Why did this happen?

throwawaypetals · 08:32 PM

I was

Possible trigger:

sexually assaulted

last year and I was dealing with a lot of public backlash from random people and friends that defended my attacker. I broke up with my boyfriend that year because I was confused with my emotions, but he still stayed by my side.

I met a guy that year and we became friends. He quickly opened up about his past to me; he said he was betrayed a lot and that a lot of online girls from a discord server he used to run, went against him. He also said heÂ’s schizophrenic and that the stress from drama and people betraying him gave him dementia. He is only 22. He said he forgets peopleÂ’s faces and names and he said he has amnesia.

Since he opened up to me about so many things, I opened up about my assault to him. When I talked about how people were defending my

Possible trigger:

rapist,

he just brought up his own problems and started talking about how online girls betrayed him and accused him of being predatory. It felt like he was constantly talking over me, or trying to one up his problems to mine. For example, when I opened up about people betraying me and defending my

Possible trigger:

rapist,

he said "Well I've been betrayed by friends that I've known for 12 years." Sometimes I would say something and he would just ignore it and talk about something else. He constantly talked over me and honestly, it was exhausting...

A month later, I was going through a very hard time and

Possible trigger:

I hurt myself. He found out about it and he was supportive. When I got out of the hospital, I was still an emotional mess.

We messaged eachother and he said he feels like IÂ’m drifting away from him. I tried to reassure him that I am not, I am just having a hard time in my life. Then he started claiming that his Â“demonÂ” is taking over him, and he started messaging me as his Â“demon.Â” He would say things like Â“IÂ’m going to hurt him, heÂ’s mine, his body is mine now, I want to hurt all your friends, one day IÂ’ll make you hate him.Â”

I wasnÂ’t sure if this was a schizophrenic attack, because he claimed that he was having a schizo attack before this? But I am not sure if this is schizophrenia. I tried to talk to him calmly but I was busy with my classes. When I said I have to go, and I tried to get another friend to help him out, he says Â“Okay IÂ’ll give him back to you now, it was fun playing.Â” and he Â“switchesÂ” back to normal and claims to have not remembered what just happened due to his dementia.

I was feeling really emotional for the next few days because I was still struggling with my assault and he was just so angry or cold with me all the time... I didn't pester him though, I gave him his space. And then he cut me off on Christmas, just leaving me a message "Bye." and removing me from everything. Then he quickly moved on to a new girl, who has a lot of mutual friends with me, and turned her against me...

It hurt but I moved on. I got back together with my boyfriend in time because he was supportive throughout all of this. Then I told my boyfriend what this friend did to me and he got angry and confronted him about it. I wasn't aware my boyfriend confronted him until everyone was suddenly against me, because apparently he said that my boyfriend and I were harassing him... and then he published a song about me, singing about me lying to him about my assault, and using him as a Â“pawn.Â” He even wrote on his profile bio "I don't respect people who LIE TO ME." The new girl even made a post about me saying "Imagine harassing someone for something they didn't do... like go outside or something" when I didn't even harass him or contact him since he cut me off.

I didnÂ’t lie about my assault... and seeing him say all these things about me, and seeing people buy his song, and coddle him up, hurt so much. In the song he says I was a chore to him, and it kinda mentioned the time where I cried on the phone, and for that I am a "chore". I cried on the phone because he tried to have phone sex with me so it ended up with me crying.. He even made posts in a public thread calling me fake, a psychopath, and a liar... saying that he deeply regrets meeting me, and that he's tired of meeting people like me, and he called me miserable and that i need to learn how to be more positive. Everyone that responded to his thread comforted him... I felt so confused...

Eventually the new girl left him, and I saw he made some threads about her, calling her fake. He seems to have a new girl by his side every month and they always end up cutting him off and he lashes out in public posts to get sympathy from random posters.

Well, this was all back in Jan-February and I am healing from my assault and him, and I am still with my boyfriend... but sometimes i feel confused, I feel like maybe I really was a chore and I didnt support his schizophrenia enough. but at the same time I feel like he lied about alot of things, like his dementia, and all his stories about how he dealt with

Possible trigger:

murderers, serial killers, and had alot of friends commit suicide,

and how girls hurt him. And his song hurts me the most. It shames me and my assault in every way possible... Seeing him all of a sudden turn on me was shocking.

He was romantically interested in me when we talked and I admit, I was anxious and cautious of getting close to a guy so I was moody and distant at times when he would try to make a move or get sexual. But I have never insulted him or bullied him or anything. I was just dealing with a lot with my attacker at the time, I was going through the process of reporting him and there was just a lot for me...

Is it possible he was a liar or a narcissist? Or is this all my fault? Could I have been a better friend? Why did this happen? I am confused...

Open Eyes · Aug 20, 2020 at 09:22 PM

Hi throwawaypetals. Welcome to psych central.

From what you shared this guy is deeply disturbed and someone that it’s best to distance from and stop all communication with him. It’s not your fault or responsibility to fix his problems. He is clearly a very disordered and disturbed person.

I am very sorry you experienced sexual assault and there have been individuals that chose not to believe you. You know the truth and I hope you reported it.

You sound too trusting and niave and it’s important to pay attention to red flags that mean another person is not safe and important to distance from.

I am sure others will offer you support here at PC.