[indigo1015]

So I'll get straight to the point-- I'm 34 years old, single with no kids. I don't think this combination is bad, but it seems other people around me do. My dad is almost 70 and often implies that he wants grandkids. My mom isn't much better about it, and a lot of people I know in my age group seem to be married/divorced/whatever with kids. I want kids. I'd love to be married or even in a long-term relationship with kids. When you're in your thirties, however, it's a lot harder to form real relationships. For me, it's because I have a better sense of who I am and what I am looking for than I did in my twenties. I get the "Why is someone like you single?" question a lot. For me, finding love wasn't my main priority for a long time. That's the real reason people don't do things, right? We all could work out more, keep in touch with family, etc. But my priority when I first came out to Colorado was getting established-- finding a job, going to school, moving into my own place, making friends, etc. Also, I'm not your typical crossfit-crushing, craft beer-swilling, SUV-driving, marathon-running, soccer-mom thirty-something woman. I'm neither liberal nor conservative, I know next to nothing about tech, and I just don't seem to be finding anyone who is okay with any of this. Most guys I meet these days don't seem to want to date someone who likes different things from them, they just want someone who will conveniently fit into their lives who they can say is their girlfriend; sorry if that sounds mean, but that's how it comes across. I get that we need a common ground, but I don't see the appeal of finding a carbon-copy version of myself. I want to meet someone I click with and to whom I can really relate, who appeals to me, and who I can learn from and grow with in a relationship. I want to get out and meet guys more, but COVID has messed that up very effectively. It's also because people in Denver are so snotty and retarded. I may not even find what I'm looking for here. But I don't plan on moving again for a few more years, and I don't want to wait that long if I want to have kids. I don't know why I'm babbling like this-- it just seems like a complete cluster****. I miss being in a relationship. I miss sex. I want to find my life partner or soulmate or whatever that **** you want to call it. These days, however, it ain't easy.

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by indigo1015

So I'll get straight to the point-- I'm 34 years old, single with no kids. I don't think this combination is bad, but it seems other people around me do. My dad is almost 70 and often implies that he wants grandkids. My mom isn't much better about it, and a lot of people I know in my age group seem to be married/divorced/whatever with kids.I want kids. I'd love to be married or even in a long-term relationship with kids. When you're in your thirties, however, it's a lot harder to form real relationships. For me, it's because I have a better sense of who I am and what I am looking for than I did in my twenties. I get the "Why is someone like you single?" question a lot. For me, finding love wasn't my main priority for a long time. That's the real reason people don't do things, right? We all could work out more, keep in touch with family, etc. But my priority when I first came out to Colorado was getting established-- finding a job, going to school, moving into my own place, making friends, etc. Also, I'm not your typical crossfit-crushing, craft beer-swilling, SUV-driving, marathon-running, soccer-mom thirty-something woman. I'm neither liberal nor conservative, I know next to nothing about tech, and I just don't seem to be finding anyone who is okay with any of this. Most guys I meet these days don't seem to want to date someone who likes different things from them, they just want someone who will conveniently fit into their lives who they can say is their girlfriend; sorry if that sounds mean, but that's how it comes across. I get that we need a common ground, but I don't see the appeal of finding a carbon-copy version of myself. I want to meet someone I click with and to whom I can really relate, who appeals to me, and who I can learn from and grow with in a relationship. I want to get out and meet guys more, but COVID has messed that up very effectively. It's also because people in Denver are so snotty and retarded. I may not even find what I'm looking for here. But I don't plan on moving again for a few more years, and I don't want to wait that long if I want to have kids. I don't know why I'm babbling like this-- it just seems like a complete cluster****. I miss being in a relationship. I miss sex. I want to find my life partner or soulmate or whatever that **** you want to call it. These days, however, it ain't easy.

You did what people say to do, establish yourself first, find out who you are and love yourself before you can love someone else, and all that...

Now you realize it is time to have kids or you won’t be having them naturally. It makes sense.

I believe there’s someone out there for everyone. Sure, you can’t date in person right now, but you can swipe left and right and chat for now.

I like how you described what you are not. . Describe what you are and make a dating profile.

[indigo1015]

Already done that

[Open Eyes]

Your parents are from the generation where getting married and having children was a priority. Don't let them push you or contribute to your feeling bad about your decision to become a self sufficient woman. More women are waiting to get married and have children later too.

You are not the first to mention the challenge of finding someone at your age. Keep looking and find some single social groups you can join. Marriage and children is not the be all and end all in life either. Plenty of couples with children going through divorce these days too.

[Have Hope]

I was/am a lot like yourself while in my thirties. At your age, I was very focused on establishing a career path for myself.

As it turns out, I did not marry until the age of 48! I remained single, despite a few offers of marriage. I wanted to wait for the right person to come along, and I was willing to hold out for that special one.

Though unlike you, I never wanted children, and never did have children. That is perfectly OK for me.

I say, hold out for what you truly want. Never settle. And see where life takes you. Perhaps it will take you away and out of Denver at some point.

And don't worry too much or at all about what others say and think. I understand the pressures placed on you by others' expectations, but we have to live life according to our own personal principles, expectations, and timing. Love is not the answer to everything. There's far more to life than a relationship. And I agree full-heartedly about creating a life for yourself first, and one that you are happy with.

So stay on your path, and if you truly do want a partner one day and children, you can be proactive and take steps to help that process along.