[rdgrad15]

A friend of mine is falling for a scam and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it. Over the past few months she has grown increasingly obsessed with BTS, a K-Pop band. Recently, she has started talking to someone on an app called hang out and someone has claimed to be one of the band members. Despite strong evidence to the contrary, she still believes it is him. She is going to send him 1,500 dollars to fly him to Pittsburgh to meet up with him. These members are billionaires who can fly themselves on charter planes. She truly believes that it is just management telling them that she needs to pay 1,500 to fly them out and that it's a good chance it's truly a BTS member that she feels may be in a relationship with. They are all single and I've even proven that but she thinks that it's possible that they really can date.

The first two times she tried talking to him, her family caught her and explained to her that it was a scam and gave her so much evidence that it is not actually a member of BTS. She will go along with it, even seeming to believe them for a bit, only to go back and believing she is talking to an actual member. Any time I try to talk her out of it, she gets mad at me and says that she is almost 28 and can make her own decisions. I totally get that but I wish she would realize just how bad of an idea this is and how wrong this can go. If she messes up then oh well. It's really frustrating that she is so desperate to go through with this that she seems to not even care about the consequences.

The thing is, she is going the wrong way about it, and since she lives alone, this is a move that will definitely cause her to be forced out of her duplex and moved down to Atlanta with her parents. I don't want her to throw all of it away since making this move would prove to her parents that she's untrustworthy, but at the same time, I can't force her to not make this decision. These people have enough money to fly themselves. She said that management won't let them fly themselves out and that's why they need 1,500. While that could be true, a scammer would find that out and be able to say that. Scammers are usually very smart, I almost fell for one on Facebook but quickly caught on. They know what they're doing. I've proven that BTS only communicates through Weverse and that's even rare. They don't talk to fans through any other app, yet she doesn't get that.

If she goes through with it, then she goes through with it. It makes me think, even more so than before, that she has other issues besides ADHD. Most likely depression or something else. She says she can make rational decisions on her own, but this decision doesn't seem rational. She also recognizes that this could blow up in her face again but strongly feels, due to the things he has said to her, that it is a BTS member. She doesn't realize that there is so much evidence that has been proven otherwise. BTS only interacts in public settings. They don't talk to fans through email or a messaging app that can not be detected. The person won't even send a photo to prove who he is, stating management won't allow it. She has sent him a photo of her license to prove who she is. Her parents know that and tried to talk her out of it, but to no avail. She is keeping all this private now, stating that she's doing it.

The iPhone app, Hangouts, is literally a app where you can message anyone in the world. Essentially text messaging but to the public. And any thing that is said, even scams that take place, can't be tracked. She barely has enough money to pay her own bills, yet she still wants to go through with it. Again, I understand she wants to make her own decisions, but at the same time, it is almost as if she doesn't care that she could potentially throw away any freedom she has gained. I even told her that making this decision will definitely land her in Atlanta and that it will prove to her parents that she can't be on her own. It could also put her safety at risk too.

I've even said that she will be in Atlanta wishing she hadn't made the decision, knowing that she could still be in Pittsburgh on her own had she not sent the money to fly someone out here. Still, it doesn't do any good. She just gets extremely mad at me and claims that she needs to do it. As much as I want to stop her, I can't force her to stop. If she really wants to make the decision and most likely have her moved, then that's most likely what will happen. She just refuses to hear it, saying that she has to find out on her own. I've even provided evidence that states BTS doesn't even let people know they travel and doesn't like it when people approach them or find their personal contact information.

It is so frustrating that she would fall for a scam. She's gotten hurt by this guy before too, saying rude stuff to her anytime she questioned her in the past. At first she was upset, but now claims that he, who she thinks is a BTS member, just has some anger issues and that he didn't mean it. That's just excuses. No one will say horrible things to you, saying you're worthless or other stuff like that, if they truly cared about you. Even out of anger. I wish she would realize that, and she does with anything else. Just with this, she is willing to take the risk. She has claimed to be lonely to her parents in the past, but then reversed her decision and says that she really isn't all the time. I think she's just trying to hide it.

I know there is nothing more I can do and technically she is in charge of her own life. I'll still go to the airport with her for safety reasons, but she is still making a bad decision. Either the person will bail out after the money is sent like most scammers do, or someone will actually show up and turn out to be a creep. I've told her tha but she is still wanting to do it. She is so delusional and it makes me think that there is way more wrong with her than I realize. I've emotionally started to distance myself, preparing for her to not be around anymore. I believe she has depression and just doesn't want to come to terms with it and she's doing this to not feel lonely and also potentially for attention. I'm torn between letting her find out for herself, and telling her parents which would result in her getting extremely mad at me. I think this may be an act of rebellion too. I know, it is her choice. Her parents can be very controlling. Always threatening to pull the rug. so I think this is her way of trying to regain control of her life, just not in the right way.

[unaluna]

Can you call the fraud division at your local police?

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by unaluna

Can you call the fraud division at your local police?

Oh what is that? Never heard of it.

[Open Eyes]

It's unfortunate how this happens and people actually believe and spend money hoping for what is promised. I see this happen all the time with these people claiming to be psychics and tarot card readers who get very good at sending emails that say things people want to hear and these emails seem to hit the nail on the head with whatever is challenging a person. People make a fortune this way, pretending to be able to warn people and help them avoid problems.

Your friend has to understand that as soon as she sends the money, it's OVER and this individual will just take her money and go dark and basically disappear. These type of individuals get very good at scamming. Anytime there is a request for money, 99 percent of the time it's just a scammer.

