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Default Jan 16, 2021 at 06:32 PM
  #21
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Originally Posted by Have Hope View Post
Are you listening to HIM say this to you? IF so, don't pay heed to his false accusations. Pay attention to how YOU feel, HIS behavior towards you and the fact that you always end up empty handed. It's not your fault. Not one bit. This is all on him. Please don't blame yourself for HIS poor behavior.
thx I just get confused and second guess myself. I sent too many texts etc but it was because he flaked out then rationalizes it and turns the tables. Even went as far as to say he got opinions from friends. His friends hearing one side of the story no less. There are 3 sides. And his older brother and his other good friend have defended me in front of him also. My gut feeling just tells me I’m not “bugn” like he says. It’s always I’m bugn or chill out or something. He’s got a real street mentality I hate to say it.
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Default Jan 16, 2021 at 07:15 PM
  #22
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thx I just get confused and second guess myself. I sent too many texts etc but it was because he flaked out then rationalizes it and turns the tables. Even went as far as to say he got opinions from friends. His friends hearing one side of the story no less. There are 3 sides. And his older brother and his other good friend have defended me in front of him also. My gut feeling just tells me I’m not “bugn” like he says. It’s always I’m bugn or chill out or something. He’s got a real street mentality I hate to say it.
Perhaps it would help if you read about unhealthy vs healthy relationship dynamics and behavior so that you distinctly know the difference. Or perhaps read about toxic behaviors. Then you can identify his behaviors more easily as being toxic. He sounds like he is gaslighting you by turning the tables around on you, which is actually an abuse tactic.

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Default Jan 16, 2021 at 08:15 PM
  #23
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I always think it’s my fault and blame myself.
It doesn’t matter whose fault is this. Are you happy with this guy? If yes then it’s all good. If not, get out and don’t go back. It doesn’t matter who is to blame. Life is too short to be unhappy
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Default Jan 16, 2021 at 09:14 PM
  #24
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Perhaps it would help if you read about unhealthy vs healthy relationship dynamics and behavior so that you distinctly know the difference. Or perhaps read about toxic behaviors. Then you can identify his behaviors more easily as being toxic. He sounds like he is gaslighting you by turning the tables around on you, which is actually an abuse tactic.
oh yes, I remember all the gaslighting tactics abusers do, but I forgot about it...and he’s protecting his energy and boundaries 🙄🙄
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Default Jan 16, 2021 at 09:15 PM
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and he’s protecting his energy and boundaries 🙄🙄
As must you, my dear. Protect your OWN energy and boundaries.

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Default Jan 16, 2021 at 09:17 PM
  #26
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Perhaps it would help if you read about unhealthy vs healthy relationship dynamics and behavior so that you distinctly know the difference. Or perhaps read about toxic behaviors. Then you can identify his behaviors more easily as being toxic. He sounds like he is gaslighting you by turning the tables around on you, which is actually an abuse tactic.
this hit the nail on the head omg 10 Warning Signs of Gaslighting - YouTube
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Thanks for this!
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Default Jan 16, 2021 at 09:27 PM
  #27
Sorry. I feel for you, Gymgirl71
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