He said he loved me

FridayT · Sep 22, 2021 at 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

She is a victim of his bad treatment and manipulation. I am not sure why you are telling her to stay with him. .

I'm not a she. I'm a man.

That's not to say i don't agree. i don't need this in my life, no way should i ever be in this situation since it's been like this for 9 stupid years.

divine1966 · Sep 23, 2021 at 06:19 PM

I am sorry to hear about all this. I don’t believe that courts can prevent you from divorcing this person. You are within your rights to go through legal divorce. I hope you stay safe and keep your distance from this person. Wise of you to cut ties

I see that I assumed you were a woman. My apologies. Regardless of your gender I hope you never allow abuse ever again

FridayT · Sep 23, 2021 at 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

I am sorry to hear about all this. I don’t believe that courts can prevent you from divorcing this person. You are within your rights to go through legal divorce. I hope you stay safe and keep your distance from this person. Wise of you to cut ties

I see that I assumed you were a woman. My apologies. Regardless of your gender I hope you never allow abuse ever again

Thanks and I know you mean nothing bad. Yes, no one should ever be abused.

sarahsweets · Sep 25, 2021 at 04:43 AM

oh @FridayT read this link!

64 Signs of Mental and Emotional Abuse: How to Identify It, What to Do

Quote:

Originally Posted by FridayT

I'm in a process of divorce. I've been married a year, in the relationship for 7 to 8 years. It's been abusive emotionally and mentally. There were good times and bad times. But he turned from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde all the time.

Long story short, he was admitted in Chandler, az in hospital. He had been missing a week without calling me until recently. We had a massive fight. I'm tired of being told to tell people what to do on his behalf. I'm tired of him slitting his wrists and showing it to me. I'm tired of him assuming I'm not doing the best I can when I did. So he left in the middle of the night. He kept calling me few times three days from yesterday. He said he's sorry, he said he wanted to talk to me. He said he doesn't want my dreams lost, he said he wanted to fix things and so on. I don't know what to believe. My parents think he's a sociopath and the book psychopath free says as much. I just dont know how I feel and I really don't know what to do. He always hated it here, he hated the dog, he was always controlling and he expects me to do everything for him. He never works and is always sick and in pain since forever. I do love him, but I can't do this as he did this multiple times.

How many times must I forgive him?

I can't do this anymore. It's just hurting me so much when he send me these voicemails, but I know we'll be right back to what we've started.

This man is not stable or safe regardless if its a mental health issue or if he's a jerk. Is he still living with you? That needs to change. Can you go stay with your parents?

FridayT · Sep 25, 2021 at 05:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

oh @FridayT read this link!

64 Signs of Mental and Emotional Abuse: How to Identify It, What to Do

This man is not stable or safe regardless if its a mental health issue or if he's a jerk. Is he still living with you? That needs to change. Can you go stay with your parents?

Reading it, most applies. Of course, I sit down communication myself but only because of the fact that he belittled, mocked, claimed I'm playing martyrdom or call me names.

I'm with my family, I've been trying to sever communication as in no contact.

FridayT · Sep 27, 2021 at 04:37 AM

I received an email from him that he wanted me to come back. I told him no. He threatened to sent the police on me for "spousal abandonment" even claiming I'm "abusing" him. I'll be talking to the police this Monday. Explaining that I was at a behavioral health because of him, at domestic violence shelter because of him, I tried to divorce him, I ordered a restraining order against him and I suffered severe abuse from him for nine years along with his narcissistic delusion that I'm the abuse. I am not going back and I do not think the police will arrest me for getting away from my abuser.

sarahsweets · Sep 27, 2021 at 06:01 AM

Hey @FridayT

Quote:

I received an email from him that he wanted me to come back. I told him no. He threatened to sent the police on me for "spousal abandonment" even claiming I'm "abusing" him. I'll be talking to the police this Monday. Explaining that I was at a behavioral health because of him, at domestic violence shelter because of him, I tried to divorce him, I ordered a restraining order against him and I suffered severe abuse from him for nine years along with his narcissistic delusion that I'm the abuse.