[RollercoasterLover]

It will likely be difficult for your friend to even admit shes being scammed. This scammer is giving her something that's missing in her life. Instead of begging her understand shes being scammed, try talking to her about what "the relationship" is giving her. Her emotions are real to her and scammers will manipulate her emotions to get what they want which is her money.

[Open Eyes]

If this person is what is said he would make enough money on his own to pay his own way. Your friend is niave and that's exactly what these type of scammers prey on.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

It's unfortunate how this happens and people actually believe and spend money hoping for what is promised. I see this happen all the time with these people claiming to be psychics and tarot card readers who get very good at sending emails that say things people want to hear and these emails seem to hit the nail on the head with whatever is challenging a person. People make a fortune this way, pretending to be able to warn people and help them avoid problems.

Your friend has to understand that as soon as she sends the money, it's OVER and this individual will just take her money and go dark and basically disappear. These type of individuals get very good at scamming. Anytime there is a request for money, 99 percent of the time it's just a scammer.

Yep I absolutely agree.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by RollercoasterLover

It will likely be difficult for your friend to even admit shes being scammed. This scammer is giving her something that's missing in her life. Instead of begging her understand shes being scammed, try talking to her about what "the relationship" is giving her. Her emotions are real to her and scammers will manipulate her emotions to get what they want which is her money.

Exactly. Scammers are very good at what they do. Trust me, I almost fell for it once on FB. I caught on as soon as the money part was involved.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

If this person is what is said he would make enough money on his own to pay his own way. Your friend is niave and that's exactly what these type of scammers prey on.

Exactly. They can do it themselves.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by rdgrad15

Oh what is that? Never heard of it.

On the news, whenever they have scammers, they say to call the police fraud department.

How is she supposed to send him the money? By gift card? By western union? By venmo?

[MickeyCheeky]

So Sorry that your friend is going through this. i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters in that shey may be vulnerable at the moment. Perhaps try a kinder approach? Not saying that you've been rude to her but perhaps understand if she's doing this to fill a void or something similar to that. i don't want to jump to conclusions so i am Sorry. i Hope you'll be able to convince her to not send any money or see those people she doesn't even know. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @rdgrad15, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by unaluna

On the news, whenever they have scammers, they say to call the police fraud department.

How is she supposed to send him the money? By gift card? By western union? By venmo?

Western Union.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

So Sorry that your friend is going through this. i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters in that shey may be vulnerable at the moment. Perhaps try a kinder approach? Not saying that you've been rude to her but perhaps understand if she's doing this to fill a void or something similar to that. i don't want to jump to conclusions so i am Sorry. i Hope you'll be able to convince her to not send any money or see those people she doesn't even know. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @rdgrad15, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

Yeah I’ll try.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by rdgrad15

Western Union.

Often the people at western union will even try to stop the transaction, they are so often used for scams.

If you just google "western union money scams" it brings up a WHOLE lot of stuff.

This is sooooo common. I mean, how did i guess? I have read about it so many times!

Good on you for trying to help your friend.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by unaluna

Often the people at western union will even try to stop the transaction, they are so often used for scams.

If you just google "western union money scams" it brings up a WHOLE lot of stuff.

This is sooooo common. I mean, how did i guess? I have read about it so many times!

Good on you for trying to help your friend.

Oh I didn’t know that. And thanks.

[Arpheus]

I started reading this picture someone that's maybe 18 years old and thinking it's pretty bad but then I read 28 and yikes...

There's being naïve, depressed or lonely but this is something else entirely. This is a level of self delusion that may very well disqualify her from being a functioning adult. I don't think there's something you can really do to solve that, even if she somehow avoids this pit she'll just find another to throw herself at.

If you're a really selfless friend then tell her family, knowing she may even cut you off, but I think it's probably the best you could do for her.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Arpheus

I started reading this picture someone that's maybe 18 years old and thinking it's pretty bad but then I read 28 and yikes...

There's being naïve, depressed or lonely but this is something else entirely. This is a level of self delusion that may very well disqualify her from being a functioning adult. I don't think there's something you can really do to solve that, even if she somehow avoids this pit she'll just find another to throw herself at.

If you're a really selfless friend then tell her family, knowing she may even cut you off, but I think it's probably the best you could do for her.

Yeah exactly. I’ve had my bouts with extreme loneliness and depression and have even seeked out online friendships too. That’s why I’m here. But even then I know when to not fall for a scam and not to give money. She has become delusional. I should tell her family. The alternative is to let her learn the hard way. I would go to the airport with her and we would just wait for someone who obviously will never show up. Because it’s a scam. Or someone shows up but it is an entirely different person. But yeah, she could do this again if she avoids this pitfall.

[unaluna]

Does she have to go to a western union location or is that done over the phone? Maybe you could go with her there. There will be no way to get the money back once she sends it.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by unaluna

Does she have to go to a western union location or is that done over the phone? Maybe you could go with her there. There will be no way to get the money back once she sends it.

I believe it is online.

[TishaBuv]

It’s so frustrating when someone refuses to listen to sound advice that will keep them from harm, but there’s nothing you can do. It does sound like your friend has had a break with reality to think a member of BTS found her and needs her to send him $! Is this how she normally is? Is it possible she is truly having delusions? Normally, I wouldn’t tell my 28 y/o friend’s parents, but you may want to due to her being this delusional and the amount of the money she’s going to lose.