What to do when your significant other doesn't want to go on dates?

Moonchild21 · Feb 04, 2020 at 11:24 AM

In short we’ve been together going on 2 years. Earlier on in the relationship we’ve went on maybe a total of 4 real dates.. every time I suggest an outing something comes up, he agrees then flakes out or doesnt want to go altogether. He says I need to come up with Ideas when I do he still doesn’t want to. & he never come up with anything for us. Finances aren't a problem and neither is time. We’ve had a big blowout just recently about it & he says he doesn’t feel like “date night” is a priority. Clearly I feel the opposite way .. we’re both introverts but I’d still like to go out once in a while to have FUN. Im deeply considering ending the relationship but I dont know if its impulsive or not. He shows he cares and love me in other ways but idk... please give me your honest opinions or advice thanks

Yaowen · Feb 04, 2020 at 12:25 PM

Hi Moonchild,

I can see why you are frustrated with this situation and I would feel exactly the same if I was in your place. Wish I knew what to advise but I have never been very good at relationships so I am the last person on earth to offer advice. Sure hope you can find a way to get your needs met in this relationship. You deserve a good and happy life!

LilyMop · Feb 04, 2020 at 12:44 PM

I don’t think you should give up on the relationship if he’s otherwise a loving and loyal partner. It sounds like you value quality time with him and maybe he feels pressured by the whole date night theme? Are there activities he enjoys that you can suggest? Maybe you can focus on spending quality time together doing hobbies you each enjoy. Maybe it can be a trade off where one time it’s something you choose and another time it’s something he chooses? Maybe if things relax a bit and he doesn’t feel pressured the date nights might start to evolve a bit on their own?

s4ndm4n2006 · Feb 04, 2020 at 01:09 PM

Either move on and find someone with the same values date wise as you or accept that he's not the type to prioritize that. I mean you can't make him change the way he feels about it, but you can do one of the above things. you adjust yourself to accept the situation is what it is or you move on. Aside from the dating issue is everything else so good it's worth giving that up for? That's what you need to ask yourself.

TishaBuv · Feb 04, 2020 at 02:38 PM

You could find friends and go out without him. If that leads to finding a new partner more to your compatibility...all the better.

Bill3 · Feb 04, 2020 at 02:57 PM

After looking again at your recent thread what occurs to me is that his unwillingness to date and have fun with you is just one more reason to move on from him.

divine1966 · Feb 04, 2020 at 09:10 PM

Him not wanting to go on dates with you is the least of your problems. You are better off

bpcyclist · Feb 05, 2020 at 03:33 AM

Date night is critical.

Sometimes psychotic · Feb 05, 2020 at 06:18 AM

For me I basically had a talk with the bf that I get depressed if I don’t go out at least once a week. As we got longer into the relationship he was decreasing the amount we went out. Have you tried explaining to him that something needs to change and that’s it affecting your happiness? He may have reasons too...a conversation can tell you whether he’ll be capable of change or not.

Have Hope · Feb 05, 2020 at 07:22 AM

If you consider date night a priority and he doesn't, you're not very compatible. Sounds like you want to have more fun with him, and he's a wet blanket. Time to move on, in my opinion.

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Yaowen Grand Magnate Member Since Jan 2020 Location: USA Posts: 3,622 (SuperPoster!) 4 6,481 hugs given	Feb 04, 2020 at 12:25 PM #2 Hi Moonchild, I can see why you are frustrated with this situation and I would feel exactly the same if I was in your place. Wish I knew what to advise but I have never been very good at relationships so I am the last person on earth to offer advice. Sure hope you can find a way to get your needs met in this relationship. You deserve a good and happy life!
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TishaBuv Legendary Member Since Dec 2014 Location: USA Posts: 10,258 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,879 hugs given	Feb 04, 2020 at 02:38 PM #5 You could find friends and go out without him. If that leads to finding a new partner more to your compatibility...all the better. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T
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Bill3 Legendary Member Since Mar 2009 Location: USA Posts: 10,927 15 24.1k hugs given	Feb 04, 2020 at 02:57 PM #6 After looking again at your recent thread what occurs to me is that his unwillingness to date and have fun with you is just one more reason to move on from him.
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divine1966 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2014 Location: US Posts: 22,533 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,280 hugs given	Feb 04, 2020 at 09:10 PM #7 Him not wanting to go on dates with you is the least of your problems. You are better off
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bpcyclist Legendary Member Since Sep 2019 Location: Portland Posts: 12,681 (SuperPoster!) 4 40.2k hugs given	Feb 05, 2020 at 03:33 AM #8 Date night is critical. __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield
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Have Hope Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2017 Location: Eastern, USA Posts: 9,134 (SuperPoster!) 6 3,643 hugs given	Feb 05, 2020 at 07:22 AM #10 If you consider date night a priority and he doesn't, you're not very compatible. Sounds like you want to have more fun with him, and he's a wet blanket. Time to move on, in my opinion. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes
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