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Anonymous42048
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#1
I'm quitting my therapy. This entire “turning over a new leaf” was a waste of time and energy! I spent one solid year working very hard on opening up and socializing. I thought I managed to connect to others, people started to show me sympathy, but the only thing I liked about it was admiration and attention I’ve been given in the meantime (as ALWAYS). Those are the only two things that spark life inside of me. I couldn’t care less about people’s sincere sympathy. I met good people who treated me better than I could imagine. I have nothing against them. It’s just meaningless to me. I’m done.
Thanks to some of you who replied to my previous messages. It was the first time I had ever spoken about my problems “in public”. Your input actually meant something, I’ve learnt a lot. |
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#2
Dear @MisterPaul, I'm sorry about your therapy, but please don't give up on the Forums yet. This is a really hard time for everyone. Hardly anyone is their best selves right now. You need what many of us need. Things are going to be better. Please hang with us, & make friends with people that you can relate to. It takes a little bit of time & then you begin to feel at home. Wait & see; ok?
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Purple,Violet,Blue
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EagleTears
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#3
Therapy can only do so much before it starts to becomes ineffective. It's not meant to be a magic spell that will turn us into **normal** human beings. I believe that is part of the illusion with therapy for a lot of folks. If you want to get better.. then it's up to you to figure out which method works for you. Psychologist aren't robots... they're human beings that uses the knowledge that was taught to them.
At least you're honest about yourself, and you've actually done something to try to fix the issue instead of ignoring it. |
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divine1966
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#5
We all like attention but I wonder what you mean re admiration. So you said you enjoy admiration. People show you admiration. In what way do people admire you? Like some kind of unique accomplishment? I’ve met few people in life who admire me but not like whole bunch at all and I am twice your age. What is that you do that warrants massive admiration?
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Purple,Violet,Blue
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Anonymous42048
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#6
Quote:
What I meant is that it's just very easy for me to make great first impression on people. They tend to listen to me, I hear lots of (often unwanted) compliments, and very often I notice individuals listening very carefully to what I say, watching their words as they respond. Also people open up to me very quickly, ask for advice, etc.. It happens pretty much everytime when I meet someone new. Maybe I pick the wrong word.. I meant very warm approval. To a dropout like myself it feels like admiration. Why do you ask? |
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greentires4me
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#7
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Therapy is all about fullfilling goals and sometimes it runs it course. __________________ Love, Light and Happiness!!! |
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Purple,Violet,Blue
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Have Hope
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#8
I'm sorry that you are quitting therapy. Seems like admiration and attention are what you want and seek the most. It's disheartening - my husband promised he would go to therapy himself, but this gives me no hope that he ever would gain anything out of it.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
Purple,Violet,Blue
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Anonymous42048
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#9
It is what it is. You can't make your relationships work if you feel absolutely nothing about them (my story). Maybe your husband was one step further than me as he put so much effort to get you back? Maybe he could get better if he cares enough? We're not the same people.
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Purple,Violet,Blue
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Have Hope
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Have Hope
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#10
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__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Purple,Violet,Blue
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Anonymous42048
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#11
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I honestly don't buy others' sympathy. I'm not "into" vulnerability and I think I'm gonna have to erase all that I did in the past year. |
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Breaking Dawn, Purple,Violet,Blue
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Open Eyes
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#12
Often when a person was picked on or their ego was injured when they were younger the last thing desired is to be vulnerable. Part of the person's desire is that of power as that is what that person feels will finally heal that powerlessness they experienced when their ego was badly injured.
There is a huge desire to remedy whatever kind of abandonment was suffered in one's past. This means that in order to maintain "self" when there is some kind of abandonment threat is to make sure that self is the one that comes out the victor. It's not unusual for a narcissist to give up on therapy, that is unless the therapist becomes a source of feed for them, that would make the effort interesting for some narcissists depending upon what satisfies their ego. What you distain in others is their willingness to be vulnerable which is something you simply do not allow yourself to be. When it comes to narcissism there is definitely a spectrum and it isn't diagnosed as a disorder of NPD until the individual shows extreme desire of distain to being vulnerable. Instead it's considered a true weakness to allow self to be vulnerable. No, instead it's safer to be the one who condemns and discards. Perhaps, if the injury has this extreme challenge therapy would be more helpful to help self to understand it better in order to live their life in the content of traveling the road that best suits them. This often means traveling the road alone with a better understanding how that's the best road to travel for you. This can be the route many take, not just narcissists. It's not a crime to travel through life solo. Last edited by Open Eyes; Jan 04, 2021 at 01:03 PM.. |
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Anonymous42048
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#13
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Breaking Dawn, Open Eyes, Purple,Violet,Blue
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Open Eyes
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#14
Yes you are still young yet so you have time to explore and grow as a person. You can learn skills to avoid the typical pitfalls that this PD can be challenged by. You can learn skills and learn to overcome your challenge with discomfort with being vulnerable
Perhaps it would help if you see if there are books geared toward healing and growing dispite the challenge. |
Breaking Dawn, Purple,Violet,Blue
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Open Eyes
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#15
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You don't need to go back and fix whatever you did, try to let it lay as is. |
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Purple,Violet,Blue
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#16
I'm sorry.... which is probably not at all helpful. I am not here but I wish you my best.
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#18
Not at all. I mean I don't really want to be here (not about you at all)
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Purple,Violet,Blue
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Open Eyes
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#20
@MisterPaul yes what do you have to go back and change in what you did this last year?
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