Doesn't get the message

I'm dating and this guy I've tried ending things with. He invites himself over, walks in my apt. Without knocking. He doesn't contact me for months blames covid than calls thinking he just come over and ****. I'm shocked honestly. I don't value the same things he does and I'm shocked and how presumptuous he is.

How do i get rid of him? I've told him not to contact me and i thought it finally worked. Til it didn't. Literally hadn't heard from him since December. It's March! And he thinks we can pick up where we left off? An I'm the crazy one.

Help me. I don't want to see him.

Tell him the truth and if he keeps insisting, block him. If he comes into your apartment simply don't open the door to him. If he keeps insisting tell him to go away. You may even be able to call the cops if he still wants to enter there i think since i don't think he has any right to enter there without permission but i am not sure about that. So Sorry that you have to deal with this. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Aviza, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

Block him. He shouldn’t be able to call you if he is blocked. If he shows up, don’t open the door, keep doors locked af all times, he can’t walk in if doors are locked, and call the police.

How can someone walk into your apartment if the door is locked? Make sure it's locked and don't answer if he knocks.

I don't usually lock it when I'm home except at night when i go to bed. Heck i even leave it unlocked when i run to get mail. It's generally a very safe place. He caught me off guard once i didn't buzz him in and he walked right into my apt. My mom was visiting.

Well clearly you do need to lock doors. It’s safe only until it is not. And clearly it is not safe to keep doors open

I’d tell him straight, if he tries to come in uninvited again you’re calling the police. That’s not on, even if you hadn’t dumped him. I dread to think what might have happened if he’d found you alone, rather than with your mum. Someone who does this isn’t a safe person to be around because they don’t respect your boundaries, and by extension your personal safety.

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966 Well clearly you do need to lock doors. It’s safe only until it is not. And clearly it is not safe to keep doors open

^^^This^^^

I told him and ended up not being home. I think it's over now.

if this was me I would say ok I have told this person its over and they persist. ok time for me to up my boundaries. keep myapartment or house doors locked. and if he has at any time been given a set of keys, change the locks, its now very easy to change ones own locks. a hardware store or department can help you with what kinds of door knobs extera have the right lockingsystem for your needs and managers are required to change house/ apartment locks if there is stalking or domestic violence situation.

I also would get a restraining order preventing the person from persisting or risk their getting arrested. its illegal to force entrance into ones home with out permission so if he does it again I would call the police for an intruder.

in my situation the person got the message with the changed locks so that they could no longer enter any time, the restraining order and first arrest for tresspassing / intruder.

theres also many home security alert systems you can get that monitor your home and alert the police when an intruder has entered. they work fantastically.

ultimately only you can decide when is enough and set boundaries that fit your life and what you want to do about his continued intrusions in your life.

my suggestion contact your treatment providers who can help you decide what is best for you.

You need to write down time and place and form of harassment. If you ever wish to get a formal order from a court against him, you will need it.
Many sources write that stalking require three actions such as constant calling, coming around, etc. So if you record it, it will help.

Writing us and telling friends and family about it is also very effective so far as I know. The more people know the better, really...

That sounds like what my sister friend is doing to us. My sister doesn’t see that.