Be careful with your expectations from the police. Even now in the 21st century about half the cops do not take DV as seriously as they should. The reason I believe that is I also used to volunteer with the DV response team where I go to a location where DV has occured- it could be right away where I am in the driveway talking with them- or help women get into hiding, find resources and recovery or just be emotional support for all the court stuff etc. I personally would leave the behavioral health hospital stay out of all convo's with police. THEY WILL think differently about you. They will judge you. People with MI's already have enough trouble being taken seriously, combined with judgement because of it and the DV situation I worry he is going to use this to flip the script on you.

Can you just completely block him and ignore him an his threats while you get legal advice?

If your husband is truly a legit narcisist he will be able to play the cops like a fiddle. He will prey on your emotions attempting to elicit an irrational outburst. He gaslights. What happened with the order of protection? Legally what was the outcome?
What do you mean by "tried to divorce him?" (these are all questions that an ignorant insensitive person might ask)[/B][/SIZE][/FONT]

FridayT · Sep 27, 2021 at 06:39 AM

OK. Well the order of protection fell through because it's not enough to support that he was a danger to me. I filed the divorce through the court and I delivered the copy of divorce to him by he did nothing. I don't know what to do. I can't go back and I feel stuck.

Have Hope · Sep 27, 2021 at 06:48 AM

Is it a contested divorce, I assume? Do you have a lawyer? All you can do now I believe is wait for your court date, since you've filed for divorce already. Maybe join an abuse support group to help you through the trauma of abuse?

FridayT · Sep 27, 2021 at 06:55 AM

Seem like the best choice is to get attorney and abuse support network.

I have no attorney because I'm broke and homeless.

As for the divorce, can't be sure if it's contested or not. I just want to end this and get the hell out of here.

sarahsweets · Sep 27, 2021 at 08:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FridayT

OK. Well the order of protection fell through because it's not enough to support that he was a danger to me. I filed the divorce through the court and I delivered the copy of divorce to him by he did nothing. I don't know what to do. I can't go back and I feel stuck.

Can you afford an attorney consult most of them are free. If your income does not support the ability to hire an attorney I can help you find legal aid services wherever you’re located. I’ve done it before. Legally you serving him with the papers sort of doesn’t matter. You need to have A court officer that is responsible for serving people legal documents. They will serve him he will sign for it and will be considered official. A lawyer will also mail him a copy so there’s no disputing it. All your husband has to do is the name gave it to him and ignore it because legally there’s no way to back it up.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

sarahsweets · Sep 27, 2021 at 08:50 AM

[FONT="Georgia"][SIZE="3"][B]https://legalaidaz.com/ this is an excellent place to start you should call and fill out the contact form. @FridayT

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FridayT Member Member Since Jun 2015 Location: Phoenix Posts: 55 8 37 hugs given	Sep 27, 2021 at 06:39 AM #28 OK. Well the order of protection fell through because it's not enough to support that he was a danger to me. I filed the divorce through the court and I delivered the copy of divorce to him by he did nothing. I don't know what to do. I can't go back and I feel stuck. __________________ https://www.youtube.com/user/BiFriday
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FridayT Member Member Since Jun 2015 Location: Phoenix Posts: 55 8 37 hugs given	Sep 27, 2021 at 06:55 AM #30 Seem like the best choice is to get attorney and abuse support network. I have no attorney because I'm broke and homeless. As for the divorce, can't be sure if it's contested or not. I just want to end this and get the hell out of here. __________________ https://www.youtube.com/user/BiFriday
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sarahsweets Threadtastic Postaholic Member Since Dec 2018 Location: New Jersey Posts: 6,006 (SuperPoster!) 5 192 hugs given	Sep 27, 2021 at 08:50 AM #32 [FONT="Georgia"][SIZE="3"][B]https://legalaidaz.com/ this is an excellent place to start you should call and fill out the contact form. @FridayT __________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society.
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