Building a social life outside of work in a rural area

At this point, it seems my social life outside of work is based on Zoom and phone calls, but I really wish I knew how to have a social life in a rural area. In the cities, there were LGBTQ groups, so that was always an option. Here it just seems you have to have family ties, go to church (I find religion upsetting to be honest and I wouldn't feel comfortable there), or maybe go to a downtown bar (I have no idea how safe that is and technically I'm not really supposed to drink, but maybe that's the only option?)

It seems like the only things to do around here are golf (not interested), camping (I'm interested, but I would need supplies and a social group first), or school sporting events (which I go to anyway as it's part of my extra duties as a teacher...so I'm still in the "teacher" role for that).

So I'm wondering if anyone else here that lives in a rural area (or has) has any insight on how to build a social group when you have no family ties in the area and no interest in going to a church.

I look forward to others' answers because I'm in a similar situation.

While I'm still working I don't have the energy to go out and about. I'm looking into volunteering when I retire. I'm hoping to meet people that way.

I had wanted to reply when I first read your thread. But I was hesitant because I didn't know what to say that could be helpful to you. Well, I have something to say about myself but I don't know if it could be of help to you. So here it goes.

I live in a top-10 most populated metropolitan city in the US. Recently I've heard that so many people are leaving the cities and moving to more rural areas. Probably because of Covid 19. I personally have wanted to move out of where I am for a rural area for quite a while before this madness happened. I have a particular place in mind where I want to visit to see if I want to move there. I haven't been able to leave because of this virus thing.

I would have to say that people tend to be very conservative in a rural area. That's why there's a debate about the Electoral College vs. the Popular votes; so that people in rural areas can get fair representation. Well anyways, politics aside, I personally think that it would be very difficult for someone alone, be it LGBT or single and alone to fit into a rural area. It tends to be very family orientated.

I want to move to a rural area because I'm fed up with city life. Yes, it may be lonely for me to live in the sticks all by myself. I live in a small apartment complex that's 55+ mostly and haven't connected with anyone, so I feel just as alone now as I would if I moved. What I look forward to, as of now in my mind, is peace and quiet and not having to put up with other people.

I'm sorry if I don't have an answer or suggestion for you. I've heard of cases where people moved out of a city for country living and then ended up moving back to the city because they felt very lonely and missed their friends.

They seem to like having me here though...just surprised that I'm here since I'm from the city and originally from another state. I'm the district's music teacher and they used to have a good band program that was run into the ground by some crappy previous teachers and they're all so happy that a band specialist is here. I mean, even the kids are happy that they're finally being taught something. I mean, I feel welcome and accepted here (granted, I'm in the closet, but still) but I'm not sure how I fit into the community socially yet since I don't have family here and even if someone had a single family member they wanted me to meet, would they be okay with my gender and sexuality? Other than the feelings of isolation (which I also have had in the city), I like living out here so much better. I'm just wondering if there's a way to feel less isolated. Maybe there isn't a way for me whether I live here or in the city. I just feel more calm and my mental health is better out here.

There are a few apps that have events or groups meeting up. They're called Meetup and Eventbrite. There are probably other apps as well.

I imagine the apps are going to be for the cities. If everyone else has a family here, why would they need it? My only hope for living here longterm without being lonely may be to marry someone who lives around here, but who knows what else I'd have to sacrifice. And that's if there even is anyone single within 50 miles of here.

Online dating just doesn't seem to work for me. It also doesn't help that I'm so different from everyone else. I really don't know if it's okay to be different. I just miss connection/intimacy so much.

Prettyboy17, you might checkout apps like Meetup. I did and even though I live in the boonies there were things nearby. You mentioned an interest in camping. Maybe you could find a group interested in camping.

You questioned whether it's okay to be different. It's okay. I have a plaque on my door and it's something I say to the kids I work with "In a world where you can be anything, be yourself."

To those who are lonely and unhappy in the city. Please rethink moving to the country. You may find yourself lonely and unhappy living in the country. Gotta find and solve what's causing your unhappiness or it just picks up and moves with you.

An after thought.... please excuse my ignorance but do apps like MeetUp have groups for the LBGTQ community? It might be worth checking out.

I suppose you could try social networking sites. Some of them like HI5.com and Tagged.com have areas that a person can direct communicate with people from that area. They do it terms of country, but also you can narrow down areas in look for people in your area. Its easy for me to communicate with someone from texas USA or birmingham UK. Give it a try its free to message 5 people.