Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Actually, this is more recent as I had never talked about psych diagnoses before. This has been something different therapists talked about with me as well as told me to read about as well. Also, it is not unusual that in interacting with another person, that other person needs to have things simplified too. I did develop a habit of that due to working with not only children but adults where I have had to simplify as much as possible to get cooperation. Ironically, I just had to have that same kind of conversation with a potential client just a few minutes ago on the phone. However, now that you pointed that out, I have been married to someone for forty years that has ADHD and I have had to learn how to be quick and simple as there is not enough patience for anything too indepth. And when I say that about him I am not saying "all who have X are" either. Yet, I have had to learn about it so I can be more patient with what it means that has challenged me.

Your input provides some food for thought and something I will try to be more conscious about. I think at this point I will bow out as I don't think my input is very helpful at this point. I should have kept it much shorter and left long before this. I need to remember that, sorry. TBH, have not been doing all that well myself Rose, have not shared anywhere about it either.

Originally Posted by Que Sera Sera

thank you .. i gotta admit i pat myself on the back every once in s while myself..
i got an odd twist to add to all this in that i actually am thankful for how my mom did raise me... i feel in many ways im better off because of it..
i am able to entertain myself in an infinat variety of ways all day, every day 24/7 365
i am self supportive, self sufficient, self sustainable.
im resourceful, creative, inventive. im open, honest, realiable, truthful, dependable and trustworthy. i am (when the mood strikes me) i am a self starter, able to self manage my own work and complete projects all by myself. if im a team leader im a hands on, working side by side with my team.
i am very tenacious attitude and i will not let up until the matter is taken care of properly.
i am outspoken and speak up when something is all wrong and needs to be corrected..
i admitt to my mistakes and take on full responsibility to correct it.
i will give all ive got to give & reach out to every resource available to rally up to pitch in & help out a worthy cause.
as just now i reread whats here .. the thought struck me that maybe in a subconscious way.. it all does trace back to the mom deal after all. perhaps i am the way i am because i am trying to
a: compensate for all my mom did not do
b: make amends as way of pay her share for the damages she didnt pay herself at the time she should have
c: put extra effort into doing my part now to show that her wrongs are being set right to "clear her name"
d: as a token of gratitude add extra effort for pay back the interest for cost lost in lack of her share
e: and quite frankly .. to give me a touche as a satisfaction to 1 up her

Originally Posted by Que Sera Sera

my mom ... humph ... real piece of work.. mean alcoholic, very bitter. she made no bones about letting me know she dispised me.. loathed me and wanted nothing to do with me from the start. told me once all the nitty gritty details about how she had tried to do a "self abortion" to get rid of me before she had me.
i have quite a few vivid childhood memories which i will spare you all but this one heres a pretty good example ..
this one ive got pegged down puts me somewhere around 7 yrs old ....coloring book and box of crayons in my hand i went to "mommy" and asked her to color with me .. she grabbed the crayons and color book out of my hands.. dumped the entire box of crayons out on the table slammed the book open to a random page grabbed a crayon (it was yellow btw) just scribbled gibberish on the page picked the book up flung it at me and said "there, is that good enough for you.. i colored".. she got up.. began to storm out. stopped turned around screamed at me to pick up my gd mess, get back in your room where you belong and leave me the h#!+ alone.
the reason i brought that up here is to offer my take on the question of children and parents and how they end up either opposites or identical..
i knew very very very early on i was never going to have children of my own. i knew that i had no business being a mom whos responsible to raising a child. i did not have a good role model & as much as id like to make my self believe iwould not be my mom i knew i could not trust my own self enough to take the risk of the chance that i would not be the mom my mom was to me. i am not equipped to wing it on my own and it would not be fair at all to try and raise a kid when i had no idea how the heck i was doing & no clue how i was supose to figure out what to do.
as time has gone by & ive gotten to know more about how my own nature was turning out ive run the thought thru about maybe i could give it a go after all, but, to this day where i am now well past my childbearing age ... i still do not trust myself enough to feel it be safe for me to be a mom.
the person as a person i am .. i do have my "mom moments" where i turn right into her. a couple of times on a few occasions people who knew my mom have witnessed it and even they mentioned seeing the "mom mimic" right then. i am very aware of it in me and i have put a ton of effort into stopping myself the instant i see myself becoming her. snippy sarcasm, bits of bitter, snooty selfrichious.. the bad stuff is the only her i have in me . there was no good traits for me to carry so.. ..all my good, is all me!
although im not sure opposite is the word i use to describe our differences but... ive always made it my # 1 point too priority .. to NOT be the type of person my mom was. its not a matter of i counter her greed with my generosity type of thing but i found her to be a rather offensive person ... and that is NOT how i want people to feel about me.
its not about do exact opposite of her its more like do it any way EXCEPT her way.

Originally Posted by Que Sera Sera

thank you .. i gotta admit i pat myself on the back every once in s while myself..
i got an odd twist to add to all this in that i actually am thankful for how my mom did raise me... i feel in many ways im better off because of it..
i am able to entertain myself in an infinat variety of ways all day, every day 24/7 365
i am self supportive, self sufficient, self sustainable.
im resourceful, creative, inventive. im open, honest, realiable, truthful, dependable and trustworthy. i am (when the mood strikes me) i am a self starter, able to self manage my own work and complete projects all by myself. if im a team leader im a hands on, working side by side with my team.
i am very tenacious attitude and i will not let up until the matter is taken care of properly.
i am outspoken and speak up when something is all wrong and needs to be corrected..
i admitt to my mistakes and take on full responsibility to correct it.
i will give all ive got to give & reach out to every resource available to rally up to pitch in & help out a worthy cause.
as just now i reread whats here .. the thought struck me that maybe in a subconscious way.. it all does trace back to the mom deal after all. perhaps i am the way i am because i am trying to
a: compensate for all my mom did not do
b: make amends as way of pay her share for the damages she didnt pay herself at the time she should have
c: put extra effort into doing my part now to show that her wrongs are being set right to "clear her name"
d: as a token of gratitude add extra effort for pay back the interest for cost lost in lack of her share
e: and quite frankly .. to give me a touche as a satisfaction to 1 up her