Boyfriend is pushing me away

Amethyst_Stargazer · Mar 07, 2021 at 02:47 PM

My boyfriend is pushing me away and I didn't do anything wrong. I know he's stressed out and having a depressing week, I am supporting here and being there for him. He seems to be shutting me out and not communicating with me. I told him to reach out to me if he needs to and he told me he loved me the other day. It's beginning to wear on me now, because he won't ever contact me and tell me what's going on or try to talk to me. There have been times where he seems sort of irritated so I back off and give him space. I love him so much, but there's only so much I can take. It's wearing on me. Even when he takes forever to get back to me, I remember patient with him. I'm pretty much stuck and not sure what to do right now. I'm giving him space, but allowing him to know that I'm there for him, but at the same time, it's affecting me too. I'm so stuck right now and don't know what else to do.

Open Eyes · Mar 07, 2021 at 03:20 PM

Does he struggle with depression or some other MI ?

divine1966 · Mar 07, 2021 at 05:15 PM

I am sorry to hear that. It sounds painful. Could you clarify a bit please, is he just in need of space for a day and wants to have time alone tonight or perhaps even a couple of days of longer? I personally like significant amount of space in relationships and it’s often bothersome to others as they don’t need as much space. But I communicate that and am up front about it. How long does he go without communication and how much space does he need? How long you’ve been together and was he like this from the beginning? Is this recent?

Amethyst_Stargazer · Mar 07, 2021 at 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

I am sorry to hear that. It sounds painful. Could you clarify a bit please, is he just in need of space for a day and wants to have time alone tonight or perhaps even a couple of days of longer? I personally like significant amount of space in relationships and it’s often bothersome to others as they don’t need as much space. But I communicate that and am up front about it. How long does he go without communication and how much space does he need? How long you’ve been together and was he like this from the beginning? Is this recent?

This has been recent. He never clarifies anything, which makes this so difficult, so I have to be playing the guessing game. He never tells me how much space he needs or anything, he simply just disappears which causes me to have a lot of anxiety. I don't mind that he needs space at all but when he doesn't communicate with me at all, it makes things very difficult for me. He's very bad with letting me know what's going on and how much time he needs. I've been very patient with him, but it's also affecting my mental health because I always end up worrying about him and having an anxiety attack.

divine1966 · Mar 07, 2021 at 07:24 PM

I’ll be very honest with you. It doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship for YOU.

Regardless what’s going on with him and what causes him to mistreat you in such manner, your health is effected (I doubt there is a single person on this planet who’d not have issues because of this treatment).

Now if he was a family member, long term friend or life long spouse, I’d say let’s see what’s happening and let’s salvage it. But if this is a fairly new relationship, and he already treats your poorly, it has nowhere to go but downhill. Relationships starting in this manner rarely if ever turn into a bliss. Him just disappearing is a bad sign (substance abuse, shady dealings, who knows what else).

I am sorry. Sadly we can’t get people to change their ways. They either change it on their own or we have to accept their behavior at a face value. It doesn’t sound like accepting his bad behavior is healthy for you at all. You deserve a happy peaceful life and not struggle like this

MickeyCheeky · Mar 07, 2021 at 10:29 PM

So Sorry this is happening!

i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters! You're doing the right thing by giving him some space but unfortunately when we feel stressed our behavior can change! Please do try to talk about this to him about how you're feeling hurt but in a calm and civil manner! Please do not give up!

Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Amethyst_Stargazer, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

Rive. · Mar 08, 2021 at 05:20 PM

I would remind him how a relationship is supposed to work. You don't just shut out and stop communicating with your partner. That is NOT a healthy relationship.

Is that how it is always going to be when he gets down or whatever? Just cut you off and do his own thing and leave you dangling?! If so, I would cut my losses and move on. You deserve someone who is there WITH you. Not showing up whenever it suits them.

AzulOscuro · Mar 09, 2021 at 04:41 PM

I do agree with what it has been said before.
It doesn’t seem as a healthy relationship when from the beginning he’s pulling away and doesn’t offer any explanation.

Somehow did you make him know how you feel? Which was his response if so? You say you love him a lot so why don’t talk to him right away? Because, if you don’t get any kind of valid explanation that may make you feel comfortable with or work on it, it won’t be worthy your suffer in the future.

Menu

My Support Forums - Mental Health Support Groups

Get emotional support and friendship from others like you!

Boyfriend is pushing me away

My Support Forums

Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,117 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.3k hugs given	Mar 07, 2021 at 03:20 PM #2 Does he struggle with depression or some other MI ?
	Reply With Quote