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Old 05-07-2021, 03:42 PM   #181
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Default Re: The ending of my relationship

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I no longer have a lawyer and cannot afford one.

It is hard since the divorce is not final... we have yet to even file for divorce!

I am looking into how to file on my own, since his own lawyer is dragging his heels, although, I missed the one time per month window yesterday to call "Dial a Lawyer" in my state yesterday. My therapist told me last night that I can go directly to the court and work with a lawyer there on how to file for divorce. I want to get this going ASAP, so I will likely need to file on my own.

Other life issues are taking precedence right now though.

Good luck with that. What other life issues are getting in the way for now if it's not too private to ask?
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Old 05-08-2021, 03:50 AM   #182
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Hi!

I am new here and don't know where to start but i read your post and I am sorry your going thru this. I am in the process of starting a divorce and I am a mess. I can relate to a lot of what you said but especially the anger and what to do with it and journaling. I feel the same way thre is so much anger and pain and hurt. I don;t even know where to start. your post made me feel not alone. Thank you for sharing. I wish you the best!
Thank you, and I wish you the best as well! Divorce is really hard, but it's good if you have conviction that it's the right thing to do for yourself. Free yourself.

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Old 05-08-2021, 03:51 AM   #183
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Good luck with that. What other life issues are getting in the way for now if it's not too private to ask?
A lot - I've been through several life crises lately and I am in recovery now from all of it.
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Old 05-08-2021, 03:53 AM   #184
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Yesterday was my second wedding anniversary. I was severely depressed the day before and could barely function at work. Yesterday was far better and I managed to get through the full day and night without shedding a single tear. Thank goodness that it's over though. It was ROUGH.
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Old 05-08-2021, 11:50 AM   #185
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Today he sent me a picture of himself crying. Yesterday was our second wedding anniversary. It's an emotional time for both of us. I told him I cannot keep talking to him. I will block him now.
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Last edited by Have Hope; 05-08-2021 at 12:48 PM..
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Old 05-08-2021, 12:57 PM   #186
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Picture of him crying is a manipulation. Thatís ridiculous. I canít imagine sending my crying pictures to anyone about anything. So goofy. Thatís completely inappropriate. Why send a picture. Grown man sends pics of himself. He is crying about a wedding for which you paid with your money (and exuberant amount) and at which he was angry and yelling at you and then was drugged up on cocaine, which he bought with YOUR money. Please. You had a fight in the wedding day. Is that the best he can do? Cry about that? This is getting insane.
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Old 05-08-2021, 01:00 PM   #187
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It IS insane - tell me about it. He has been making me crazy for three years now. Enough is enough. I need greater peace and far less drama. He is drama queen x100.
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Old 05-09-2021, 06:14 AM   #188
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So now I've blocked him for real.

He texted yesterday and within his lengthy barrage of texts, he once again used the police as an excuse for his infidelity, yet when we were together again just recently, he claimed he would never use this as an excuse again. So, once again, he is not taking responsibility for his actions and is changing his tune, yet again.

He makes me absolutely crazy - his deflections are crazy making. In one minute, he says it was a bad decision and a mistake, then the next, he's blaming ME again for it. I am seething over this once again, hence my blocking him, finally. I also unfriended him on Facebook.

At least I've taken the step to cut off all contact except for email communication where he can send me the divorce paperwork. I told him this - do not contact me now except for divorce paperwork.

So it's finally done. Needing peace in my life trumped worrying about any retaliation. I cannot control what he says or thinks, and I no longer wish to try. It's out of my hands. Clearly, he still wants to blame ME for HIS infidelity - and I will NOT accept that. It's completely unacceptable. Being unfaithful was HIS CHOICE and HIS DECISION. I am NOT responsible for HIS hurtful actions.
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Old 05-09-2021, 06:27 AM   #189
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No matter how much he claims to be a loving little lamb, the wolf underneath keeps revealing itself...
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Old 05-09-2021, 08:42 AM   #190
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No matter how much he claims to be a loving little lamb, the wolf underneath keeps revealing itself...
@Bill3, yes, exactly this. You said it perfectly. He continues to prove this to me over and over again, and despite his grand sweeping statements and declaration of massive change, without any therapy mind you. What a joke.
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Old 05-10-2021, 06:17 AM   #191
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He's now emailing me a bunch of his crap, after I've blocked him on my phone and unfriended him on Facebook. This morning he wrote an email saying he tried to call and couldn't get through, and would I call him back.

I sent my goodbye email in reply to ALL of his, saying the only thing I wish to hear about are next steps in the divorce process. I told him that if I do not hear on this within one week, that I am going to file for divorce myself. I still cannot afford to do so and don't want to have to pay the filing fee on my own, but I will if I must.

Once again, I am exasperated by him.
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Old 05-10-2021, 07:26 AM   #192
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If you are the one wanting a divorce itís a given you file for it. He isnít going to file if he hopes for reconciliation. What happened with those letters lawyers were drafting before you two got back together?
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Old 05-10-2021, 04:50 PM   #193
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If you are the one wanting a divorce itís a given you file for it. He isnít going to file if he hopes for reconciliation. What happened with those letters lawyers were drafting before you two got back together?
There was only a divorce agreement that was being drafted and negotiated between the lawyers. The agreement has been finalized. I just personally have not had the time to look into filing on my own, and I have no clue what I need to do in order to file.
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Old 05-10-2021, 05:43 PM   #194
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Now I am receiving a barrage of emails from him - at least 10 today or more. I am not replying.
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Old 05-10-2021, 07:13 PM   #195
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Look up your countyís probate and family court and they should have info online or call them. Was that letter that lawyers drafted signed? Thatís your separation agreement but maybe you donít need it. Filing isnít expensive.
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Old Yesterday, 05:59 AM   #196
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Look up your countyís probate and family court and they should have info online or call them. Was that letter that lawyers drafted signed? Thatís your separation agreement but maybe you donít need it. Filing isnít expensive.
The agreement is not signed. My therapist suggested last week that I work through the county court. I am getting a stimulus check, so that can help pay for filing.
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Old Yesterday, 06:04 AM   #197
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The agreement is not signed. My therapist suggested last week that I work through the county court. I am getting a stimulus check, so that can help pay for filing.
Yes county court will deal with it. It shouldnít be too expensive.

I thought there was no more stimulus coming. There was one in March. I thought that was the last one. One more would be a blessing
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