Valentines Day Sadness and Depression

I feel seriously, deeply and maybe even clinically depressed right now.

Going through a divorce during the entire holiday season has been an absolute nightmare.

And now it's nearly Valentines Day, a day I've been dreading for two weeks, and I am all alone, miserable, sad and depressed.

My soon to be ex husband tried to get me to agree to a dinner for tomorrow night - on Valentines. I turned him down. I don't want to give him false hopes or mixed messages, even though we've both leaned on each other this week for emotional support.

He was also going to stop by to give me flowers today to cheer me up, and I told him once again, look... I am not going to change my mind about a divorce. So he's not coming over to give me flowers now. I actually really wanted him to - I wanted to feel something other than this heavy blanket of depression and loneliness, but I knew if I said yes I would be giving him false hope.

So any words of comfort anyone can provide? The only thing I request and ask is to not downplay Valentines Day right now - for me, it's an important and meaningful day. And in light of my marriage, it's in fact the third year anniversary of when we first met and started dating. That alone is depressing me too.

i am So Sorry you're going through all of this. Certainly being alone during Holidays like this can be hard. i don't have a lot of advice to give to you other than trying to distract yourself as much as possible - watch some tv (NOT anything romantic of course) or do anything else that may make you feel better. Do you have friends whom you can spend some time with? Also, i think you did Well by refusing to go out with him. It may be painful right now but since the relationship is over it is better to just avoid contact with him at least for a while, unless you're interested in making things work out again. In any case, i am Wishing you ALL the Best! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Have Hope, your Family, your Friends, your ex-Husband and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

The only consolation is that many people are really struggling now. If it’s not one thing it’s another.

This is the tough time even without going through divorce. It doesn’t help that this pandemics is just awful and puts a damp on everything. Work (any work) is much harder during pandemics, weather is terrible in many places, by me it’s constant snow and it’s been brutally cold, people can’t see their families, can’t travel. Can’t do much, many places are closed, it’s not safe to do things. I bet overall mental health is on decline. It’s terrible.

Not going out with ex is a good idea. Find something fun to watch and yummy to eat. Or go see family.

Maybe think that there are people who maybe aren’t alone but wish they were (in bad relationship in a bad household, in danger etc). Or alone and have zero family. Lost their job. In a war zone. Sick. Have covid. In a hospital. Lost their house etc No place to live

It could be always worse

@MickeyCheeky, as always THANK YOU.

I did just talk to my closest female friend on the phone for over 2 hours. That helped a little bit. I also posted on one of my abuse forums on Facebook about it and am receiving great support and reminders of why I left my husband in the 1st place. And yes, agreed... I am very glad I did not agree to see him tomorrow, no matter how I badly or lonely I feel.

@divine1966, THANK YOU as well.

I can always count on you to remind me that it could always be worse. Thank you for reminding me of this. It's really just tonight and tomorrow I have to get through.. then finally the whole holiday season is over - thank God. And yes, the pandemic and cold winter weather makes everything far worse. There's nothing to do except really stay home.

I am now watching movies, but they're romantic comedies, my favorite kind. Ironically, the movies themselves are at least entertaining me and are not depressing for me.

I agree with everyone here. You are doing the right thing. I haven't been on the forum in a while and I am sorry to hear about your divorce. Valentine's was extremely difficult during my divorce and even now after being re-married it isn't easy.

Sorry to you and everyone struggling right now

Thanks @guy1111.

I've been wondering where you've been. I've missed seeing you on here.

A Blessing for the Brokenhearted << The Painted Prayerbook

Hopefully that link works. I came across this beautiful poem as a link on my Facebook page this morning and thought of your post here.

My husband has been in the ICU with Covid for several weeks. I don’t think I will see him again perhaps for months. He is so very ill. I think he is past the most critical stage medically ( meaning he should survive), but the recovery will be very slow and prolonged.

I have never been that much into Valentines Day, but this year is harder because my love of 35 years is beyond my reach and the fear of losing him to Covid is all to prevalent in my mind still.

Hope you can find some sort of silver lining today.
What I usually celebrate on Valentine's Day:

@ArtleyWilkins, thank you so very much for that poem!

It holds great meaning for me right now and was the perfect kind of poem for me in this very moment.

And I am soooo deeply sorry for your current situation with your husband. How awful for you both, and how incredibly worrisome and scary for you!!! My heart goes out to you both. May he come out of this healthy and strong.... your story certainly puts things into perspective for me.

Hugs and blessings to you.

@TunedOut, thank you dear.

I love the picture!

I am trying to find that silver lining. I am trying to find inspirational quotes online to help cheer me up.

Thank you again!

Hey, @Have Hope. I never had anyone beside me on Valentine's Day. Not once. I bet you have good memories, some folks don't even have that, so... I dunno, maybe it'll make you feel any better.

@MisterPaul, thanks so much. Id' rather not think back on past memories though lol. I am trying to just keep busy today and act like it's just like any other day.

It kinda is. This holiday turned commercial long time ago.

I've typically enjoyed this holiday because more often than not, I've had a love to share it with. It's always held a special meaning for me. But today? I am trying really hard not to think about it so much, so I am updating my Microsoft Office. LOL.. fun fun fun!

That's what I'm talking about. That's the right mindset! If you can have fun with updating your Microsoft Office, then no one can break you!

I'm glad you're having fun with Ms. office. Treat Valentine Day like just an ordinary day, nothing special and there's not even a day off on the day. Anyway, you did a great move by not getting back with him (Have read your past threads before, so it seems like he's trying to woo you so he could "use" you again). Remember that everything will pass, even the storm!

This! It's turned into a big corporate thing. Now they even have Sweetest Day as another way to bilk suckers out of a few bucks. I understand that this holiday is difficult for many people, though. I hope those of you who are feeling down take some solice in the fact that tomorrow is the 15th...another day closer to spring.

LOL. @MisterPaul. I can't let anyone else break me again. I won't! I also just treated myself to a delicious bagel veggie sandwich and hash browns - YUMMY.

Thanks @Turtle_Rider. Oh yes, he is trying SO hard to woo me every chance he gets. But I am remaining steadfast and strong in my stance - NO WAY on earth would I ever get back together with him. Nooooooooooooooo - LOL.

@buddha1too, I like this - one day closer to Spring!!!