[Lunasol]

Hi,

Possible trigger:

My cousin was just killed at her place of work yesterday,

within a month of my aunt in-law passing away from lung cancer. My cousin took care of my uncle for a long time, and now he's lost his wife and daughter. My father seems to be more concerned with my uncles house and cars, and the fact that my aunt in law's family is currently residing there. He's also concerned about my uncles son asking my uncle for financial assistance. My Father says he is more concerned with my uncle being taken care of but if that is the case, I don't know why he would mention my uncles cars or mention the houses specifications. My father carries a lot of resentment towards his own parents because he didn't receive any money from when they passed. Now I feel like he's attempting to make good and ingratiate himself, to portray himself as a worthy party for gaining an inheritance. I want to honor my cousins memory. But I now do not want anything to do with my father. I feel guilt for this, but I feel like my intuition is correct..

[bpcyclist]

I am so sorry for your loss, Lunasol. That is just heartbreaking. How old was she?

As anyone who reads threads for any period of time on PC knows, families are often a great big mess. Just a huge flail. For tons of people. Tons of us. You are not even remotely alone. I have not spoken to my jerk-brother in 13 years. Quite happily, I might add. Have not heard from my son since 2010. Not happy about that, but beyond my control.

The only counsel I can offer about these things is to 1) take care of yourself, don't let anyone mistreat you or take advantage of you andif they do, immediately get rid of them, and 2) go with your gut--do what it is telling you to do. Our gut is almost always right, in my experience.

Sending you support!!!!!!