People walking out on you

It’s official. Everyone I’ve ever looked up to eventually walked out on me. Every. Single. Person. Out of the blue, they suddenly stop being nice to me and stop liking me. People change I guess.

My GM got transferred to another McDonald’s store. Right until his last day at my current store, he stayed nice to me. He still stops by this store to borrow stuff for his new store. The last couple times he stopped by, he didn’t acknowledge me or said hi to me. Oh but he jokes around with my coworkers.

He’s behaving eerily similar to my former supervisor at Arby’s. How do I stop attracting bad luck and remove the curse from my life so people won’t turn against me anymore? I behave exactly like other people who looks up to someone but I’m getting worse results.

Ruby, you know that this not what happened. You know the behaviors you have done that pushed others to enforce boundaries with you. Re-read your old threads. It's not out of the blue. It's typically in response to an inappropriate behavior that you express to them. I know it's hard, and you are upset, and feel like people are being mean to you, and you need to re-read your threads and remember factually what happened. Actions have consequences. You know this. It's not bad luck. You do not "act like everyone else". Stalking is not what everyone else does. You need to face this or it will keep repeating.

I worked at my current store for 3 years with the same GM and I never once went in on my days off. Yet, it still seems to people that I’m “obsessed.”

I see by your other thread that you have bpd, have you tried DBT ? It could really help you with your dysfunctional thinking and acting out.

You've mentioned saying inappropriate things to this GM, like how much you'll miss him when he's on vacation and wanting to work when he's working. You've also asked him a lot of invasive questions, if I recall correctly. People likely think you're obsessed if you talk about someone else a lot.

Ruby it’s a big improvement that you didn’t go there in your days off. But you still did other things that most people would find inappropriate.

Continue working on learning appropriate communication with your superiors (and others), the best way to do it is describe these situations to your therapist and case worker every time it happens and let them role play with you. And other strategies.

It’s a life long learning process. But keep learning. No you don’t have bad luck or curse. You just need to keep learning appropriate behaviors

One of my coworkers who I already worked with for 3 years is starting to look down on me. Half an hour before I’m scheduled to get off, I asked my new GM (a girl) to let me go home. She said yes. I also privately said to my coworker that I need to go home bc I’m hurting really badly. She scoffed and said, “who doesn’t hurt you?”

As I was leaving, I told her I’m going to “nurse my wounds” and “recuperate.” That coworker turned to another girl and told her about me hurting because i been ignored by previous GM. So now I’m being looked down on for how much I’m hurting

Ruby, you really need to have a job coach with you to help with your inappropriate interactions with coworkers. Telling others that you are hurting, needing to nurse your wounds and recuperate because someone who no longer works there didn't interact with you (due to your previous inappropriate behavior) is really not okay. To put it bluntly, it is creepy and turns people off.

You are still minimizing your behavior with others by describing it as "looking up to" other people. You become fixated with 1 person and start requesting to work with them, tell them you miss them when you aren't working, etc. It makes people uncomfortable and it is not okay to speak like this to people you work with, especially when you have your past history.

Please speak to your therapist about this continued problem.

People suck. This GM I been referring to, he was nice to me on his last day at my current store. He’s even been nice and friendly towards me during the first 2 times he borrowed stuff from my store. Subsequent times, however, he’s been cold and distant while continuing to be outgoing with my coworkers. They may have relayed to him that I talked a lot about missing him like hell and that he took a part of me with him. Idk.

Three of my coworkers look down on me. I worked with them for 3 years and they only recently started looking down on me. Reason? Because I looked up to that GM and had a mental breakdown over him pushing me away. I used to get along with these girls but now I have to put up with their mean spirited crap for the past few weeks.

I remember the day they became like that, I asked to clock out an hour early and it was approved. As I was leaving I saw the disgusted look on their face. I had told them the GM traumatized me and I needed to nurse my wound. Now, several weeks later, I walked off my shift and got wrote up.

To be fair, I complained to coworkers every day about him traumatizing me. And I’m frequently starting to be a ***** to whoever happens to be in my way. I can’t handle my feelings anymore. When these 3 girls aren’t picking on the way I do my job, they’re teasing me about that GM just to see my reaction. They might say he stopped by when he didn’t really. Mostly they just don’t associate with me. It makes me extremely uncomfortable and I been putting up with it for several weeks. They caused me to cry at work just as much as that GM did.

Sounds eerily similar to Arby’s back then when some of my coworkers treat me weird.

And I’m scared for my job now that I got wrote up. Not to mention I was in constant tears my whole shift today and complained of panic attacks and fragility to my coworkers.

Also, did I mention I bite people’s head off occasionally? I’m jealous that the GM likes them and not me. I can’t handle my depressed feelings. Any many other reasons. Today, a coworker said good morning to me. Instead of greeting her back, I asked her where’s the food I need for a dine in order on counter. She handed me the bag and said sorry thought it was to go. Without saying a word, I dumped the contents of the bag onto the tray and threw the bag on the floor and brought the tray to the customer’s table. My coworker picked up the bag and threw it in the trash. That’s an example of how I’m like for the past few weeks.

I was never like that back when that GM liked me and gave a rats *****. Scared for my job

I am not going to repeat the same thing that been said many times before. I think you need more support in your employment as no matter how much better you are doing (and you are doing better) you run into the same issues and your understanding of events doesn’t change.

I have practical suggestions.

Speak to your case worker/disability services in your state/therapist about:
1. Getting into supported employment situation (having job coach on the job assignment with you )
2. Getting into job field that is something different than fast food/customer service etc
3. Inform your case worker that you need more help
4. Enroll in your states vocational disability services (if aren’t enrolled now due to being employed) and request more vocational support

I’m just disturbed by the fact that I’m no longer accepted by a handful of coworkers. And prolly even more will also stop accepting me. It’s just a matter of time

Ruby, your behavior with this GM is borderline stalker. People don't like feeling stalked and obsessed over. You need to work with your therapist and case worker to find a different kind of work and on respecting other people's boundaries.

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Why should my coworkers look down on me? The same time that GM walked out on me, these girls started acting disgusted to be around me. I been putting up with this for several weeks until it culminated in me constantly crying and complaining of panic attacks and fragility yesterday. And complaining about that GM of course. Not a day have gone by that I don’t talk about him to my coworkers who hasn’t yet looked down on me.

My main complaint this time is the handful of coworkers who are treating me differently than they used to. Why did they have to become like that when the way they were before was just fine? Matter of fact, given I used to get along with them, why couldn’t they be sympathetic instead of borderline hateful?

I have 2 guy coworkers who put me back together whenever I fall apart. These girls on the other hand are *****es to me.

That’s why I recommend you follow my suggestions re more support in your employment situation

Do you belong to local and/or national Autism associations/support organizations/forums? If not, I’ll send you links. It would help to know your state or at least region

Southwest missouri

So Sorry you're going through this! Please do not give up! i think i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters about contacting a therapist or requesting support. There's nothing to be ashamed of in asking for Help at least i think so. It does seem like you may need some Help or Support. Please try not to take any of this too personally. Hopefully things will improve soon for everyone. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @ruby2011, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

Southwest Missouri Autism Project | dmh.mo.gov

Are you involved with them in any shape or form?

None at all