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Old 02-22-2021, 09:01 AM   #41
TishaBuv
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Default Re: When do you say enough?

Commercials depict someone surprises the family with a car in the driveway with a big bow on it and they are all delighted. You had discussed your intent to purchase the truck. It sounds like your h didnít like the surprise that you did it without him. It came from his sense of lack of control. Maybe he worried you hadnít gotten a good deal or something to that effect. Tbh, my h would have freaked out too. Sexist, I know.

It would have been nice if it had been that Hallmark moment where they saw the truck and were happy. Yeah, it was about control. You really didnít do anything wrong. Itís just that your h isnít the type of person who reacted the way you had hoped.

Enjoy the truck and try to get past the moment that didnít fly. Is he glad you got the truck overall?
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Old 02-22-2021, 10:08 AM   #42
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Commercials depict someone surprises the family with a car in the driveway with a big bow on it and they are all delighted.
LOL, yeah "The Fantasy". Who wouldn't want that?
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Old 02-22-2021, 10:34 AM   #43
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Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
Commercials depict someone surprises the family with a car in the driveway with a big bow on it and they are all delighted. You had discussed your intent to purchase the truck. It sounds like your h didnít like the surprise that you did it without him. It came from his sense of lack of control. Maybe he worried you hadnít gotten a good deal or something to that effect. Tbh, my h would have freaked out too. Sexist, I know.

It would have been nice if it had been that Hallmark moment where they saw the truck and were happy. Yeah, it was about control. You really didnít do anything wrong. Itís just that your h isnít the type of person who reacted the way you had hoped.

Enjoy the truck and try to get past the moment that didnít fly. Is he glad you got the truck overall?
He has no issue with the truck. I have bought many vehicles on my own. He has his work truck and I have the 'family' car, so to speak, so I'm the one who makes that decision, usually. I needed a truck because I take care of my elderly father.

His issue with me is when the lump sum from disability arrived in my bank account - I keep a separate account for the disability checks. I pay my medical bills out of it - I didn't inform him that it arrived.
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Old 02-22-2021, 11:26 AM   #44
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It's a Colorado. It's a crew cab but its smaller than a Silverado. I just sold my old 2003 trailblazer. I only drive bowties. I wasn't aware there was any other make of vehicle.
I am loyal to the brand too
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Old 02-22-2021, 11:34 AM   #45
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Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
Commercials depict someone surprises the family with a car in the driveway with a big bow on it and they are all delighted. You had discussed your intent to purchase the truck. It sounds like your h didnít like the surprise that you did it without him. It came from his sense of lack of control. Maybe he worried you hadnít gotten a good deal or something to that effect. Tbh, my h would have freaked out too. Sexist, I know.

It would have been nice if it had been that Hallmark moment where they saw the truck and were happy. Yeah, it was about control. You really didnít do anything wrong. Itís just that your h isnít the type of person who reacted the way you had hoped.

Enjoy the truck and try to get past the moment that didnít fly. Is he glad you got the truck overall?
I think itís more about type of personalities. Rather than sexist. My husband wouldnít care and wouldnít skip a beat if I showed up with a truck but iíd freak out if he showed up with unplanned major purchase, he is easy going. I am a planner. lol He also tends to sign up for things that dealer offers without thinking he needs it (extra care plan and some other unnecessary things). He does it because he has hard time saying no to a dealer. I have no issue saying no.

I think if someone was sole bread winner Iíd not mind to see a new car on a driveway that he bought for me without my involvement. But we contribute to our life style equally so Iíd not want unexpected cars!
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Old 02-22-2021, 11:41 AM   #46
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Default Re: When do you say enough?

If he already knew you buying a truck and that the money comes in, then he really canít complain itís a complete surprise. He had reasonable heads up
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Old 02-22-2021, 11:45 AM   #47
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If he already knew you buying a truck and that the money comes in, then he really canít complain itís a complete surprise. He had reasonable heads up
Thank you! My thoughts exactly.
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Old 02-22-2021, 11:50 AM   #48
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Default Re: When do you say enough?

A lot of what I was referring to in my original post regarding his words was how people like him, unknowingly I hope, say the most horrible, painful things because they really don't understand MI at all and I gave up trying to get him to educate himself. My dad is the same way.
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Old 02-23-2021, 06:25 AM   #49
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He has no issue with the truck. I have bought many vehicles on my own. He has his work truck and I have the 'family' car, so to speak, so I'm the one who makes that decision, usually. I needed a truck because I take care of my elderly father.

His issue with me is when the lump sum from disability arrived in my bank account - I keep a separate account for the disability checks. I pay my medical bills out of it - I didn't inform him that it arrived.
I donít understand why he got upset about that, so upset that he was mad about the truck when you arrived with it.
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Old 02-23-2021, 07:25 AM   #50
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Default Re: When do you say enough?

Whoa... so in reading the latest entries, let me get this straight. He already knew of your plans to buy the truck? And he also knew the money was coming in from disability? Yet what he was not informed of was when the money came into your account? And that is it? And then you bought a truck because you are taking care of your father and needed the truck?

This puts a whole different spin on this situation..... if he already was aware of your intent to purchase the truck, AND of the money coming in, then yes, this does seem like an overreaction on his part.

I still remain of the same opinion that his nastiness towards you was completely uncalled for.
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