Need support through leaving my abusive husband, please

divine1966 · Jan 07, 2021 at 04:29 PM

Yeah staying on the lease after divorce is absolute no no. No wonder your lawyer said no to it. If that even happened. Your husband is probably lying. You suing him won’t work because your credit will be ruined regardless. Yes car might have to be returned to a dealer and he might have to get a different car. How he is going to do it is not your concern. Plenty of people get their own cars. Bankrupt or not.

divine1966 · Jan 07, 2021 at 05:14 PM

Yeah staying on the lease after divorce is absolute no no. No wonder your lawyer said no to it. If that even happened. Your husband is probably lying. You suing him won’t work because your credit will be ruined regardless. Yes car might have to be returned to a dealer and he might have to get a different car. How he is going to do it is not your concern. Plenty of people get their own cars. Bankrupt or not.

Have Hope · Jan 07, 2021 at 05:20 PM

He tried to claim to me today that there is NO way to get my name off the lease and that he cannot refinance the car. I called Honda myself yet AGAIN just after he tells me this. Honda gave me three options: refinance the car through a lender; trade in for another car; or sell the car. The current account needs to be closed in order for my name to come off the lease. Once again he is BSing me, giving me the run around and doesn't want to do any legwork to help. SO I just threatened that IF he does not pursue any of the above options, that I will go to his workplace tomorrow to take the car away and sell it myself.

divine1966 · Jan 07, 2021 at 05:22 PM

Why two posts? Sorry

Have Hope · Jan 07, 2021 at 05:33 PM

he is now putting up ALL sorts of roadblocks on the car lease.

divine1966 · Jan 07, 2021 at 05:33 PM

He is a liar

When my husband got divorced his ex was ordered to take her name off his car. She had nothing to do with a car as she wasn’t even working but she was on there as a second driver. She refused just to be nasty. We were already together and she still had her name on it. My husband had to tell her that he’ll have to get courts involved again as she is in contempt to get her to take her name off. Only then she did

Court will order for him to get your name off

divine1966 · Jan 07, 2021 at 05:35 PM

No court on this planet will demand that divorced ex spouse keeps other person on a car lease

If it cannot be resolved, judge will order for a car to be sold. Courts don’t care what he can’t afford. Not their business or concern.

Have Hope · Jan 07, 2021 at 05:38 PM

I am practically in tears. He is refusing to do any of the possibilities. He wants HIS way and he's going to end up getting his way. I have no choice in the matter, unless I physically took the car from him to sell it.

Have Hope · Jan 07, 2021 at 05:43 PM

And yes, I believe no court will allow this.

divine1966 · Jan 07, 2021 at 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Have Hope

I am practically in tears. He is refusing to do any of the possibilities. He wants HIS way and he's going to end up getting his way. I have no choice in the matter, unless I physically took the car from him to sell it.

You need to talk to your lawyer. See what they say you need to do. Don’t do anything drastic until you talk to a lawyer

eskielover · Jan 07, 2021 at 07:16 PM

He may not do anything until it is a court order & even then he may not but at least then you can hold him in contempt of court. Messy, yes but sometimes it becomes the only way when they are jerks

divine1966 · Jan 07, 2021 at 08:06 PM

Eskie is right. And I can’t believe he claims there is no way to get your name off. What a liar. There are plenty of ways to do that.

eskielover · Jan 07, 2021 at 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

Eskie is right. And I can’t believe he claims there is no way to get your name off. What a liar. There are plenty of ways to do that.

There is no way to get her name off without refinancing it in his name only & maybe he can't qualify alone. Also he may be being a jerk & want to refuse to sell it or turn it in.

My now ex was a jerk when I first tried to file
for divorce when I lived with him in Calif.....everything was "I'm not doing this or not doing that" I gave up & just left him but he did screw me on the house but he screwed himself even more cause he ended up with nothing & I have my beautiful farm thanks to inheritance I wouldn't let him touch.

divine1966 · Jan 08, 2021 at 05:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eskielover

There is no way to get her name off without refinancing it in his name only & maybe he can't qualify alone. Also he may be being a jerk & want to refuse to sell it or turn it in.

My now ex was a jerk when I first tried to file
for divorce when I lived with him in Calif.....everything was "I'm not doing this or not doing that" I gave up & just left him but he did screw me on the house but he screwed himself even more cause he ended up with nothing & I have my beautiful farm thanks to inheritance I wouldn't let him touch.

I know he can’t just take name off but there are other ways to do it like Honda already explained. He might not qualify for good loan but there are lenders who work with people after bankruptcy, he can buy used car, he can ask his brother or friends to co sign. How do other people live? I was single most of my adult life and I survived very well and never even had anyone co-sign anything or share a lease on anything. You drive junk cars until you can afford to finance something nice. And it’s not hopes problem

Have Hope · 08:12 AM

He's just being a stubborn a-s-s. He doesn't want to lift a finger to help me out. Maybe this will come down to a court order.

