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Junior Member
Member Since Apr 2021
Location: Canada
Posts: 11
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#1
Has anyone here been mentally abused by there partner? I have been in a total of 5 year relationship and have just started in the last year realizing that I was being mentally abused. I still have a hard time describing it.....it's a lot of things being said and over reactions that over time have caused me to constantly be walking on egg shells. I have a young child so this makes everything worse I have to appease her so she doesn't get angry in front of him. Sometimes I'm just like "am I being emotionally abused here?" "is this real?" "am the one over reacting?" I know for sure it has wore me down to the point I am feeling mentally exhausted. Anyone have any experience with this? With a form of abusive that is not so clear cut?
I posted my background in the divorce forum yesterday....going through a possible separation, have a young child involved. having trouble spending time apart from him, thinking of staying in the relationship to be able to care for our child etc.... |
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Bill3, Buffy01, RoxanneToto
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Bill3, Buffy01
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,537
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#2
Quote:
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eskielover, RoxanneToto
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Veteran Member
Member Since Jan 2011
Posts: 574
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#3
All abuse causes mental abuse.....there is verbal abuse and physical abuse. I was in a verbally abusive marriage for 31 years.I finally got a divorce.The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my life. Verbal abuse is brainwashing, that is why you question your sanity. Abusers are insecure and will say and do...anything to get control over you. You can go online and look up verbal abuse; there is a wealth of information there. You are NOT overreacting. This kind of abuse is also called "gaslighting." Verbal abuse is also called "crazy-making behavior (Patricia Evans book). Abusers want and need you to continually explain yourself. If you feel you must respond, you can say....oh, I see, that is what you think.
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eskielover, RoxanneToto
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,096
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#4
This may help -
Verbal and emotional abuse defined: What is verbally abusive behavior? Verbally abusive behavior is defined as verbal tactics designed to undermine the confidence, self-worth and self-esteem in the victim. Abuse in any form is always about the abuser establishing power and control over another. Verbal abuse therefore is a tactic used by the abuser to create a sense of dominance over the victim, and is mainly rooted in a deep sense of insecurity and inferiority by the abuser. Verbally abusive behavior can be described as: Put downs, cutting remarks and constant criticism Hurtful, cutting comments masked by sarcasm or presented as a joke Name calling Yelling or raging against the victim Blaming and false accusations Shaming Withholding – withholding information and refusing to share feelings and thoughts Countering – arguing, or dismissing the victim’s thoughts, feelings and perceptions Blame shifting – the abuser never takes responsibility for their actions, and shifts the blame onto the victim Blocking – the abuser controls what topics can be discussed Trivializing – the abuser trivializes what the victim thinks, feels or wants to do Denial – the abuser outright denies the victim’s perceptions of an event or conversation Rewriting history – the abuser fabricates or makes up different details of an event or a conversation that differ from the victim’s recollection Character assasination – personal attacks that degrade the victim’s character Verbal abuse ultimately erodes the victim of a sense of self-confidence, self-worth and their perception of reality. Verbal abuse will eventually cause severe psychological problems, if prolonged and accepted by the victim. What is emotionally abusive behavior? Emotional abuse, also called psychological abuse, is designed to manipulate the victim’s emotions. Emotional abuse can be a matter of systematic brainwashing and can have just as devastating an effect on the victim’s sense of well-being as verbal abuse can. Similarly, emotional abuse is designed to control and have power over the victim. Emotional abuse can overlap with forms of verbal abuse. Emotionally abusive behavior can be described as: Threats and emotional blackmailing Exertion of control over the victim in any way Indirect violence intended to intimidate the victim Verbal assaults The abuser is never wrong – the abuser shifts the blame to the victim When confronted, the abuser launches a verbal attack on the victim The abuser shows no empathy for the victim’s hurt feelings The abuser never apologizes for their poor behavior and treatment The abuser uses forms of mental punishment such as the silent treatment, or withdrawal of affection, love and sex when they are displeased or confronted Love-bombing or promises of change to make the victim forget the abuse Isolation of the victim, and making the victim fully dependent on their abuser Lack of reasoning – the abuser is typically unreasonable and makes unreasonable demands of their victim Creating a sense of fear in the victim Extreme mistrust and jealousy __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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RoxanneToto
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