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Folder icon Do I get rid of everything my ex fiancé gave me?

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divine1966
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Default Apr 29, 2021 at 07:34 PM
  #21
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Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
From what you are saying, it sounds to me like you are still wanting a relationship with him. Is he saying he is willing to resume the relationship if you ‘apologize and make things right’? But, from what you describe about him, he sounds really bad for you (and for anyone).

The things he gave you are just things. If you like them, keep them. If they are upsetting you because they remind you of him, get rid of them.

If you are calling him, but he won’t take your calls, it sounds like you are pursuing him and still wanting a relationship. So, it’s confusing to me that it isn’t necessarily over, but you are debating getting rid of reminders.
It sounds that relationship is over, but leomama wants to rekindle it. He refuses to pick up the phone and she previously said he wouldn’t meet her in person either. So maybe by getting rid of things she’d have easier time to move on. Although things like towels and sheets don’t really have sentimental value imho. I don’t feel attachment to towels. Jewelry is different I think, even if inexpensive. Just my opinion of course
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Default Apr 29, 2021 at 08:12 PM
  #22
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Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
From what you are saying, it sounds to me like you are still wanting a relationship with him. Is he saying he is willing to resume the relationship if you ‘apologize and make things right’? But, from what you describe about him, he sounds really bad for you (and for anyone).

The things he gave you are just things. If you like them, keep them. If they are upsetting you because they remind you of him, get rid of them.

If you are calling him, but he won’t take your calls, it sounds like you are pursuing him and still wanting a relationship. So, it’s confusing to me that it isn’t necessarily over, but you are debating getting rid of reminders.

I ended it twice but when he told me bought a house in my city I thought he finally could deliver on his promise.

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Default Apr 29, 2021 at 08:41 PM
  #23
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I ended it twice but when he told me bought a house in my city I thought he finally could deliver on his promise.

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It sounds like he has no means to buy a house. He probably just told it to you to mess with your head? Does that sound like a likely possibility? He’s angry that you previously broke up with him, he knows you wanted him to be a person who supports himself (not homeless), so he’s taunting you by lying about having bought a home just to mess with you?

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Default Apr 29, 2021 at 08:50 PM
  #24
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Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
It sounds like he has no means to buy a house. He probably just told it to you to mess with your head? Does that sound like a likely possibility? He’s angry that you previously broke up with him, he knows you wanted him to be a person who supports himself (not homeless), so he’s taunting you by lying about having bought a home just to mess with you?

Well he claims to have had an apartment or two before he bought the house and he claims that he was able to cash in on some stocks and licensing. At any rate it doesn’t matter because he’s not going to get me asking him for forgiveness or unwinding anything I’ve done. Even when I tell him the things I regret he ignores me so I honestly don’t know what he’s looking for.

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Default Apr 29, 2021 at 10:06 PM
  #25
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Well he claims to have had an apartment or two before he bought the house and he claims that he was able to cash in on some stocks and licensing. At any rate it doesn’t matter because he’s not going to get me asking him for forgiveness or unwinding anything I’ve done. Even when I tell him the things I regret he ignores me so I honestly don’t know what he’s looking for.

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Look, I don't know all the particulars but considering he based everything off of lies...I don't know what he feels hurt by that you did, but, I don' even know how to explain it. He's gaslighting you. Manipulating you. I mean, this is just my opinion, but frankly he lies about being married and getting a divorce and whatever you've done I'm sure is small potatoes in comparison. It's like asking an assault victim to apologize to the assaulter for scratching them when defending themselves. Do you see what I mean?

Again, I don't know all the particulars, but that's the impression I get.


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Default May 01, 2021 at 06:58 AM
  #26
I do see what you mean and I agree. I broke it off the first time because he hadn’t filed for divorce yet and the second time because he was living in a shelter, and has lied to me about that too. Those are good reasons to end a relationship.

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Default May 01, 2021 at 02:36 PM
  #27
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I wasn't meaning "should" in a must-do kind of way. Leomama asked what she should do; it's the title of her thread.
What?! You lost me. I wasn't referring to you. I have no idea what you even said.

I am replying to the OP saying there are no prescribed ways to react. The should is mine as I meant there were no rules about how to behave, hence the apostrophes around my use of 'should'. Instead, any decision ought to be based on the OP's personal preference.
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Default May 01, 2021 at 02:57 PM
  #28
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What?! You lost me. I wasn't referring to you. I have no idea what you even said.

I am replying to the OP saying there are no prescribed ways to react. The should is mine as I meant there were no rules about how to behave, hence the apostrophes around my use of 'should'. Instead, any decision ought to be based on the OP's personal preference.
I see. Sorry I misread. I thought because you responded after me it was inline to respond to me. My mistake. Thank you for clarifying.

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Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

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Default May 01, 2021 at 08:57 PM
  #29
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Originally Posted by Rive. View Post
What?! You lost me. I wasn't referring to you. I have no idea what you even said.

I am replying to the OP saying there are no prescribed ways to react. The should is mine as I meant there were no rules about how to behave, hence the apostrophes around my use of 'should'. Instead, any decision ought to be based on the OP's personal preference.

I deliberately did not use the word should .

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Default May 01, 2021 at 10:27 PM
  #30
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Originally Posted by leomama View Post
I deliberately did not use the word should .

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Have you decided what you want to do yet?

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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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Default May 01, 2021 at 10:58 PM
  #31
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Have you decided what you want to do yet?

Yeah nothing, I’ve been living with his gifts forever over 2 years. Getting rid of them isn’t going to change anything.

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