[mark27]

Hey.

I posted topic almost 5 months ago here.
https://psychcentralforums.com/relat...sted-life.html

Yet I didnt do anything as always. Not sure if ever will.


It took me few months to realize that everything I deal with these days is due to thinking issues. When I hear sometimes " if you put your mind to it, you will achive anything you want or mind is the most powerful thing we have" etc. Im like what the hell mind is? I dont feel it, I dont understand it, i cant really use it.


I question if I have schizophrenia or if im autistic.
- i have no feelings to my family members
- i isolate from them, i dont really care to be honest how are they
- i have no friends

- i dont plan anything even a day ahead
- i quit college in 2015 because i felt so much pressure in my head
- its very hard for me to speak in logical way, to make sense, not to be lost in words, in what i want to say.

- my head is almost always empty, i have nothing to say to anyone about anything
- i dont care about my health ( i got eye floaters, pain in eyes, teeth that shoud be fixed years ago,

- i dont think about future

I could keep going wwith that list. Its like I have no clue why im even alive... there is nothing out there in the bigger picture. This life is really pointless.

I got to be realistic that if I was my whole life like that I will probably stay like that? Not sure what to do, i dont want spend money on psychiatrists. They really charge $300-500 for vistis which is super insane in this covid world. Not to say medications cost. I really dont know what to do or think...

[mark27]

any thoughts

[mark27]

Sounds like there are a few extreme qualities in your life you are not happy about. Sometimes I feel how you describe how you are feeling and your personality type. For instance , sometimes I feel isolated but that is because I miss the company of others. Most of the time I do enjoy being alone.

When planning, I feel other people focus on small details while I tend to look at the big picture. But when involved in a task, I concentrate on small details and sometimes loose sight of the bigger picture. I don’t think about my future because I already know what I want- but all that seems so far away right now - so I’m waiting for the right opportunities to present themselves and do what I can to take care of myself for now.

Also, I live quickly but prefer life changes to happen slowly and over time. I do suffer from mood disorder-and depression so I do what I need to do for myself and cope with others. I love to eat, I exercise excessively and I love to spend money and fashion things together. Sometimes I do feel the need to spend money in therapy or meds and stuff but sometimes that is exactly what I need.

Not sure 🤔 what you describe is what you think it is it possibly a phase you go through. A professional can help you get there. I’ve found that it is more helpful for me to focus on the small problems and the big problems work themselves out over time. Good luck 😉 it’s kinda hard becoming your best self without help. Glad your here.

[Prycejosh1987]

You should think about your future. We sow seeds today for plants tomorrow. Its always good to also take things one day at a time.