[mssweatypalms]

I've posted before about this guy I was obsessed with for 3 years. I'm gonna call him M. M is not one of my exes I previously mentioned in my posts. He's just a guy I hung out and had fun with before and eventually formed an unhealthy attachment to. Anyway, I already stopped talking to him, but I didn't properly say my goodbyes. I did that a couple of times in the past. I sent him long messages on how I was not gonna talk to him again, but I still did. I didn't want to do it this time because I thought I would end up doing the same thing, so I just said I was really sick and I can't text him. He replied, "just text me whenever you feel better." I never texted back because I'm planning to tell him I don't want to talk to him anymore when I'm not depressed. But today, he sent me a message on my work phone saying "hi" and "how are you." (I'm guessing because I was not texting from my personal number.) I forgot that I gave him my work phone number (stupid, I know). With my stability hanging by a thread right now, I don't want to do anything that will surely upset me. If I say "Let's not talk anymore." and he asks why, that will trigger a lot of negative emotions. I left the messages "unseen."

I never want to ghost people because I don't like it being done to me. I have no intentions of talking to M again (aside from when I say I don't want to talk again.) In this case, it is okay to just ghost him? Because I don't know when I'm going to recover from depression.

I'm pretty sensitive right now, so I'm anxious about posting this. I just don't know what to do, though.

[indigo1015]

Me personally, I have no tolerance for ghosters in any situation. Period. I know it’s not the most tactful thing to say right now, but honestly, it only takes a minute to just text him and say that you aren’t interested in continuing the conversation. It’s not that taxing, and since you say you wouldn’t want it done to you, why would you do it to someone else?

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[Bill3]

It sounds like your concern is that when he replies you will keep talking even though you don't want to.

What if you concisely say you don't want to talk anymore, tell him you are blocking him, and then immediately block him completely on all platforms? So that you don't see messages from him?

[mssweatypalms]

I just know him enough to expect that he would ask why and I don’t want to explain. He might even try to call and I want to avoid that.

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[mssweatypalms]

Originally Posted by Bill3

It sounds like your concern is that when he replies you will keep talking even though you don't want to.

What if you concisely say you don't want to talk anymore, tell him you are blocking him, and then immediately block him completely on all platforms? So that you don't see messages from him?

Exactly. That’s what I’m avoiding. Thanks a lot for this idea. It isn’t bad if I put it this way.

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[mssweatypalms]

Problem solved. I took Bill3’s advice.

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[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Bill3

It sounds like your concern is that when he replies you will keep talking even though you don't want to.

What if you concisely say you don't want to talk anymore, tell him you are blocking him, and then immediately block him completely on all platforms? So that you don't see messages from him?

I agree with this, good post.

I also dislike being ghosted (who does like it, I guess)

Hugs and respect to you mssweatypalms. I'm glad you posted this and shared!

[Alive99]

Originally Posted by mssweatypalms

Exactly. That’s what I’m avoiding. Thanks a lot for this idea. It isn’t bad if I put it this way.

Yeah, you told him before that you want to stop contact (even if you didn't keep to that plan before), so I think it's ok doing it like this.

[mssweatypalms]

Originally Posted by indigo1015

Me personally, I have no tolerance for ghosters in any situation. Period. I know it’s not the most tactful thing to say right now, but honestly, it only takes a minute to just text him and say that you aren’t interested in continuing the conversation. It’s not that taxing, and since you say you wouldn’t want it done to you, why would you do it to someone else?

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This is just me addressing my feelings because my mind keeps on coming back to this for some reason. I'm really thankful for any replies, but honestly this comment offended me because I feel like my post was not fully read and understood. I was very upset and confused when I posted this and I feel judged. I know this was not the intention but this is how I feel.

Anyway, I just had to let that out. I know that you guys just want to help and I really appreciate it. Now I can forget about it.

@indigo1015 I saw your thread and I hope you're feeling better now.

[Britedark]

Originally Posted by mssweatypalms

This is just me addressing my feelings because my mind keeps on coming back to this for some reason. I'm really thankful for any replies, but honestly this comment offended me because I feel like my post was not fully read and understood. I was very upset and confused when I posted this and I feel judged. I know this was not the intention but this is how I feel.

Anyway, I just had to let that out. I know that you guys just want to help and I really appreciate it. Now I can forget about it.

@indigo1015 I saw your thread and I hope you're feeling better now.

