advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
splion
Junior Member
splion has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Ontario
Posts: 18
5 yr Member
2 hugs
given
Default Jan 06, 2021 at 09:00 PM
  #1
Why do some of us end up alone? Is it just fate?

I do the right thing. I work, I take care of my elderly neighbors. I lived with and took care of my grandmother who was legally blind for 3 years before she died at age 92. I have a good job that required 8 years of training. I don't harm people. I provide volunteer medical care in Africa. I've been looking for a real relationship since I was in my 20s.

I really thought that if I did the right thing, I'd find someone. Not that it would be some sort of reward provided by fate, just that it would work out for me the same way that it worked out for all of the people around me. We'd have a good relationship and have kids. I'd have a family and a purpose.

At this point, I realize that I need to come to terms with the fact that none of that is going to happen. I'm old.
splion is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bharani1008, mrsselig, Open Eyes

advertisement
Open Eyes
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Open Eyes's Avatar
Open Eyes Not a Unicorn, just another horse
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,093 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
21.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 06, 2021 at 09:30 PM
  #2
How old are you splion?
Open Eyes is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous42048
Guest
Anonymous42048 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jan 07, 2021 at 04:11 AM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by splion View Post
I've been looking for a real relationship since I was in my 20s.
What were you doing, exactly? Sometimes people get it all wrong and don't even notice it (my case few years back). Please describe.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,619 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 07, 2021 at 04:29 AM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by splion View Post
Why do some of us end up alone? Is it just fate?

I do the right thing. I work, I take care of my elderly neighbors. I lived with and took care of my grandmother who was legally blind for 3 years before she died at age 92. I have a good job that required 8 years of training. I don't harm people. I provide volunteer medical care in Africa. I've been looking for a real relationship since I was in my 20s.

I really thought that if I did the right thing, I'd find someone. Not that it would be some sort of reward provided by fate, just that it would work out for me the same way that it worked out for all of the people around me. We'd have a good relationship and have kids. I'd have a family and a purpose.

At this point, I realize that I need to come to terms with the fact that none of that is going to happen. I'm old.
How have you been trying to meet people all these years? People who find someone proactively put themselves out there in multiple ways to find a partner. Have you been dating? Have you been trying to meet people? Just because you're alone now, doesn't mean it has to be forever. Things can change, but you have to put yourself out there, and not just think or believe because you've done all the right things, that someone will show up for you.

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes

Last edited by Have Hope; Jan 07, 2021 at 05:07 AM..
Have Hope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Rive.
Rive.
Magnate
Rive. has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,002
10 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 07, 2021 at 11:26 AM
  #5
Sometimes (often) life id unfair. We may do the 'right' things but it still doesn't work out.

If that's what you want, keep trying and keep putting yourself out there.
Rive. is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous42048
Guest
Anonymous42048 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jan 07, 2021 at 11:37 AM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rive. View Post
Sometimes (often) life id unfair. We may do the 'right' things but it still doesn't work out.

If that's what you want, keep trying and keep putting yourself out there.
100% true. You don't get in life what you want. You get in life what you are. Hope and expectations are for beggers.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Hiker2019
Hiker2019
Junior Member
 
Hiker2019's Avatar
Hiker2019 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2019
Location: wa
Posts: 18
3 yr Member
3 hugs
given
Default Jan 10, 2021 at 03:36 AM
  #7
If it helps any, I've been in 3 long-ish term relationships. Engaged once. No kids. And recently realizing my current partner is not the one for me. So I'm about to be single (again) in my 40s. I have a career I love too but seem to pick the wrong relationships. 🤷*♀️ sounds like we both need some hardy manifestation action soon.
Hiker2019 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:39 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.