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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,438
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#1
UGH they make me so Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I have no idea how to ''cope'' with them other than to IGNORE their bullshyt Has anyone found any tricks to deal with these people? They make me want to ''leave'' the world. They are emotional vampires (not anyone here) __________________ |
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Bill3, eskielover, RoxanneToto, Skeezyks, Thirty shades
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 4,807
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#2
It is most difficult to ignore cruel words once spoken.
I try to reframe what has been said. See the person for who they are. The emotional rollercoaster continues with an avalanche of internal anger. I have found my latest T has helped with removing some old programmes, which makes things easier to bear. Hugs and respect |
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Fuzzybear
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Fuzzybear, RoxanneToto
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,438
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.4k hugs
given |
#3
It's like barging into my cave without knocking. What is wrong with so called intelligent ''people'' who repeatedly fail to offer basic RESPECT
My ''t'' said I am ''beyond help''... so helpful, huh? Hugs and respect __________________ |
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eskielover, RoxanneToto
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,909
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#4
I have a friend who throws P/A things out there once in awhile. Personally I try to just let it slide but there have been times when I have called her on it & just like my mom, she goes away for awhile & then calls back as if nothing ever happened. I am definitely not as close of a friend as I used to be. I am picking & choosing my close friends much more selectively these days & it feels good
__________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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Fuzzybear
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Fuzzybear, RoxanneToto
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,438
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.4k hugs
given |
#5
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Hugs and much respect __________________ |
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,438
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.4k hugs
given |
#6
Quote:
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,438
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.4k hugs
given |
#8
People who often engage in passive aggressive behaviour. I am usually quite tolerant (maybe ''too'' tolerant sometimes) but some forms of passive aggressive behaviour especially from people I have ''known'' for years, push my buttons. Fortunately those extreme behaviours are quite rare. I do not know the exact definition of ''passive aggressive'' behaviour. The sort I am talking about is often engaged in by ''covert Narcissists'' I believe So it's usually intentional, a complete disregard of someone's boundaries.. And they are super aware of their own boundaries. So there is something a little, or a lot, off there.
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Anonymous49105
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,909
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#9
The P/A behavior I lived with for 33 years was the way my NOW ex-H would tell you he was going to do something I asked him to do just to shut me up when he had NO intention of doing it in the first place.
My friend will just make comments that can be taken many ways that doesn't sound aggressive until you read between the lines.....like "glad you could take time away from your busy schedule to spend time with me on my birthday." On the surface it sounds good but is it a complaint that I don't make enough time for her other times? Something the average person wouldn't be able to determine not having been in a friendship relation & knowing past experiences. Even then one really doesn't know what is in their HEART when the comment is made __________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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Fuzzybear
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Fuzzybear
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,909
(SuperPoster!)
19 14.8k hugs
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#10
This article is a pretty good summary of passive aggressive examples
New Health Advisor - New Health Advisor for Daily Health Care. __________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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Fuzzybear
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Fuzzybear
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,438
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.4k hugs
given |
#11
Quote:
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,909
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19 14.8k hugs
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#12
I am practicing my P/A behavior.....getting lots of practice lately
I have told this couple living in the barn apartment to ALWAYS close the gate because if my horse gets out of the turnout area I don't want her getting off the farm & LOCK it when they leave & at night. I go check on my horse up there sometimes around 1am just to make sure all is well. I keep finding the gate unlocked after locking it earlier. So after numerous nice requests I have started to passive aggressively LOCK the gate every time I go out of it during the day so if they want out they have to continually unlock it. Lots more has gone on than just this but this is a high priority issue in my life & the safety of my horse. Sometimes finding the PERFECT P/A act can be an interesting challenge After nicely asking people to do the right thing & they keep not doing it....I tend to take the approach....."don't get mad, get even" & make their life more difficult too. Definitely P/A behavior but at times it feels good ( I would just move my horse back to my farm BUT she is thriving up there & has a nice barn to go into in bad weather & cold winter days....want to avoid moving her if possible) __________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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Fuzzybear
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Member
Member Since Jul 2020
Location: UK
Posts: 368
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#13
The best way to deal with these types of people is to remain calm and let it swing. It will pass and as long as you make your point that is what matters most.
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Fuzzybear
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