[Fuzzybear]

Trigger warning.

I kindly suggest you do not read or reply to this if you are feeling ''vulnerable'' or particularly ''stressed''.... I try to listen to others and their preferences and needs when I reply to posts and I deeply appreciate it when others give me the same respect

I sometimes have ''difficulty dealing with'' ...

People who are so into ''comparing'' other people to you..
Who tell you about scary scenarios where ''others have it worse''
People who know little or nothing about you...
Who maybe think they are being ''helpful''?
Or maybe who sneakily are taking their disowned rage out on you

I have experienced multiple ''professionals'' irl engaging in this behaviour towards me. IMHO this is a boundary violation and I do not appreciate it one bit.

This is not about anyone on pc

I kindly request no posts about the current ''situation'' in the world. Or referencing that ''situation''...Thank you.

[SorryShaped]

The Dude, from "The Big Lebowski," said it best for these situations, "yeah, well, that's like uh your opinion, man"

That's what I try to remember: that it's just THEIR opinion. And they are entitled to their opinion (as am I entitled to mine).

People who are so into ''comparing'' other people to you..

Comparisons are the same as minimizing and invalidating. They serve no purpose other than to undermine the receiver's self-esteem and self-worth.

Who tell you about scary scenarios where ''others have it worse''

Grass is greener syndrome is again a way to undermine the receiver's value and self-confidence as a way to manipulate the receiver to take the person's opinion as fact. Don't fall for it.

People who know little or nothing about you...

Remind yourself that what they opine is just their opinion about you. It's not factual and should not be taken as such.

Who maybe think they are being ''helpful''?

I dislike these types of people. Under the pretense of being "helpful," these types of people will judge and criticize you, to undermine your self-worth b/c they don't think very highly of you. Just don't tell anyone what you think or what your plans are, so that they can't interfere in your life.

Or maybe who sneakily are taking their disowned rage out on you

I find that insecure people like to project their disowned rage out on others. I've been the brunt of other people's projections. Nothing you can do except refuse to take on their yucky projection as your own feelings. Just ignore people when they act this way. Deflect. It's the best self-defense.

[lizardlady]

Fuzzy, oh do I hear you about people who point out that others have it worse. Frankly, when I'm telling someone about my pain I don't want to hear about someone else's pain. This sounds heartless, but at that point I don't give a rat's teeny, weeny backside about someone else's pain. I want to be heard. If it's a professional.doing it, can you call them on it and tell them how it makes you feel?

[SorryShaped]

Hearing about others' pain only makes me feel worse because I don't want them to hurt either

[jesyka]

Hi, I’ve had other people tell me the same thing at times. I think it’s rude & dismissive behavior.

I used to have a friend who would constantly tell me that on a scale of 1-10 that I’m ‘overreacting’ if it’s something she would think of as a size 5 problem, 10 being severe injury or the death of someone.

As for those professionals, they need to be objective, non-judgmental, & empathetic. What do you mean by displaced rage?

I hope that you’re no longer seeing those so called professionals. Their attitude sucks & they’re being dismissive towards you which is inappropriate.

They’re there to listen, give advice, and not judge.