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TishaBuv
It’s mostly them, and somewhat me.
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,122
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#101
That’s transitioned a long way from first and only to her treating you the way she has. You have a heartbreaking situation and I am sorry this happened to you. Have you gotten a therapist? I would think they’d encourage you to look at the whole, big picture of the history of your relationship to figure out what got you here, and then figure out what to do to live YOUR life from here.
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Grand Magnate
AzulOscuro
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Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
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#102
Quote:
Have you talked with her about couple councelling? You need to be sure that she’s for you because in another way, you are losing your precious time, your energy and your health. I don’t want to see that. What’s your guts telling you? Don’t reply. It’s a question for you alone. __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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Yourself
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Junior Member
jjjjjjj157
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Member Since: Apr 2021
Location: Canada
Posts: 11
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#103
wow, this is quite the situation, there was a past post from someone explaining your rights to the child and another about this likely not being your only chance at a family. If you decide to stay with this person(Myself and many many others would question why in the world??)you have to shore up some legal rights with this child. This would be an already terrible situation gone much worse if you and the child develop an attachment to each other and you are both separated for reasons beyond your control. You seem like your trying to do the right thing here...from your perspective, which may be seriously clouded right now. If you can't get any kind of legal rights I don't see how you can take this massive risk. If you can get legal rights and your sure you want to stay and trust this person then do it and don't look back and listen to people hating for it.
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Poohbah
Werewoman
Is a bit, well...wered.
Member Since: May 2014
Location: Betelgeuse
Posts: 1,472
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#104
@Yourself - Take care of you first and foremost. You only get one life and believe me when I tell you it flies by. Do not waste it on someone who obviously thinks with her girlie bits instead of her brain.
People rarely stay with their first love. We all know that heartbreak that makes you think you'll die without that person in your life. Then one day you meet an even better person and the others become a faded memory. That is my wish for you. WW __________________ You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. ~ Robin Williams Did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? ~ Pink Floyd |
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Arpheus
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Member Since: Apr 2021
Location: Colombia
Posts: 16
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#105
Well that's a rather awful situation.
I'll just say a few things, I apologize if I'm rather direct and blunt. Someone that cheats doesn't really love you in any meaningful way, that's just the way it is. They can make all the excuses possible, cheating is cheating. Someone that cheats isn't an honest, decent or trustworthy person in general. So what is it that you really love about her? by your comments it just sounds like you attached to the first person that would let you. Sorry to say that's not love either, at least in my opinion, that's emotional dependency. It seems a bit obvious by your comments that you're not in a good place in life and that you probably feel that this woman, deceitful and toxic as she likely is, is better than nothing or being alone. Which is clearly not a healthy mindset, I'd even dare to speculate she's outright taking advantage of you as she may know you're emotionally dependent on her and your response to this has only proved that. Sorry to be blunt but I don't think she loves you one bit but the bigger problem is that you also don't love yourself. And until you start doing that then you're unlikely to become the type of person and make the type of choices that will lead you to find someone that actually loves you, not someone that exploits you for their own benefit. |
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Picodeasia, Yourself
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catches the flowers
*Beth*
is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind,
body, spirit.
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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#106
Quote:
Too many generalizations, view too narrow. __________________ |
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Member
Yourself
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Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 43
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#107
For anyone interested, I found out today that she is having a girl.
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*Beth*, AzulOscuro, TishaBuv
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Legendary
TishaBuv
It’s mostly them, and somewhat me.
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,122
(SuperPoster!)
1,857 hugs
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#108
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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*Beth*, AzulOscuro
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Grand Magnate
AzulOscuro
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Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,822
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#109
Yes, how are you going?
__________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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Yourself
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Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 43
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#110
No we haven’t talked much about it and instead of telling me first we just fought so I had to find out by guessing so she would even talk about it.
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Yourself
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Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 43
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#111
I’m very unhappy with my life
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Have Hope
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Member
Yourself
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Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 43
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#112
I’m not trying to scare anyone, but I have a question I would really like an honest answer to despite its subject matter…
I want to be dead. I know I’m probably just being dramatic due to my situation but the more I think about am everything the more I wonder if life is even worth it if we die anyway. Yes I get that experiences are worth it and what you do for others matters but seriously. Why is death not considered an option when literally everything else is an exercise in futility? Im not trying to say I’m so depressed I want to die but rather even at my beat I can’t seem to find an actual reason we live and cling to it so. I don’t know what to think haha and I know I need my meds back soon but all in all I just don’t know… thoughts? And please don’t try to “talk me off the ledge”, I’m not in that kind of crisis I’m just too philosophical. |
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#113
Quote:
Dead's for cowards. |
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Grand Magnate
AzulOscuro
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Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,822
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#114
I keep in life for curiosity and to have my voice heard.
__________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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Yourself
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Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 43
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#115
I’m not looking for a way out I just don’t ultimately see a point, just curious what others thought.
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Wise Elder
Have Hope
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Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
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#116
Quote:
I believe that our soul's life purpose is simply to be happy, and that life is meant to be lived to the fullest extent, to the extent where we DO have control. If you find that you are unhappy in a particular life circumstance, make a change. We can choose to be unhappy and miserable and allow that life circumstance to swallow us whole into an abyss of depression, or we can choose to step out of the circumstance that makes us unhappy, whether that be a relationship, a job, or where we live. It's a choice we can make, and those choices ARE within our control, which means life itself is not futile. Yesterday, I was in the pits of a depression because of my abusive husband and pending divorce. Today, I woke up and feel very different. I am ending this abusive marriage, I am leaving it, and I am choosing a new path, a different path, that will lead to far greater happiness. Now I could have stayed in this marriage out of fear and by thinking I will never be happy again because I will be single at the age of 50. I could have chosen to stay, thinking what's the point of an upheaval at my age? I will die at some point and sooner than later given my age. But no, my thoughts are instead that I can create a brand new life, full of new friends, activities that I enjoy and hobbies and interests. I am excited for my new life to begin. It's a choice I am making. I was miserable in my marriage, and now I am choosing to be happy and single again. So, no not everything is futile. We always have a choice to make our life as we want it to be. We are the creators of our own destiny. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes Last edited by Have Hope; Apr 29, 2021 at 06:19 AM.. |
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Legendary
TishaBuv
It’s mostly them, and somewhat me.
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,122
(SuperPoster!)
1,857 hugs
given |
#117
Depression’s a bytch. You are questioning life itself because you are in such a disparaging situation. I believe some people suffer from a depression that is not due to a situation and must be biological, but I know of your situation so I mention that as a cause for your questioning the point of living. Someone who is not severely depressed has enjoyment in some things at the very least and feels good to be feeling some pleasure.
We could get into a philosophical discussion about what we think is life’s purpose, but no one knows. Who knows if living even has a purpose? But we are here, so I say just go with it. Do you best to make it a good life. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Wise Elder
Have Hope
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Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
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#118
People have to create their own purpose for living - it's very individualized. I stated what mine is: which is to live life to the fullest and to be happy.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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