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Old 05-26-2021, 01:00 PM   #1
Icedgem
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Default How to deal with tricky neighbor

We are having an extension built on our house. We sought planning permission to which the neighbor did not challenge. We have knocked on the door and explained there will be noise and disruption for a few weeks etc.

The neighbor next door moans about the noise and banging. About cars coming and going and skips being delivered etc. We are very courteous, don't start work too early or too late, don't work weekends etc, no bonfire's.

He came again today to say the workman's music was too loud.

I'm really starting to loose it. I've been so polite with this man. I'm now concerned he will moan and complain when we are enjoying our garden with the children or want to play music etc.

All advice welcome
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Old 05-26-2021, 04:16 PM   #2
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Default Re: How to deal with tricky neighbor

What is your opinion about the volume of the music?

Reasonable construction noise comes with the territory, I would be civil but ignore his complaints about that. Perhaps say that things will be back to normal in X weeks according to the current plan.

With regard to your post-construction future: I would cross that bridge when I come to it.
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Old 05-27-2021, 01:32 AM   #3
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Default Re: How to deal with tricky neighbor

Quote:
Originally Posted by Icedgem View Post
We are having an extension built on our house. We sought planning permission to which the neighbor did not challenge. We have knocked on the door and explained there will be noise and disruption for a few weeks etc.

The neighbor next door moans about the noise and banging. About cars coming and going and skips being delivered etc. We are very courteous, don't start work too early or too late, don't work weekends etc, no bonfire's.

He came again today to say the workman's music was too loud.

I'm really starting to loose it. I've been so polite with this man. I'm now concerned he will moan and complain when we are enjoying our garden with the children or want to play music etc.

All advice welcome

Man thatís a tough spot. Iím going to sound cold or callous or unfeeling by seeing this. But as long as it doesnít violate any noise ordinances and youíve taken the proper considerations f the neighbor if he doesnít like it. You can explain that to him nicer but the fact is no matter how annoying the noise is from a neighbor we have to tolerate it when it does not violate a noise ordinance. I have one neighbor who no kidding mows his lawn every time we have dinner outside whether itís 6 oíclock or 730 and it drives me crazy but I donít say anything. And if you received approval from the town I donít see any problem.

Regarding the music: itís possible to ask your contractor or whomever to turn down the music but technically if it doesnít violate any noise ordinance or some kind of decibel rating that the cops would be called itís just one of those things. In fact if you think about it that kind of work is hard manual labor I personally would like to listen to my music as well.

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Old 05-27-2021, 04:01 AM   #4
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Default Re: How to deal with tricky neighbor

Neighbours, don't you just love them!

Icedgem, you've done everything you can to ensure your neighbour knows what's going on. If he had no objection to your building work before it started, then he shouldn't be complaining now. Workmen like their music, although they should often be wearing ear defenders.....

Problem with mine is they're a couple with 17 month old child. Walls are very thin, can even hear both of them peeing! The guy is working from home. Despite his deafness, he's really quiet until around 4pm when he starts his chores before wife gets home. Main problem is washing machine on until 1030-11pm and it's not quiet, now making horrible noise. She's the one who bangs doors, drawers. Did it so loud about 5am the other morning, she woke the child so had high pitched crying/screaming.

Having nothing against people renting properties, but can't wait for them to move
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Old 06-18-2021, 03:40 AM   #5
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Default Re: How to deal with tricky neighbor

This is still happening and really making me so anxious.
We had our kitchen delivered and the neighbor came out and moaned that the delivery driver was parked outside his house (not restricting access) and that they were too loud with the delivery.

This is really getting me down, we haven't even probably moved in yet due to the works and hoping to this weekend but I'm just so anxious this man will make it his business to moan and complain about everything we do.

Sorry, just need to vent
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Old 06-18-2021, 04:09 AM   #6
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Default Re: How to deal with tricky neighbor

Perhaps he's a serial complainer.

He may not like change or had a great relationship with the people who lived there before you.

Maybe when the work is finished and the dust settled (sorry for the bad joke), you could buy him a small gift. A gesture to acknowledge the inconvenience. Will be up to him then if he keeps same attitude or becomes friendlier.
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Old 06-18-2021, 05:31 PM   #7
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Default Re: How to deal with tricky neighbor

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Originally Posted by Icedgem View Post
This is still happening and really making me so anxious.
We had our kitchen delivered and the neighbor came out and moaned that the delivery driver was parked outside his house (not restricting access) and that they were too loud with the delivery.

This is really getting me down, we haven't even probably moved in yet due to the works and hoping to this weekend but I'm just so anxious this man will make it his business to moan and complain about everything we do.

Sorry, just need to vent

Seriously though F him ! There are noise ordinances whenever youíre starts it doesnít matter if youíre doing work or you want to cut the lawn where you want to Shout and holler in your front yard itís your business. Personally I think the way he is acting is borderline harassment. You have every right to tell him how it is and not to bother you about it anymore. If he keeps it up you can tell him you view it as a resident and he should not speak to you anymore about it. I know you donít want to make enemies of neighbors but this guy is completely unreasonable in my opinion.

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Old 06-18-2021, 06:10 PM   #8
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Default Re: How to deal with tricky neighbor

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I'm just so anxious this man will make it his business to moan and complain about everything we do
It is on him if he can't accept the normal sounds of living in a community.

