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Rincewind
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Default Jan 19, 2021 at 05:10 AM
  #1
So I've been trying my luck with online dating for about 2 years now. And the result is basically... nothing. I don't even remember when I had an interesting conversation that didn't stop after a couple of messages. I hoped to cope this way with isolation during the lockdown, but I had even worse luck.

Now I have an idea and I need your advice. I thought about finding some attractive male model and creating a Tinder profile using his photos. Of course, this is extremely unfair to the girls looking for their soulmate, so I'll include the note that I'm only looking for platonic friendship (this still sounds very slimy and I'm acutely aware of this fact).

Perhaps, this will help me better cope with loneliness and isolation. Or it could ruin any conversation I'd have because I'll be aware that the only reason they'd want to talk to me is my no-existent looks. And if this profile becomes much more popular than my real profile it will also ruin my self-esteem (which I heard is a good thing as inflated self-esteem is the cause of all suffering).

So what do you think, is this a good or a terrible idea?

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RoxanneToto
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Default Jan 19, 2021 at 06:31 AM
  #2
Terrible idea, for all the reasons you mentioned and more.
What if you did develop a great online relationship (platonic or otherwise) with someone, and they proposed a real life meeting in the future (I mean after getting to know you and, hypothetically, the pandemic being over or contained enough that meeting would be allowed)? Would you come clean knowing they’d likely be upset you lied, or ghost them?
I used to talk to someone who lied about his age when he had no reason to. It shocked me a bit, while it didn’t end our friendship on the spot it did make me pull away from him and things fizzled out after that. It was disappointing because we’d been getting on well until then and I find making friends quite hard in the first place.
If you feel it’s slimy to say you’re only looking for friendship when you want more, you could add something like “seeking friendship with a view to a relationship” (or however you’d like to word it). That way you’re covering both bases, so to speak.
The best partners are the kind of people you’d be friends with if you weren’t dating them, anyway.
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Thanks for this!
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Default Jan 19, 2021 at 06:52 AM
  #3
Terrible idea that's gonna make you feel pathetic and at the same time will destroy your self-esteem. Don't allow yourself to do something that low!
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divine1966
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Default Jan 19, 2021 at 07:55 AM
  #4
Using other people’s pictures and pretend it is you falling into a category of identity theft. You pretend they are you, that’s not legal. It could get you in trouble

Maybe you should reconsider tinder. It’s a hook up site. No one is looking for soulmates on there
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Thanks for this!
Rincewind
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Default Jan 19, 2021 at 10:05 AM
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So, you want to start a relationship on a lie & and you think this is a good idea?
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Default Jan 20, 2021 at 01:24 AM
  #6
Very poor idea.
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Rincewind
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Default Jan 20, 2021 at 02:50 PM
  #7
Thank you for the answers, you convinced me it's a bad idea. The slimy thing about this thing isn't about starting a relationship with a lie (relationships are impossible for me, anyway). It's that a girl might develop feelings toward a person that doesn't really exist even if I explicitly told them I only want friendship. And leading them on is pretty unethical as both men and women can sometimes ignore all the red flags if the person is beautiful enough. divine1966, pretty sure I would be safe from identity theft charges. Although sexting is technically the same in my country as distributing pornography and there were cases of girls going to prison for sending nudes to their boyfriends (the law is based on an international convention ratified in 1924 which is absolutely ridiculous). Oh, and COVID definitely won't get under control here until 2024. Have fun

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Default Jan 20, 2021 at 03:11 PM
  #8
i agree with the other wise posters that it is not a good idea. Definitely avoid lying and cheating. It is possible to make Friends without that! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Rincewind, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!
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divine1966
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Default Jan 20, 2021 at 03:27 PM
  #9
I don’t know if you will get in legal trouble or no but I can assure that in the US using someone’s else’s pictures as yours could cause problems IF someone wants to pursue the investigation. I was told so by the police and FBI because I was scammed. It is one of the categories of identity theft. So I very much don’t recommend you do that

If you just want friendship, I’d say dating sites might not be the best for that
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