[DechanDawa]

I talked with a very old friend (of decades) today...from out-of-state.


I don't know when she got so toxic. All of her family relationships are so problematic I could not relate. I have let go of negative family members and only relate to those who are sensitive, smart, and sweet.


What I think has happened is this. Back in the day I was more a victim in relationships than now. So I think we complained together about how others offended us.

I think maybe I have outgrown the victim mentality and that's why I can't relate to her anymore. She seems stuck.


After the phone call I felt extremely agitated. I asked myself, "What just happened?" because she seemed to be ranting uncontrollably.

Maybe I have outgrown the friendship. I don't remember her being like this in the past.

[Stella green]

Sometimes we don't let go of our friendships, we simply outgrow them..
This seems true in your case.
I am saying this because I can relate very well to this. I used to do it as well. You know ***** about how unfair the world is to us and have long useless conversations about our miserable lives. But after a long time or should I say years, I realized that being angry at the world isnt the way ahead. How can the universe love me, when I don't reciprocate the same feelings. So I decided to get better. Mind you many things are easier said than done. It is tough to be optimistic about everything around us when your life is going downhill.
It's a lengthy process but it is definitely worth the journey..

I feel like this is not the answer you were looking for
But definitely felt good to rant after a long time :P

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by Stella green

Sometimes we don't let go of our friendships, we simply outgrow them..
This seems true in your case.
I am saying this because I can relate very well to this. I used to do it as well. You know ***** about how unfair the world is to us and have long useless conversations about our miserable lives. But after a long time or should I say years, I realized that being angry at the world isnt the way ahead. How can the universe love me, when I don't reciprocate the same feelings. So I decided to get better. Mind you many things are easier said than done. It is tough to be optimistic about everything around us when your life is going downhill.
It's a lengthy process but it is definitely worth the journey..

I feel like this is not the answer you were looking for
But definitely felt good to rant after a long time :P

This answer was perfect! Thank you. I think all along I have been working very hard on this issue of reducing unrealistic expectations of others and just working on my own growth. While I guess she has not been working at all and so is very unhappy with everyone around her. Sigh. It's sad. I just didn't realize a big chasm was opening up between us.