FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,089
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,627 hugs
given |
#21
Quote:
The two people who ghosted me were not emotionally well. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
|
Reply With Quote |
Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,089
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,627 hugs
given |
#22
I can’t seem to do that very easily.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
Reply With Quote |
Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
9 1,758 hugs
given |
#23
Quote:
On another side, I think that if it’s supposed that online people feel more daring to be themselves, they, by disappearing, are making you a favour. You know where they are coming from and you won’t be wasting your time with them, anymore. The key is to know which situation we are treating here. I assure you that there are people who are so genuine online as off line so I wouldn’t embrace these bad experiences. I would take it into account for the future in order to consider who I can trust as a friend and take more time with them since the conditions are different to the contact you can have with them irl but out of that I wouldn’t do much difference. But, this is my personal view, only. I know there are people who make boundaries and clear separation between both worlds. __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
|
Reply With Quote |
Have Hope
|
Discombobulated
|
Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,089
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,627 hugs
given |
#24
YES - this. Both people who ghosted me were not emotionally well. Another female who has been very unresponsive to me, taking days and over a week to reply to me, also is not emotionally well. She also is BPD. I dropped her from my Skype just yesterday.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes Last edited by Have Hope; Jan 27, 2021 at 07:01 AM.. |
Reply With Quote |
Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
8 199 hugs
given |
#25
Quote:
Last edited by rdgrad15; Jan 27, 2021 at 07:46 AM.. |
|
Reply With Quote |
Have Hope
|
Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,089
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,627 hugs
given |
#26
Quote:
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
|
Reply With Quote |
rdgrad15
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#27
What do you talk about?
I have two friends that suffer from depression and they pretty much always ghost me. It's not on me though, they're just not into talking. |
Reply With Quote |
Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
8 199 hugs
given |
#28
Quote:
|
|
Reply With Quote |
Have Hope
|
Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,089
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,627 hugs
given |
#29
The two friends that ghosted me - we talked about everything. Work, relationships, our problems and life in general. I. had deep, meaningful and ongoing conversations with both individuals.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
Reply With Quote |
Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
8 199 hugs
given |
#30
|
Reply With Quote |
Have Hope
|
Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,089
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,627 hugs
given |
#31
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
Reply With Quote |
Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 4,692
(SuperPoster!)
4 11.6k hugs
given |
#32
I can relate. I got ghosted a few times by people I met on here, back when I had my other username. I found it quite triggering although I understood that it was because of the issues people were facing I still felt hurt because these were people I felt fondness for. I was left feeling "what happened?"
In my case I was feeling vulnerable through other issues in my life, so I left here a while, came back and set different boundaries with myself. I don't correspond personally with anyone here, only on board messages. I do have a couple of wonderful women I have written personally to from here for many years now and they are my exceptions. So I don't dismiss online friendship at all but for me I am now very cautious and circumspect I guess. I agree ghosting online is a feature of modern life, maybe we are generally tending to be more impersonal like that with technology I don't know. My main lesson learned was my personal boundaries needed to be set and I personally benefited from this, I also tend to take a very long time to open up and trust someone but thats okay too. Generally though I am trying to invest more time into in person friendships, apart from my two long time PC friends. |
Reply With Quote |
Have Hope
|
Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
9 1,758 hugs
given |
#33
I see this topic as a very juicy one.
People who are behind the screens are flesh and blood people, as we are. Only online things seems to go faster than in face to face connections. You can connect them instantaneously and for a long period of time, almost daily. So this is why it may be easier to let you drive and anything seems even more authentic and deep than irl. This is why predators find their perfect hunt ground on the net linked to the possibility of anonymity, with innocent people such as kids or adolescents. But, also with old generations such as mine one who are not still used to this stuff. The other great difference is social barriers. One can show himself with much more freedom online and this is where the evil or the magic could happens. For example, in my case, I find easier to meet and know someone on line because I feel less anxious and I can choose the pace. I can be a better version of myself without all those fears and anxiety. I can go little by little. Showing myself up to a point I feel comfortable with. But, what happens if a person fakes a persona to get his own agenda and take advantages of your ingenuity. Here’s the problem. Just like the real life, only with its own characteristics. Another aspect to take into account is that if we connect with people from mental health forums, we are gonna find people like us, who struggle day on and day off with their issues. Example, I find so hard to speak on the phone with someone from my irl than from someone I only know online. And if I’m feeling depressed I won’t probably have the energy to share with my online contacts in the same way I lack of energy to deal with my irl contacts. It’s natural that you ask why they ghosted you. But take the assumption that online contacts are evil per se is unfair. __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
Reply With Quote |
Have Hope
|
Discombobulated
|
Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,089
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,627 hugs
given |
#34
I don't have the belief that online relationships are evil. They're just very different than IRL relationships and ghosting seems to be common.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
Reply With Quote |
Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
9 1,758 hugs
given |
#35
Different but not in the essential. They may be very genuine.
You didn’t call them evil but you said you were done. ??? __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
Reply With Quote |
Have Hope
|
Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
9 1,758 hugs
given |
#36
__________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
Reply With Quote |
Have Hope
|
Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,089
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,627 hugs
given |
#37
Yes, I am done... I do believe. I've found online friendships over the years to just not be very genuine or very real. I did feel bad and very disappointed.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
Reply With Quote |
Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
9 1,758 hugs
given |
#38
It’s ok. It’s a choice. Maybe you didn’t find the right people to connect with. It happens as irl.
You said that you have big expectations. Here, it may be the problem. Friends are not perfect, so we aren’t. Could it be that you had any hand on it? I ask you because when a relationship I have is not working, I also look at myself. To see if there’s something I can do better. __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
Reply With Quote |
Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,089
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,627 hugs
given |
#39
I do not know exactly why the two people ghosted me. I have already explained that they were not emotionally well people who had a lot of problems. I don't believe it is me. I think it's them.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
Reply With Quote |
AzulOscuro
|
Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
9 1,758 hugs
given |
#40
Quote:
Believe me, it’s worthy. I can be very difficult in relationships, you can’t guess up to what point. Due to many factors, my insecurities, my own lack of emotional control in which I’m working on currently. It’s always valuable to have the other’s perspective and be attentive to the patterns. I can’t believe all your online experiences were a failure. ???? __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
|
Reply With Quote |
Reply |
|