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never. happy
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never. happy Whenever God closes a door, he makes sure my fingers are in it
 
Member Since: May 2015
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Default Mar 11, 2021 at 02:11 PM
  #1
Hi, everyone. I hope everyone's fine.Please stay safe.

This loong backstory is for context. Best viewed from an Indian point of view since we live in India.

On Jan 31st, I confessed to a girl that I have feelings for her. She answered saying "tell me the truth, do you seriously not know the answer to that question?". It was better than the yes or no that I thought she'd say, if I'm being honest. She surprised me for my birthday about two weeks before that, and she told me after saying yes that she had told her friend about liking me a day after my birthday.

I've been talking to her for over a year at that point... Almost everyday through whatsapp. If any member remembers(that's amazing memory power), she's the person that said that she had a boyfriend of four years and I wrote about that here. General conclusion was that she was having an emotional affair with me and that I needed to keep my distance. Apparently she was just kidding, and told me that the very next day. I just wasn't smart enough to realise that. Man, I've never felt so much jealousy in my life before. I've come to know recently that she had feelings for me since back then and even before that. Like I said in that post, the way we behaved with each other was exactly like a couple. And now I see why.

Fast forward to today, and in the few (four) times we've met up to spend time with each other, we had grown from interlocking our fingers while holding hands to hugging each other so tight (You know, the hugs, the kissing each other everywhere except the lips) to cuddling today. We were avoiding kissing each other on the lips because I kinda freaked that things were moving too fast when she pulled my hair during that hug, and I wanted this to last for a very very long time. But eventually, we did share a kiss today, or two or three.

We do talk, but this stuff is taking a lot of our time for better or worse, and it doesn't help that time speeds up so much when I'm with her. The reason I'm a little cautious is that she has had major baggage with her that she let go of long ago (the baggage). Apparently things were moving way too fast for them and the relationship wasn't exactly a good relationship to be in. I'm scared that by kissing her this early on... I don't know... I'm drawing similarities between her past relationship and ours. I know they're different, but I just can't help it.

Another thing is that when I found out my sister made out with her ex, I cried and just hated myself for indirectly being responsible for that. My girlfriend has a younger brother, too, and I would hate for him to feel that way and go through all those nasty feelings. I'm not her ex, but I belive this still applies.

While I'm not exactly looking for suggestions, they are most certainly welcome. I just wanted to see if anyone else had similar experiences, and how you guys dealt with them.

P.S: I'm gonna talk to her about this the next time we meet in a month, for sure. We've already agreed to slow down.
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MickeyCheeky
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Default Mar 11, 2021 at 04:03 PM
  #2
From what you wrote it seems like you were already intimate enough so i don't think that kissing a few times is a big deal if it was consensual. sex is another matter of course but i Hope that you'll both know when the time is right even depending on your Religion. in any case if she was bothered by it perhaps she would have said something and if she didn't perhaps you don't have much to worry about, but it doesn't hurt to ask i think. So Sorry about what happened to you finding out about your sister and your ex but i think that depends on each individual person and i don't think you're doing something necessarely wrong but of course i may be missing something so perhaps take it with a grain of salt. i am wishing you both the best with this new relationship. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @never. happy, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!
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Thanks for this!
never. happy
never. happy
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never. happy Whenever God closes a door, he makes sure my fingers are in it
 
Member Since: May 2015
Location: Asia
Posts: 106
8 yr Member
69 hugs
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Default Mar 12, 2021 at 07:22 AM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky View Post
From what you wrote it seems like you were already intimate enough so i don't think that kissing a few times is a big deal if it was consensual. sex is another matter of course but i Hope that you'll both know when the time is right even depending on your Religion. in any case if she was bothered by it perhaps she would have said something and if she didn't perhaps you don't have much to worry about, but it doesn't hurt to ask i think. So Sorry about what happened to you finding out about your sister and your ex but i think that depends on each individual person and i don't think you're doing something necessarely wrong but of course i may be missing something so perhaps take it with a grain of salt. i am wishing you both the best with this new relationship. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @never. happy, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!
Thanks for all the warmth MickeyCheeky . The kiss was consensual; I make it a point to tell her that she can and should feel free to tell me if she's feeling uncomfortable with anything so that we can stop. I think she went for it first, if I remember correctly. As for sex, I don't want to rush things and risk what we have. We are on the same page about that. Not until we get married. Just a clarification, more than anything... It was my sister and her ex, not my ex. I'm 99% sure that was a typo, but just incase of that 1%.
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