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imaginethat
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Default May 16, 2021 at 07:17 PM
  #1
I've become very overweight, probably 80 lbs above what I'd like to be. This makes traveling very difficult. It's hard to walk through a large airport. The airpline seatbelt is really tight and I'm on the verge of asking for an extender. Ugh.

I'd like to go on trips with my friends or go visit them, but it's very difficult. Now with the COVID restrictions being slowly lifted, I can't use COVID as an excuse.

I haven't been able to lose a lot of weight. That's another story for another support group. Please don't tell me "just lose weight".

How can I explain to these friends that I can't visit them because I physically can't handle it? It's very embarrassing, not just the trouble with traveling but also with the idea that they'd see how big I've become.

Sure, these are good friends, but it's still embarrassing. And they're very thin, so I don't think they'll be able to understand.

Last edited by imaginethat; May 16, 2021 at 08:58 PM..
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Default May 17, 2021 at 05:01 PM
  #2
I understand. I have gained weight also. Especially when Im nervous or anxious and eat. I would like to lose 50 or so pounds.
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Default May 17, 2021 at 07:59 PM
  #3
I’d think good friends won’t judge you based on your weight.
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Default May 17, 2021 at 08:03 PM
  #4
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Originally Posted by imaginethat View Post
I've become very overweight, probably 80 lbs above what I'd like to be. This makes traveling very difficult. It's hard to walk through a large airport. The airpline seatbelt is really tight and I'm on the verge of asking for an extender. Ugh.

I'd like to go on trips with my friends or go visit them, but it's very difficult. Now with the COVID restrictions being slowly lifted, I can't use COVID as an excuse.

I haven't been able to lose a lot of weight. That's another story for another support group. Please don't tell me "just lose weight".

How can I explain to these friends that I can't visit them because I physically can't handle it? It's very embarrassing, not just the trouble with traveling but also with the idea that they'd see how big I've become.

Sure, these are good friends, but it's still embarrassing. And they're very thin, so I don't think they'll be able to understand.
I was obese at one point. I understand how hard it is to travel. Can you consider telling them you can't travel due to health concerns? It's actually the truth, as obesity is a health concern.

On the other hand - you are human. Just because you are obese does not make you any less human. You are allowed to travel and have fun and enjoy life. I hope you can maybe consider traveling regardless of your weight and doing what you need to in order to make yourself comfortable. Maybe flying in economy comfort, asking for that extender, and just be comfortable that your size is your size right now.

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Default May 17, 2021 at 09:29 PM
  #5
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Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
I’d think good friends won’t judge you based on your weight.
You're right. I guess I'm just embarrassed about myself and I'm projecting that feeling onto my friends.
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imaginethat
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Default May 17, 2021 at 09:40 PM
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Originally Posted by seesaw View Post
I was obese at one point. I understand how hard it is to travel. Can you consider telling them you can't travel due to health concerns? It's actually the truth, as obesity is a health concern.

On the other hand - you are human. Just because you are obese does not make you any less human. You are allowed to travel and have fun and enjoy life. I hope you can maybe consider traveling regardless of your weight and doing what you need to in order to make yourself comfortable. Maybe flying in economy comfort, asking for that extender, and just be comfortable that your size is your size right now.
Thank you for sharing your story, seesaw. It feels comforting that you understand. The idea of getting an economy comfort seat is good. I'll see how much extra that costs.

Sometimes I try to pay for a first class seat with my mileage points so that I get a bigger seat, but I only have so many points.

I do feel less than a human or at least a DEEPLY flawed human who doesn't fit into society. That's probably a conversation for another forum, or for a therapist.

Thanks again for sharing your thoughts.
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Default May 18, 2021 at 07:53 AM
  #7
I believe honesty is always the best policy.
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Default May 18, 2021 at 10:08 AM
  #8
So Sorry you have to put up with this! Please do not give up! Hugs! i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters! Be Honest and if they're true Friends they'll Hopefully understand what you want to say! Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @imaginethat, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!
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