If you have to limit contact with him, so be it, that is on him.
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Old 07-06-2021, 03:06 PM   #9
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Default Re: How to deal with tricky neighbor

Quote:
Originally Posted by Icedgem View Post
We are having an extension built on our house. We sought planning permission to which the neighbor did not challenge. We have knocked on the door and explained there will be noise and disruption for a few weeks etc.

The neighbor next door moans about the noise and banging. About cars coming and going and skips being delivered etc. We are very courteous, don't start work too early or too late, don't work weekends etc, no bonfire's.

He came again today to say the workman's music was too loud.

I'm really starting to loose it. I've been so polite with this man. I'm now concerned he will moan and complain when we are enjoying our garden with the children or want to play music etc.

All advice welcome
Iím so sorry that you had to experience this. He sound like he is very miserable about himself. Have you thought about getting a lawyer and asking for legal advice just in case the neighbor try to start something with you?
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Old 07-06-2021, 03:07 PM   #10
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Default Re: How to deal with tricky neighbor

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3 View Post
What is your opinion about the volume of the music?

Reasonable construction noise comes with the territory, I would be civil but ignore his complaints about that. Perhaps say that things will be back to normal in X weeks according to the current plan.

With regard to your post-construction future: I would cross that bridge when I come to it.
That is great advice
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Old 07-06-2021, 03:36 PM   #11
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Default Re: How to deal with tricky neighbor

The delivery and construction noise is something that they just have to deal with in my opinion. I live in a new housing community and a lot of neighbors have had workmen doing various things to personalize their home. We had guys working here for a few days making noise.

I think it's reasonable to ask the workmen to tone down the music a bit, though. We had a guy doing work next door for weeks that played the music pretty loud and it got annoying. He must have had one of those portable speakers with his personal mix on a USB drive. It was the same 90s dance music for 3 weeks, while my husband and I were working from home.
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Old 07-06-2021, 04:21 PM   #12
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Default Re: How to deal with tricky neighbor

It seems like you'v already explained calmy what was going on to him. i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters that if you're respecting the rules then there's not much that he can do about that. i also don't think there are other things you can personally do other than repeat what you have said. Try not to let these comments bother you so much. Hopefully things will improve really soon for everyone. Try to do what you need to do. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Icedgem, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!
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Old 07-06-2021, 04:29 PM   #13
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Default Re: How to deal with tricky neighbor

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The delivery and construction noise is something that they just have to deal with in my opinion. I live in a new housing community and a lot of neighbors have had workmen doing various things to personalize their home. We had guys working here for a few days making noise.

I think it's reasonable to ask the workmen to tone down the music a bit, though. We had a guy doing work next door for weeks that played the music pretty loud and it got annoying. He must have had one of those portable speakers with his personal mix on a USB drive. It was the same 90s dance music for 3 weeks, while my husband and I were working from home.
I was going to comment basically this. The construction isn't forever. Having been through this as the neighbor, I do understand that living next to construction isn't something you agree to when you move in. So you could acknowledge that the noise is an inconvenience to him, at least. You are right you have done everything correctly. But that doesn't mean that the noise, at whatever time of day, isn't an inconvenience. So just try to remember and have some compassion that he's living next door to a construction site right now, and it may not be that pleasant for him. I wouldn't expect that he will continue to complain after it's over.

Regarding the music, that's a little much. If I'm working from home, not only do I have to listen to construction all day while I'm working but now the person's music too?

Just saying, this is a little bit of a situation where you both are right. You are right that you have gotten all the permits and permissions to do the construction, and he's right that it's inconveniencing him. At a certain point you can only do what you can do.

You're going to live next to this person for a while, so I don't think an F U attitude is going to be productive. Someone else suggested reminding him when you will be done. I'd just stick to that. "I apologize for the inconvenience, we will be done by X date. I appreciate your patience." I think that's your mantra.

(And I would ask the construction workers to turn down or nix the music.)
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Old 07-06-2021, 10:13 PM   #14
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Default Re: How to deal with tricky neighbor

I'm going to go with SarahS. Obey the local noise ordinances, and screw his whining. I don't think you can please this guy.

It's a shame you've invested in this property, and he's part of the package. Maybe you can come around to his good side by doing something nice for him down the line. You know - kill him with kindness. I have a neighbor who whines about everything. Her real problem is that she's lonely. We've had our ups and downs. Trying to placate a whiner can be a thankless task.

He may be an attention seeker. Be courteous, but business-like. I would minimize the time I would spend verbally engaged with him. He sounds like quite a fool. Being on decent terms with nextdoor neighbors is so important to the quiet enjoyment of one's home. He must be a basically unhappy man who has given up on having a satisfying, peaceful life.
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Old 07-11-2021, 02:27 PM   #15
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Default Re: How to deal with tricky neighbor

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post


Man thatís a tough spot. Iím going to sound cold or callous or unfeeling by seeing this. But as long as it doesnít violate any noise ordinances and youíve taken the proper considerations f the neighbor if he doesnít like it. You can explain that to him nicer but the fact is no matter how annoying the noise is from a neighbor we have to tolerate it when it does not violate a noise ordinance. I have one neighbor who no kidding mows his lawn every time we have dinner outside whether itís 6 oíclock or 730 and it drives me crazy but I donít say anything. And if you received approval from the town I donít see any problem.

Regarding the music: itís possible to ask your contractor or whomever to turn down the music but technically if it doesnít violate any noise ordinance or some kind of decibel rating that the cops would be called itís just one of those things. In fact if you think about it that kind of work is hard manual labor I personally would like to listen to my music as well.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
That is great advice.
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