[*Beth*]

Does anyone have a significant person in your life who discourages you from, or looks down on you for, taking needed psychiatric medication? How do you handle it?

[Yaowen]

Dear BethRags,

I used to have people in my life like that. What helped me was giving them copies of scholarly works on my illness. Some of the people involved finally became more understanding. Others were sort of hardened in their opinions and immovable. My life has been saved by medications. They have not only extended the duration of my life but have also vastly improved my quality of life.

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen

[*Beth*]

Thank you for your thoughtful and helpful reply, Yaowen. I am grateful!

[divine1966]

I am sorry if this isn’t helpful but do they need to know if and what you take?

[Molinit]

Your opinion is the only one that counts. If YOU feel it helps YOU, then anyone who discourages or looks down on you probably needs to be cut out of your life or at the very least you should have minimal contact and NO discussion of mental illness or treatments at all. That should be your boundary if you must have them in your life.

[*Beth*]

Well, the person is my husband of 35 years. He sees my need for medication (actually, any med, not only psych meds) as some sort of weakness. To him prayer is the way to solve physical and psychiatric problems. He has OCD and severe anxiety, and ADHD that all but destroys his life, but flatly refuses medication for his issues. He refuses to believe that they are medical conditions; he believes that prayer and changing his thoughts are the way to heal himself (unfortunately, he's using sick thoughts to "heal" sick thoughts).

So fine, he can believe what he wants to - but it leaves me feeling very alone, knowing that in his eyes I am "defective." I envy people who have a husband that is a support person.

[Molinit]

Since it's unlikely that he'll change his mind, I would not discuss any medical issue with him, refuse to answer questions and frankly, life is short and too short to spend it with someone who views you as "defective." You've put enough time into the marriage to have earned a decent settlement of retirement accounts, perhaps ongoing financial support. I'd see an attorney to at least know what my outcome would be if I divorced him.

[*Beth*]

Thanks very much for the support and advice. I definitely refrain from discussing any medical issues with him. He's brainwashed himself (for many years) with some dopey New Age belief system that, imo, he's taken way too seriously. My husband has a dread fear of ANYTHING medical and uses the belief system he has to entirely avoid doctors...unless he's desperately in need of one, of course. Then he's the first one to scream and moan about how sick he is.

He's a veteran, so I actually receive money for being married to him. Fortunately, I did wise up some years ago and moved out on my own. Frankly, couldn't avoid it...his OCD causes him to hoard and there was literally no room for me in the house. Still, he's my husband, our kids' dad.


Anyway, I didn't mean to turn this into a vent. Just wondering if anyone else is in a similar situation...someone close who has a relgious/spiritual belief that discourages medical care...and, if so, how s/he handles such a dilemma.