I have no intention of starting a fight or disrespecting anybody. I just want to show you some support and put in my two cents.

I am guilty of ghosting certain people. I don’t know if your problem is the same as mine. The thing with me is, I tolerate people up to the point where I simply can't. Anymore. I tell that to them. I complain for a long time and then I let them know I am not interested in seeing them anymore. But. They. Don't. Listen. "Why not? What have I done wrong? Why are you ruining a good thing? Tell me what I need to do different? (Told them a thousand times but they didn't care to listen)" At that point I have no energy left to give any sort of justification for my action. I just want them gone and my mental peace restored. With certain people, ghosting is the only option. If none of this resonates with you please feel free to disregard this post. Hugs.

[indigo1015]

Originally Posted by mssweatypalms

This is just me addressing my feelings because my mind keeps on coming back to this for some reason. I'm really thankful for any replies, but honestly this comment offended me because I feel like my post was not fully read and understood. I was very upset and confused when I posted this and I feel judged. I know this was not the intention but this is how I feel.

Anyway, I just had to let that out. I know that you guys just want to help and I really appreciate it. Now I can forget about it.

@indigo1015 I saw your thread and I hope you're feeling better now.

Thank you for the good wishes— I’m sorry if my comment offended you. Ghosting is a sensitive subject for me because people have done it to me a lot, so I don’t really tolerate any justification of it. I’m sorry if it came over a bit harsh.

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[MickeyCheeky]

i think simply writing a message saying that you're not interested in further communication should suffice. If he Still insists you can decline to answer as i think it is your right. Of Course decide by yourself what to do. It seems like you've already did that Anyway. i Hope things will Improve really soon for everyone. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to ALL of you, @mssweatypalms, your Families, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[indigo1015]

Originally Posted by Britedark

I have no intention of starting a fight or disrespecting anybody. I just want to show you some support and put in my two cents.

I am guilty of ghosting certain people. I don’t know if your problem is the same as mine. The thing with me is, I tolerate people up to the point where I simply can't. Anymore. I tell that to them. I complain for a long time and then I let them know I am not interested in seeing them anymore. But. They. Don't. Listen. "Why not? What have I done wrong? Why are you ruining a good thing? Tell me what I need to do different? (Told them a thousand times but they didn't care to listen)" At that point I have no energy left to give any sort of justification for my action. I just want them gone and my mental peace restored. With certain people, ghosting is the only option. If none of this resonates with you please feel free to disregard this post. Hugs.

I can appreciate what you say, actually. At that point, if you’ve done everything you can and at least you’ve said something and they aren’t listening, it’s on them. I’d block them if i were in that situation.

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[mssweatypalms]

Originally Posted by indigo1015

Thank you for the good wishes— I’m sorry if my comment offended you. Ghosting is a sensitive subject for me because people have done it to me a lot, so I don’t really tolerate any justification of it. I’m sorry if it came over a bit harsh.

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[indigo1015]

Originally Posted by mssweatypalms

*hug*

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[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by mssweatypalms

I've posted before about this guy I was obsessed with for 3 years. I'm gonna call him M. M is not one of my exes I previously mentioned in my posts. He's just a guy I hung out and had fun with before and eventually formed an unhealthy attachment to. Anyway, I already stopped talking to him, but I didn't properly say my goodbyes. I did that a couple of times in the past. I sent him long messages on how I was not gonna talk to him again, but I still did. I didn't want to do it this time because I thought I would end up doing the same thing, so I just said I was really sick and I can't text him. He replied, "just text me whenever you feel better." I never texted back because I'm planning to tell him I don't want to talk to him anymore when I'm not depressed. But today, he sent me a message on my work phone saying "hi" and "how are you." (I'm guessing because I was not texting from my personal number.) I forgot that I gave him my work phone number (stupid, I know). With my stability hanging by a thread right now, I don't want to do anything that will surely upset me. If I say "Let's not talk anymore." and he asks why, that will trigger a lot of negative emotions. I left the messages "unseen."

I never want to ghost people because I don't like it being done to me. I have no intentions of talking to M again (aside from when I say I don't want to talk again.) In this case, it is okay to just ghost him? Because I don't know when I'm going to recover from depression.

I'm pretty sensitive right now, so I'm anxious about posting this. I just don't know what to do, though.

I hate when people ghost. I would just explained to him that you can’t talk to him anymore than block his number. I would find some counseling just to find out what cause your obsession. This will help your depression if you can have someone that you feel safe to talk with.