I don't see myself getting married

Yeah, I'm glad I never felt that sort of pressure. I guess some women do. Had I gotten married earlier due to pressure or feeling it was something I was supposed to do, I would have ended up divorced.

A boyfriend in college wanted to discuss marriage and I told him I was not even thinking about getting married at that age. We broke up and he got married about 6 months later. He ended up divorced and then married wife number two when the ink on the divorce papers was barely dry. I guess it's not just women, some men feel they have to be married too.

My first reflex was to criticize the "man bashing" going on after reading a select few of the posts, but I realize that many married women have two jobs...bringing home a paycheck, AND doing work at home with little help. Not that I wouldn't help around the house if I had a ring on my finger but, again, cohabitating with my partner for 18 years has worked for us. If we stop being satisfied with our relationship we can abandon ship without aid of the state, or enriching lawyers.

It sounds like laws where you are are rooted in the past, Rechu. It's a shame your husband's estranged mother might have claim to your husband's possessions if something were to happen to him. Not to suggest that you mind being married...

Historically, like thousands or tens of thousands of years ago (or maybe still today in some parts) marriage was originally a way to unite clans or communities, families, by basically putting a daughter into the other clan by 'marriage' to a specific man or 'husband' to have babies - new blood for the clan. And it was just as much a political move as anything else. I don't think love had much to do with it - that didn't come till later on in history. So, this 'getting married' idea, is nothing more than a social construct dating back to ancient times, a very old custom. It is. But love, love is a completely different thing. That's all I can say. 🙂

It's all good, but I maybe we would have gone a different route if we hadn't had the inheritance issue. I also have not other next of kin in this country for situations like being hospitalized, so it was good on that front to.


My husband and I own our house 50%/50%. Being married we could decide to do it that way, but if we weren't, it would have to be in one or the other's name. If he dies before his mother, there is insurance that pays off the home loan. However, then the house is sold at an auction and I have to split the proceeds with his mother. It's horrible. If we weren't married, he would have only been allowed to make a will to give me 25%, which would have been worse.

The laws really need to change. If we had children, it would be split between me and the kids, but without children, parents get their part.


His half sister is very greedy and you can be sure that if he predeceases his mother, she will be harassing me and trying to help get his mother get her hooks into everything she can.

Scarily, he actually had a choking incident that was really bad a few months ago. I somehow managed to help him and he was okay. I couldn't imagine losing him like that and then having to deal with his greedy family bothering me while I am grieving. Fortunately, his half siblings won't have any inheritance rights.

I’m so glad you were able to help your husband, rechu. As for the rest of your situation, the law is an ***, as they say!
I’m not trying to man bash either, but the fact is a lot of men are raised to be (or end up) entitled, whether their parents realise, care about it or not. Certainly not all men; I personally know several who have jobs but still share housework/other responsibilities with their wife/partner when they’re at home. Like I said, not all men by any means, but still enough to be an issue.

Why would there be man bashing and marriage gossip on a thread where the OP is struggling to come to terms with going against the norm and not living up to family expectations by not marrying? Why does the OP see messages of deletions on her page? Please, this is not the place to discuss your failed marriages and marriage drama. That's really, truly rude and I don't appreciate that.

Consider this thread deleted.