[Disney2019]

To make a long story short, he text me and as I thought he is playing the game to see if I will respond to keep me as his “backup plan” he strung me along for over a year until I caught him in a lie and I confronted him. Then I’m the one at fault 🙄🙄 I was trying to be mature and not have hard feelings. But he is sending me bare minimum texts then ignore me the rest of the time. Even when I text him, he responds 4 hours later because he is working. He’s unemployed actually but always has his pipe dream schemes to be a millionaire by Christmas lol. I now realize there is no way I can be in contact with him because I have way too much resentment. It all adds up and I realized the other lies I caught him in. I have such bad anxiety from him because I think I knew all along but I wanted so hard to believe he wasn’t a bad person. He disrespected me and mistreated me so many times, but is “good hearted” as he says. Nice people don’t do that to others. I blame myself for allowing myself to be a doormat for so long. I now see why he chose people (exes) who were homeless, no self esteem and came from abusive relationships or homes. He openly talked about it and acted like he was something special and they were nothing. He can’t say that about me..I have my life together. But feels like he likes women who don’t because then he feels in control and has power over them. He himself was abused, served time, etc. Not me. I need to stay strong and stay NC, I am just really feeling defeated today.

[Have Hope]

Right now, times are very difficult. I am finding it hard to keep myself busy and occupied since I am currently unemployed. It's easy to focus on someone when you have time on your hands, and I am assuming you do?

Do you have any distractions? Best advice I can give is to continue to pour yourself into other activities that do not involve thoughts of him -- whatever that may be -- reading, cleaning, walking, talking to friends or family, volunteering your time, writing or journaling, exercising.... anything. Try to put the focus on an activity, then do something else. Keep yourself occupied.

[Open Eyes]

This defeated feeling will come forward in you with any contact you have from him. He needs to devalue others because deep inside he feels powerless which is why he projects his inner issues onto others. His type prefers to choose people that are homeless or needy in some way because that way he can control them more. He clearly has a need for control to balance out his fragile ego. It's also easier for him to blame any problems on others, it's always the fault of others and not him.

Yes, it can be hard to believe someone can be like this too, certainly they will respond to love and kindness. Wrong, and a waste of your time and emotional investment.

[Bill3]

Are you saying that you are receiving texts from him?

If so, then a good option would be to block him on all media so that you do not receive such texts, emails, calls, etc.

Hang in there!

[Prycejosh1987]

I think you should discuss with him your thoughts. You should always respect yourself, and relationships need boundaries to help keep both people faithful.
Birds need to spend time with their master, and be restricted at first, and in good time, they can be let go and they will come back to the master. If the bird doesnt come back to its master, its because the master didnt set boundaries first, and implement them over time.