Husband says I suck at nurturing, and that it's "natural" for women

Prycejosh1987 · Nov 11, 2020 at 12:47 PM

I think you may need to have sex with him, and be more touchy with him. As in hugs and kisses. "Honey hows your day", is seen in films but that works a lot. Relationships are not perfect but they can at least be very good. At least he is honest with you. You simply need to ask him what you can do to improve on it.

sarahsweets · Nov 13, 2020 at 03:14 AM

Hey@Prycejosh:

Quote:

I think you may need to have sex with him, and be more touchy with him. As in hugs and kisses. "Honey hows your day", is seen in films but that works a lot. Relationships are not perfect but they can at least be very good. At least he is honest with you. You simply need to ask him what you can do to improve on it.

How is it her responsibility to have sex with him to solve this issue? He already has views about women that he should reconsider. Thats on him. I do not think the OP needs to have sex with him to appease an outdated ideal.

divine1966 · Nov 13, 2020 at 07:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prycejosh1987

I think you may need to have sex with him, and be more touchy with him. As in hugs and kisses. "Honey hows your day", is seen in films but that works a lot. Relationships are not perfect but they can at least be very good. At least he is honest with you. You simply need to ask him what you can do to improve on it.

I don’t think every issue could be solved by having sex

herbal tea · Nov 13, 2020 at 07:47 AM

It seems to me that your husband wants to change you, but it's wrong. No one can demand from their partner that he should change his character, his desires, his vision of life. Didn't he see what you were like when he started a relationship with you?
It seems to me that he needs a mother, not a wife.
And at the expense of cooking, it's all nonsense. Is it so important in life? It seems to me that it is reasonable that someone who has the opportunity to cook cooks it. And if he also does not want to cook, then order food delivery.
I think he split hairs.

Prycejosh1987 · Dec 10, 2020 at 11:27 AM

Good marriages happen when the two people work at it and support each other and love each other unconditionally.

divine1966 · Dec 10, 2020 at 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prycejosh1987

Good marriages happen when the two people work at it and support each other and love each other unconditionally.

People can only love their children unconditionally. If romantic partner doesn’t treat you right I am sure you aren’t going to stay with them let alone keep loving them. It’s not how it works

eskielover · Dec 16, 2020 at 02:33 PM

A marriage is about partnership NOT nurturing

GuiltyandConfused · Feb 03, 2021 at 07:11 PM

I am in the same boat as you are. Our marriage is on the rocks because of this as well as several more underlying issues. Basically, I am a bad wife and mother. I am not emotionally connected to my husband and kids and is more open and loyal to friends. I have been emotionally neglected as anchild and as my therapist and I have worked out, I can’t nurture when I had no proper “training” to nurture. My husband can’t seem to get this as he also had a bad childhood but came out of it emotionally okay. I am stuck as well and completely relate to how you feel.

Mendingmysoul · Feb 10, 2021 at 10:48 PM

Nurturing is not genderbased.It is a human virtue.Some of us may not have that side to us for different reasons.A marriage counseling may help you guys in making your relationship better.

Rive. · Feb 12, 2021 at 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prycejosh1987

I think you may need to have sex with him, and be more touchy with him. As in hugs and kisses. "Honey hows your day", is seen in films but that works a lot. Relationships are not perfect but they can at least be very good. At least he is honest with you. You simply need to ask him what you can do to improve on it.

What a ridiculous suggestion. HE has a problem and SHE should have sex with him and SHE should ask him how to improve?

How about he acts like a grown-up rather than like a selfish brat & tries to gets his own needs met, rather than someone else catering to all his needs and desires?

guy1111 · Feb 14, 2021 at 12:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GuiltyandConfused

I am in the same boat as you are. Our marriage is on the rocks because of this as well as several more underlying issues. Basically, I am a bad wife and mother. I am not emotionally connected to my husband and kids and is more open and loyal to friends. I have been emotionally neglected as anchild and as my therapist and I have worked out, I can’t nurture when I had no proper “training” to nurture. My husband can’t seem to get this as he also had a bad childhood but came out of it emotionally okay. I am stuck as well and completely relate to how you feel.

Alot of people are raised without a good nurturing role model. It is nothing to be ashamed of. I disagree that it is natural to women just as chivelry is not natural to men. If I lack in a quality my partner desires and they ask politely I will read a book on it and practice it. You can also ask them what specific actions they feel they are missing from the marriage. If they still aren't satisfied, well now I have a new quality about myself and they can go "nurture" themselves.

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Prycejosh1987 Member Member Since Jul 2020 Location: UK Posts: 368 3	Nov 11, 2020 at 12:47 PM #21 I think you may need to have sex with him, and be more touchy with him. As in hugs and kisses. "Honey hows your day", is seen in films but that works a lot. Relationships are not perfect but they can at least be very good. At least he is honest with you. You simply need to ask him what you can do to improve on it.
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Prycejosh1987 Member Member Since Jul 2020 Location: UK Posts: 368 3	Dec 10, 2020 at 11:27 AM #25 Good marriages happen when the two people work at it and support each other and love each other unconditionally.
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eskielover Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Oct 2004 Location: Kentucky, USA Posts: 24,743 (SuperPoster!) 19 14.6k hugs given	Dec 16, 2020 at 02:33 PM #27 A marriage is about partnership NOT nurturing __________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
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Mendingmysoul Grand Member Member Since Aug 2019 Location: Here Posts: 907 4 807 hugs given	Feb 10, 2021 at 10:48 PM #29 Nurturing is not genderbased.It is a human virtue.Some of us may not have that side to us for different reasons.A marriage counseling may help you guys in making your relationship better.
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