mothers and daughters

the past 3-4 years things have had their ups and downs with my mother-daughter relationship we have been best friends for as long as I can Remember. I'm 33yrs old and my mom, sister and I have always shared a place together things were good up until about till 3years ago slowly but Shirley she would pick at things that I would say or do then it started turning in to name calling then she would criticize me about the things I would say or do and it was over stupidity then she became just mad then maddening over anything and all and nothing at all this went on for sometime and I would always feel hurt by it but I felt it was me in the wrong and that I deserved it then she got better with me and it all stop for a long time and I was like things are good were ok and was happy again. But then we moved a year ago things were good and happy and exciting but as soon as we got settled in it wasn't long after it all started up again but this time it was days, weeks, months that turned into a year of it but she got even worse now Its very rare that I have a good day but when I do I get sucked into by her and think that things are okay because I love my mother more then anyone and anything in the world would do anything for her but these days when its the bad times i spend the days in my bedroom alone and just cry and feel so much hurt and she gets angry that im in my room because she calls it or me that Im being a baby and that if i keep this up her and i will be done. and my sister who lives with us never has to hear my side of story or her and see's the way im treated but always takes my moms side and then wants nothing to do with me either and goes along with my mother and I been praying that are relationship gets better but nothings changed Iv even gone to an online church and talked there but they just pray for you which is a blessing but there no real advice or comfort and thats all I need or want my mother is not like any other mother shes different and I always thought that was a good thing but now days all I want is a good mother whos like everybody eles and its all okay I love you and I know she does in her own ways but its too much for me. Shame on me but I have been wishing my aunt was my mom she is the most wonderful lady and good to her kids she makes me smile. bad daughter saying that but I said it to myself not out loud. I live with her because one I have health issues and she takes care of me when it comes to that shes good but I also cant afford to move out right now but we all have talk and decided when we can will move out separately. So here I am nice to meet you

How old is your mom? Does she exhibit other behaviours, like forgetfulness or losing things, etc..

Yes she does all the time! And she's in her 50's shes always been sick with many illnesses but she has a new one and its the worst of then but this is my mother naturally trust me.


Things are looking up for the first time ever my sister sat down with me and listened to me and my story and she says she understands and that she's there for me and that I'm going to get though this and that were gonna all sit down and discuss and fix the issue. So I'm happy and feeling better about it all. One day at a time thats all it takes. Thanks

You are not a bad daughter for preferring your aunt's love and kindness.

Thank you! For your kind words. I don't hate my mother, I lover her she's just overwhelming at times but I hope we can mend are relationship and help better it.

Is it possible she's showing early signs of Alzheimer's or Dementia? I'm only asking because you've always had a close connection with her until 3 years ago. Now her behaviour has gone to the other extreme it seems..?

First thing that came to me was some sort of dementia. One of the earliest signs is a change in personality and it really does sound like there is something organic going on with her brain. Can you see if she is willing to see a doctor to rule out other physical things?