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Magnate
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,456
11 86 hugs
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#1
I'm dating and this guy I've tried ending things with. He invites himself over, walks in my apt. Without knocking. He doesn't contact me for months blames covid than calls thinking he just come over and ****. I'm shocked honestly. I don't value the same things he does and I'm shocked and how presumptuous he is.
How do i get rid of him? I've told him not to contact me and i thought it finally worked. Til it didn't. Literally hadn't heard from him since December. It's March! And he thinks we can pick up where we left off? An I'm the crazy one. Help me. I don't want to see him. __________________ Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P. Daughter: 20 Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs. |
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*Beth*, bpforever1, Buffy01, RoxanneToto
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Buffy01
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
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#2
Tell him the truth and if he keeps insisting, block him. If he comes into your apartment simply don't open the door to him. If he keeps insisting tell him to go away. You may even be able to call the cops if he still wants to enter there i think since i don't think he has any right to enter there without permission but i am not sure about that. So Sorry that you have to deal with this. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Aviza, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!
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RoxanneToto
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,367
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#3
Block him. He shouldn’t be able to call you if he is blocked. If he shows up, don’t open the door, keep doors locked af all times, he can’t walk in if doors are locked, and call the police.
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*Beth*, RoxanneToto
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: Michigan
Posts: 841
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#4
How can someone walk into your apartment if the door is locked? Make sure it's locked and don't answer if he knocks.
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Magnate
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,456
11 86 hugs
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#5
I don't usually lock it when I'm home except at night when i go to bed. Heck i even leave it unlocked when i run to get mail. It's generally a very safe place. He caught me off guard once i didn't buzz him in and he walked right into my apt. My mom was visiting.
__________________ Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P. Daughter: 20 Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,367
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#6
Well clearly you do need to lock doors. It’s safe only until it is not. And clearly it is not safe to keep doors open
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*Beth*, ArtleyWilkins, RoxanneToto
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2020
Location: England
Posts: 1,692
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#7
I’d tell him straight, if he tries to come in uninvited again you’re calling the police. That’s not on, even if you hadn’t dumped him. I dread to think what might have happened if he’d found you alone, rather than with your mum. Someone who does this isn’t a safe person to be around because they don’t respect your boundaries, and by extension your personal safety.
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Aviza, Rive.
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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#8
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Magnate
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,456
11 86 hugs
given |
#9
I told him and ended up not being home. I think it's over now.
__________________ Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P. Daughter: 20 Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs. |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: 8CS / NYS / USA
Posts: 9,136
15 884 hugs
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#10
Quote:
I also would get a restraining order preventing the person from persisting or risk their getting arrested. its illegal to force entrance into ones home with out permission so if he does it again I would call the police for an intruder. in my situation the person got the message with the changed locks so that they could no longer enter any time, the restraining order and first arrest for tresspassing / intruder. theres also many home security alert systems you can get that monitor your home and alert the police when an intruder has entered. they work fantastically. ultimately only you can decide when is enough and set boundaries that fit your life and what you want to do about his continued intrusions in your life. my suggestion contact your treatment providers who can help you decide what is best for you. |
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Aviza
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Grand Member
Member Since Jan 2021
Location: On a raindrop far, far away
Posts: 871
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#11
You need to write down time and place and form of harassment. If you ever wish to get a formal order from a court against him, you will need it.
Many sources write that stalking require three actions such as constant calling, coming around, etc. So if you record it, it will help. Writing us and telling friends and family about it is also very effective so far as I know. The more people know the better, really... |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,514
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#12
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