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Default May 01, 2021 at 02:56 PM
  #41
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Originally Posted by unaluna View Post
My last t told me that r d laings theory of crazymaking was debunked. I think it was debunked by crazymakers.

Personally I wouldnt send him any money. Unless all this contact is his way of asking for it back?

Im really sorry you are going thru this.
Possible trigger:
what kind of support would be helpful? I tend to roll up into a ball for 3 months when these things happen, so i dont know how helpful i can be!
Well, since I'm doing daily therapy right now I had a session with my T. It was helpful. I'm feeling better about it.

No, I definitely have to send the money, because it's hanging over my head like some obligation. I can end the crazymaker by just finishing this and being done.

I guess just support that I'm not a bad daughter, validation that it IS gaslighting, and he is a lying liar who lies. I mean, he basically admitted that he lied in his response back to me. This whole thing was to bait me into something. He could have simply emailed me and asked me for my address. Instead he goes to my brother and says I won't respond to him when he hasn't even asked me for my address? BS.

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Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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Default May 01, 2021 at 03:06 PM
  #42
Well, since you compare him to the SSA, I would take it a step further and think of him as the IRS 2.0. A big pain in the *** in the spring.

But one day you will be rid of him, and you will gain back two of the most beautiful months of the year. Ive only recently begun to have april and may, since my mothers birthday was in may.

Everything with a bs parent is bs. THAT would be a good book title.
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Default May 01, 2021 at 03:24 PM
  #43
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Originally Posted by unaluna View Post
Well, since you compare him to the SSA, I would take it a step further and think of him as the IRS 2.0. A big pain in the *** in the spring.


But one day you will be rid of him, and you will gain back two of the most beautiful months of the year. Ive only recently begun to have april and may, since my mothers birthday was in may.


Everything with a bs parent is bs. THAT would be a good book title.
I discussed with my therapist sending the money from my SSA account and he agreed that it would give me peace of mind and allow me to fully disconnect and move on.

Part of me wants to have the argument with him. Wants to list out all the harmful things he's done, bring up all the childhood abuse, put it all out there in detail for him to refute. The problem is that you can't argue with a narcissist. He will deflect, change the subject, throw strawmen. Even this morning, when I pointed out that I had tried to reach out and given up, he ignored that and made it out that I wasn't trying, etc. He even signed his last email "with no pretense." The whole damn thing is pretense! His initial email was wholly a pretense because he sent it under the auspices that I didn't respond to him and then he admitted he hadn't even tried to reach out to me!

He is so disordered that he can't even see his own pretense. He literally reached out under a pretense then says "with no pretense."

I swear my brain can't even do enough somersaults to keep up with whatever distorted, dysfunctional thinking this is.

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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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Default May 01, 2021 at 03:30 PM
  #44
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Originally Posted by seesaw View Post
I discussed with my therapist sending the money from my SSA account and he agreed that it would give me peace of mind and allow me to fully disconnect and move on.

Part of me wants to have the argument with him. Wants to list out all the harmful things he's done, bring up all the childhood abuse, put it all out there in detail for him to refute. The problem is that you can't argue with a narcissist. He will deflect, change the subject, throw strawmen. Even this morning, when I pointed out that I had tried to reach out and given up, he ignored that and made it out that I wasn't trying, etc. He even signed his last email "with no pretense." The whole damn thing is pretense! His initial email was wholly a pretense because he sent it under the auspices that I didn't respond to him and then he admitted he hadn't even tried to reach out to me!

He is so disordered that he can't even see his own pretense. He literally reached out under a pretense then says "with no pretense."

I swear my brain can't even do enough somersaults to keep up with whatever distorted, dysfunctional thinking this is.

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You said it, he’s a narcissist . That’s what you’re gonna get. Make a clean break with returning the money and then you’ll be on equal footing and can go from there. He’s definitely a dysfunctional parent. A functional parent wouldn’t want the money back.

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Default May 01, 2021 at 10:29 PM
  #45
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Originally Posted by leomama View Post
You said it, he’s a narcissist . That’s what you’re gonna get. Make a clean break with returning the money and then you’ll be on equal footing and can go from there. He’s definitely a dysfunctional parent. A functional parent wouldn’t want the money back.

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You are absolutely right. I'm going to take care of it all on Monday. I have to move money in my bank. And I want them to issue the check directly. So I will call them and have them help me handle it.

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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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Default May 01, 2021 at 11:43 PM
  #46
Just saw this and I so feel it.
My bio dad only contacts me to ruin my birthday each year

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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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