Importance of social life

I'm amazed how important social life is. I spent almost a month working very hard on the most important project of my life. I gave up social life and I'm not seeing anybody. I wanted to go all in, work as much as a I can. Right now I'm on the edge of biggest breakdown ever. I feel like I could literally kill someone, so angry. I wake up in the morning and first thing I do is RAGING.

Amazing how we humans are build...

A lot of people have developed a bad attitude due to all the extra challenges brought on by Covid.

This is a time for you to step back and see if you are expecting too much and have a problem when things don’t go your way. That often can turn into struggling with the rage you are describing.

One thing my therapist taught me to help with pent up anger is to sit down and raise my hands up over my head and then let them drop to my knees exhaling with a grunt and repeat a few times. It actually helps release that anger and frustration.

So Sorry that things are being hard. i agree with the wise and wonderful Open Eyes about this being a stressful period i Think. Please do not hurt yourself or others. i think social life can definitely be important although i'd add that it depends on the person how much of an impact it has. Perhaps it would be good to build or continue going out with some people if covid restrictions allow it. Perhaps seeing a therapist may prove useful as Well. Please do not give up. Hugs. Stay Safe. You deserve to be Happy. Everyone does. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @MisterPaul, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

Yep! In the end, we are here to procreate and use the support of the group to protect ourselves or survive. It’s in our gens.
As a social defective individuo, I would like to be schizoid, that way I would be fine on my own and I wouldn’t have to worry about fitting in even a bit.

It's really important to maintain balance and self-care. Going all in doesn't mean failing to take care of yourself. You need to socialize with other humans to stay centered, and to finish a big project and do it well, you need to stay centered. Hence giving up your social life when you're under stress is actually not good for finishing the project.

Can you take a small break and get together with friends and relax?

I wonder... there is this energy when things go south on you. People seek for help, support, someone to talk to.... what happens if they decide to face those exteremly negative emotions and insane anger on their own? Can it lead to something bad? Is it possible to lose control over my own actions? I just wonder, I'm not on a killing spree or anything like it Just curious about this part of human's nature.

I think when we try to deal with overwhelming emotions of any kind by ourselves, and isolate ourselves, yes, it does lead to bad things. Not necessarily violence toward others, but this is how people end up with substance abuse disorders, self harming, eating disorders, hoarding, etc. And yes, they may also end up hurting someone else, unintentionally even, while they isolate themselves.

I think our natural instinct is to reach out.. whether to a family member or friend, a therapist or online forum, a doctor, or books written by experienced individuals.

A parallel to this is like choosing to drown or hold your breath "forever". There comes a point when the body's survival instinct kicks in and will do the opposite of what the mind is telling it to do.

So eventually, I'd say we become affected by living a solitary life. Some need more social interactions than others snd we can all adapt to our environments or situations. I do believe though that at some point, we hit low enough to involve someone else into our lives, as temporary as we allow it.

As for your situation, I'm really curious about what that is! lol It sounds as if you're making a momentary sacrifice over something that's seemingly important to you. A month really isn't that long in the big picture.. so good luck with this project! I suspect your anger derives from stress, high expectations, and a need to see success from all the work you're doing. Plus, I'm guessing there's been a lack of sleep and poor diet? Put all that on top of social isolation.. can't be good.

It’s important to understand that anger is experienced when a person feels threatened in some way. When anger happens it fills a person with adrenaline in preparation to fight. Just because this adrenaline is created it doesn’t always mean to take action. It’s very primitive and brings on a physical preparedness to remove a threat to ones safety. Thing is that just because you experience this it doesn’t mean you have to act.

When you do the exercise I described it actually helps to use up the adrenaline anger produces. Then you can review the threat and work on removing the problem not based on emotion and rage but instead REASON. You don’t want to sit and stew with all this adrenaline. It actually impedes reasoning and rationalizing and learning. Acting on impulse is what immature teens and young adults practice. A mature adult learns how to acknowledge emotions and rationalize instead of their emotions running their lives and acting on emotional impulses or self medicating for emotional escape.

Children tend to have temper tantrums because they don’t have the ability to sit and rationalize. Instead a child needs guidance to understand this anger and then have the problem addressed. Children have to learn what this anger they are experiencing means.

One of the first things a toddler learns is the word “no”. It’s the beginning of a child’s effort to have some sense of control. A lot of times the no means they are not ready to engage something and are afraid.

I have come across this a lot in what I do and I encourage parents not to force a child who says no out of fear. Instead I find that pushing and forcing often pushes a child into a tantrum and even tears of anger and fear.

Given what you have shared MisterPaul it is likely that certain situations can cause you to experience the challenge/challenges from your past that hurt you. If you get an anger trigger now it’s better to learn to use reason instead of acting based on emotions and accumulating adrenaline build up. An early injury to one’s ego needs healing and healthier avenues to engaging. You are young enough to develop healthier ways of engaging and handling the anger/frustration build up.

Usually personality disorders are not diagnosed in children and teens because a lot of interactions are based on ego and emotion and the brain itself is not fully matured which typically takes place around age 25. After that an individual begins to grow more and begins to understand things in a different light.

There is a desire to be independent that is normal. However when it comes to anger it’s important to learn how to work through it and not act on it in ways that hurt others and fail to instead engage in healthier ways.

I have just reached the bottom. Yeah, you were right. Right now I feel like I want to hurt others. UNBELIEVABLE what frustration can lead to. I'm chilling, I should be fine within couple of days. I got scared. Crazy things happen when you push it to the limit.

Good!! MisterPaul acting on anger can lead to ruin real quick. It’s better to step back until you calm down. Do that exercise I talked about because it really helps reduce the adrenaline.

I have watched people rage and in all honesty they just look like jerks. People don’t want to be around that. My sister does that and people don’t want to be around her. Too high drama.

People who have been through a lot may become dangerous when pushed to the limit.

Yes but it’s THEIR limit and we don’t know that. This is why I did not feel safe around my sister. And not just me because her attitude got bad and she got very entitled and prone to rages.

You have to learn your own sense of self control. You are still young yet so you can do it. There is always going to be jerks out there.