[jcl76]

I truly could use some words of encouragement

This has been a tough month and even tougher past few days.

I have to accept letting go for good with someone who we still have strong feelings for one another.

My ex has had a tough life stemming from a abusive father and horrible marriage and divorce with a narcissist.

We both adore each other and our time are truly great when things are good, and we both felt comfortable opening up and talking. The intimacy we great and we just connected.

The problem was when we got close she would pull away all the time. I really put my heart and soul into our relationship, and tried to remain empathetic with everything and trying to remain myself. Even trying to recognize the moments and give her space.

Well it finally wore me down and I ended things a month ago. We started texting a few weeks ago and saw each other a few times last week which were great times. There were lots of laughs, talking for hours but I was apprehensive in just jumping right back in because I ended things and because we had such a great time the walls just went up again. It was new to me when someone can go from so hot to so cold almost over night.

She is the one who finally said she needed to move on and its a very hard choice but she has accepted the fact we are not meant to be. I even said that maybe we just move on and work on ourselves and if we are in a different place one day maybe we connect. Her words were "no her mind is made up and she is moving on"

Through talking with many the overall observation is simply "she is not capable". Our whole relationship was her wanting a safe distance and she had big fear of commitment.

Its so hard knowing that every man in her life treated her heart reckless and all my efforts were not good enough.

Its not like we lost feelings or grew tired of one another, but the fact that our past wounds and fears kept something great sustained.

Its so confusing when she doesnt really think there is a solution for her issues but at the same time feels like she tried and wanted to make it work when I felt is was all me and she wanted it to just be effortlessly.

I guess this is just me getting it off my chest.

Its tough waling away and accepting that moving on from someone you love is the best thing for yourself.

[Have Hope]

I guess by concluding that she can’t give you what you need in the end. Sounds like she’ll have trouble with anyone. Know that you tried your best. That thought always comforted me when I’ve felt that way. Hugs to you.