Why is my bpd wife so moody and different from day to day

I have been married to my wife for almost two years now. We bought a home together last July and I absolutely love the home we bought. But I am having a really hard time being comfortable there. One day she is happy and the next day she wants to sell the home. The reason why is that we have a train close by that blows its horn during the night. And also the neighbor lets her dogs out around 5:30 am and they bark for a solid hour.She finally started wearing ear plugs at night for the train noise. But she says they hurt her ears and takes them out during the middle of the night. So at 5:30 the dogs always wake her. I went to the neighbors home one night when the dogs were barking and asked if they could bring them back inside. She was really nice and apologized and said to let her know if we have any other issues and gave my wife her phone number the next day. Fast forward to this morning the dogs were barking and the wife woke up in a bad mode. Once again saying she doesn't want to live here anymore and is going to sell the house. She gets so angry about it there is no way she can go back to sleep once this happens. I told her to talk with or text the neighbor about it because maybe she doesn't realize this is waking her up. But she doesn't want to do that. She wants me to contact her and take care of it for her. My issue is I don't get as angry about it. Why does she want to make me the bad girl complainer? I just feel that if it is bothering her that bad she should take it up with the neighbor. I also did a lot of research and found a company that makes sound proof windows for homes. She doesn't like that idea because the windows are expensive. But they would seriously be way less than selling our home and buying another place. We would lose so much money only being there a few months. I feel like anything I suggest gets shot down. That she doesn't even want to try and just wants to be angry. It is really wearing me out. What would you all suggest I do?

Let me also say that my wife has been diagnosed as bi-polar and PTSD. She doesn't take meds and has stopped her therapy. Yesterday she was so nice and happy and today she is angry again. I am really having a hard time feeling comfortable and secure anymore.

Ideally you'd get her to take her meds again. Otherwise, I suppose it might work to humor her in her moments. Maybe say, "I'd sad you're feeling that way. What can I do to help?"

Worth a try, anyway.

I'd be unhappy in that house, too. Could you take her house shopping again and maybe rent out the current house or such?

That might be what we have to do. The mood swings just really get to me.

Actually I can relate to a lot of this except that I would be in your wife's role. Where I live there are ordinances regarding this dog situation. I'd probably call the police & they'd take care of it. Perhaps where you live that's not the case. Or perhaps you don't want to "rock the boat", as the saying goes. But I personally don't think anyone should have to be awakened at 5:30 a.m. every day by barking dogs. (We also have trains that run near our home. But I actually like to hear the sound of their horns at night.)

You wrote your wife has been diagnosed as having bipolar disorder and PTSD but she doesn't take med's & has stopped her therapy. Clearly you can't make your wife do what she needs to do to cope with her mental health issues. As DocJohn has written: "Denial is a Powerful Impediment to Treatment":

Denial is a Powerful Impediment to Treatment

My suggestion would be to see if you can strike a bargain. Tell your wife, point-blank, that you can't continue living with her mood swings (assuming you can't.) But you're also not interested in selling the house. (Selling the house you own & moving somewhere else is simply going to substitute a new set of anger-provoking problems for the one's you already have. The reality is this isn't about the house, the neighborhood, the dogs, or the trains. It's about your wife's inability to cope with the various kinds of day-to-day annoyances everyone has to deal with. I know because I have the same problem.)

Offer to go ahead & speak to the neighbor about the dogs (I know you don't feel you should have to... & you shouldn't.) But just do it in exchange for your wife's agreement to return to therapy & consideration of medications if it becomes apparent med's are going to be necessary to control her mood swings. (Perhaps the windows can be thrown into the bargain in some way or other as well. They sound like a good idea.) But if something such as that gets shot down out-of-hand, as it sounds like other things have, then perhaps what is going to be needed is for you to seek counseling or therapy services for yourself in an effort to figure out what you want to do. The cold hard reality here may just be there are not going to be any really good options, just a variety of not-so-good or even bad ones from which you are going to have to choose... if not now then at some later date. My best wishes to you.

I guess I see it two ways. On one hand she needs to be medicated ( if that helped in the past). On the other hand helping her by talking to the neighbor about her dogs isnt so awful either.

I have Bipolar.... it’s not an excuse to be miserable to live with

Was she unmedicated before you bought your home? How was her mood? Did she have problems with noises also there?

I think her having a talk with the neighbor would be helpful IF you think she will be mature about it? The neighbor probably lets the dogs out and maybe getting ready for work and not even hear the dogs?? So maybe a talk will get her to pay closer attention and bring her dogs in if they are barking ?

I have been off my meds since last March it was a well thought out decision.. I agreed that if I wasn’t doing well sans meds I would go back on them. I owe to my husband to be the best possible me not only for him but for myself. Im sure lol need meds again and that’s ok.

It’s not been a picnic at times being Med free sure I wake up some days bytchy just because I can feel every emotion under the sun just like everyone else on the planet. So not every action or feeling is “ Bipolar”

That said .. is there a reason she’s not on meds ??

To the OP , read the title of your post. You answer your own question.
BPD.

Thank you for sharing with me. You have given some very good advice. I know the dogs are very frustrating, but we have to come to a solution. Not just get mad and turn the entire day bad. I feel like if something happens then the entire day is ruined. I just don't want to feel so happy just to have it pulled out from under me the next day. I feel really shut down right now.

I will try talking to the neighbor again. At least I can say I did what I could. She hasn't been on meds since I have know her. We did go to therapy together until our therapist moved out of state. Haven't found anyone else. But I think that would be much help.