[BadGirlBlues]

Hey, all.

I (f49) have recently begun seeing someone (m60). We have a good connection, and a lot in common. It is rapidly evolving into a serious relationship.

My problem: over the months that we have been together, I just so happen to have been doing very well, where my bipolar episodes/symptoms are concerned.

I have been honest about my past hospitalizations, suicide attempt, and struggling with this condition for so many years. He knows I am on disability for serious mental illness.

But I don't think he gets it. He seems to think I will always be in my current condition. And if the past is a predictor of the future, I will at some point be having problems.

Are there books or resources I should point him toward? Or what do you all think? I think it's only fair to make sure he understands what he could potentially be getting into.

Please share your thought or opinions with me.

[sarahsweets]

That’s a lot to tell someone newly dating. He may not get it because it’s only a recent thing ?

[Have Hope]

If it's only a matter of months that you have been together, couldn't you simply tell him that this is a stable period for you and that he should know that it isn't always like this? That there could be rockier times ahead for you? I wouldn't give him books to read at this stage. It seems too early in the relationship. If you were to move in together or get engaged or if it's been a year together, then yes, perhaps.

[sarahsweets]

I am so confused. Is this a new person ? Were their multiple boyfriends all this time? Or just one? Someone help me out.

[Rive.]

It might be difficult for other people to understand mental illness or mental health problems in general.

There is nothing wrong in 'educating' him so that he knows what to expect and is generally better informed.

You could look for general info (e.g. google, your library) to show him.

[BadGirlBlues]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

I am so confused. Is this a new person ? Were their multiple boyfriends all this time? Or just one? Someone help me out.

Maybe you are confusing me with someone else? I haven't posted on this site since like 2016, and this is a new boyfriend, the only one in those years.

[BadGirlBlues]

We've been dating about five months. This is not a young person out having fun thing. We are both looking for a life partner.

I don't think I made it sound as...real as it actually is.

Originally Posted by BadGirlBlues

Maybe you are confusing me with someone else? I haven't posted on this site since like 2016, and this is a new boyfriend, the only one in those years.

I am thinking that yes, sarahsweets may have meant to post that on a different thread.

If you are worried about him not getting it, could you say that directly to him? Also, 5 months, to me, is a good amt of time. I don't think there's a wrong answer here about what you should do, like giving him info / literature VS not. I think you should do what feels right for you and the relationship. Are you hesitant about sharing more bc you're worried about scaring him away? Why don't you take him at his word? Congratulations on your health, wellness, and budding relationship.

[sarahsweets]

Originally Posted by BadGirlBlues

Maybe you are confusing me with someone else? I haven't posted on this site since like 2016, and this is a new boyfriend, the only one in those years.

YES! t was confusing you. Sorry.

[BadGirlBlues]

Originally Posted by WovenGalaxy

If you are worried about him not getting it, could you say that directly to him? Also, 5 months, to me, is a good amt of time. I don't think there's a wrong answer here about what you should do, like giving him info / literature VS not. I think you should do what feels right for you and the relationship. Are you hesitant about sharing more bc you're worried about scaring him away? Why don't you take him at his word? Congratulations on your health, wellness, and budding relationship.

You hit the nail on the head, I suppose I AM actually afraid I'll scare him away. Im going to look into resources for him to learn more about bipolar. I just don't think my verbal explanations are adequate. At least this way, I can be sure he at least has a grasp of the basics.

Thank you so much for your well-wishes! Much appreciated. I'm striving to move forward into life with hopefulness.

[BadGirlBlues]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

YES! t was confusing you. Sorry.

No problem.