I honestly cannot deal with this anymore. He's being such an asshole about it.

divine1966 · Jan 08, 2021 at 08:34 AM

I can’t believe he wants you to keep him on a lease after the divorce. That’s unheard of. People do it sometimes if there are young kids to be driven around to help with that but what’s on the planet! He shouldn’t even dream of using EX wife as a co-signer

Have Hope · Jan 08, 2021 at 09:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

I can’t believe he wants you to keep him on a lease after the divorce. That’s unheard of. People do it sometimes if there are young kids to be driven around to help with that but what’s on the planet! He shouldn’t even dream of using EX wife as a co-signer

He wants what he wants. He cares only about himself.

eskielover · Jan 08, 2021 at 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

I know he can’t just take name off but there are other ways to do it like Honda already explained. He might not qualify for good loan but there are lenders who work with people after bankruptcy, he can buy used car, he can ask his brother or friends to co sign. How do other people live? I was single most of my adult life and I survived very well and never even had anyone co-sign anything or share a lease on anything. You drive junk cars until you can afford to finance something nice. And it’s not hopes problem

If he is not willing to do it on his own then the court will have to force him. My now ex was not willing to give up anything we had. Turned out, he lost it all after I was gone & in another state. Some people are so foolish they have to be forced into situations they don't want to be in given their own choosing. That is just how some people are & we end up having to deal with them legally whether we like it or not

divine1966 · Jan 08, 2021 at 11:30 AM

Some people are just asinine. My husband’s ex caused so much trouble. The last stint was to use our address to get auto insurance quotes from different insurance companies when she was technically homeless or living in slums. It was years after their divorce and she knew we were married. She certainly never lived here neither in our place lol or in our area but more so she always lived two-three hours away. She just wanted to use our address because we live in affluent suburbs and insurance is way less than in a bad area. My husband had panic attack when we found out

Don’t mean to hijack but some people are just unbelievable. They don’t want to give up meal ticket so they cause problems to their exes.

Have Hope · Jan 08, 2021 at 12:12 PM

He is still arguing with me over leaving him. He's going to be a pain in the *** to divorce. He trying to now blame me for hating him, for not wanting anything to do with him, for my anger at him, for not trusting him, and for not trying. Of course I am to blame. Now it's all my fault. Of course.

Menu

My Support Forums - Mental Health Support Groups

Get emotional support and friendship from others like you!

Need support through leaving my abusive husband, please

My Support Forums

divine1966 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2014 Location: US Posts: 22,386 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,277 hugs given	Jan 07, 2021 at 05:22 PM #344 Why two posts? Sorry
	Reply With Quote

Have Hope Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2017 Location: Eastern, USA Posts: 9,094 (SuperPoster!) 6 3,628 hugs given	Jan 07, 2021 at 05:33 PM #345 he is now putting up ALL sorts of roadblocks on the car lease. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes
	Reply With Quote

divine1966 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2014 Location: US Posts: 22,386 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,277 hugs given	Jan 07, 2021 at 05:35 PM #347 No court on this planet will demand that divorced ex spouse keeps other person on a car lease If it cannot be resolved, judge will order for a car to be sold. Courts don’t care what he can’t afford. Not their business or concern.
	Reply With Quote

Have Hope Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2017 Location: Eastern, USA Posts: 9,094 (SuperPoster!) 6 3,628 hugs given	Jan 07, 2021 at 05:38 PM #348 I am practically in tears. He is refusing to do any of the possibilities. He wants HIS way and he's going to end up getting his way. I have no choice in the matter, unless I physically took the car from him to sell it. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes
	Reply With Quote

Have Hope Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2017 Location: Eastern, USA Posts: 9,094 (SuperPoster!) 6 3,628 hugs given	Jan 07, 2021 at 05:43 PM #349 And yes, I believe no court will allow this. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes
	Reply With Quote

divine1966 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2014 Location: US Posts: 22,386 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,277 hugs given	Jan 07, 2021 at 08:06 PM #352 Eskie is right. And I can’t believe he claims there is no way to get your name off. What a liar. There are plenty of ways to do that.
	Reply With Quote

divine1966 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2014 Location: US Posts: 22,386 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,277 hugs given	Jan 08, 2021 at 08:34 AM #356 I can’t believe he wants you to keep him on a lease after the divorce. That’s unheard of. People do it sometimes if there are young kids to be driven around to help with that but what’s on the planet! He shouldn’t even dream of using EX wife as a co-signer
	Reply With Quote