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Kelly68
my rainbow is overdue
Member Since: May 2021
Location: Earth
Posts: 137
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#21
I used to go to church. That's another reason I liked him, but we differ slightly on our beliefs. I still got to hand it to him for all the support he gave me, even if he didn't drive to see me often. There's a reason for that too, like privacy. I live in a house with other roomates and it's awkward, we both agreed on that to be intimate and private about talks and things. There's no support groups in my town and with covid even my psychiatrist has been on phone calls only since what seems like forever now. So a year and a half without having seen him. I sure hope covid opens up opportunities both with my job and with groups I might like. Thanks again for all the support from you guys
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Bill3, Have Hope, TishaBuv
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Member
Kelly68
my rainbow is overdue
Member Since: May 2021
Location: Earth
Posts: 137
156 hugs
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#22
I'm still thinking about him. Another thing he did was make it seem like I need common sense advice. Maybe I did but I don't think so. I did change since I met him, I never felt like looking feminine or wearing dresses. I don't feel good in my body, and I was body shamed by the last guy I was with. That's hard to get out of my head, how the last guy I was with made me feel awful about my body. This guy is just honest. He didn't body shame me.
I don't know who said in here, that this guy is not a good one. I don't know what that's based on. So, I chose to drive to see him, so what.. I like to get out on my own. I'm not in love with him, but I love him. What's wrong with that? And I've no place of my own that's private. I'm not worried about this, but I do think of him and I wish he'd ask me over again, or come this way to do something with me. I'm guessing that's not going to happen. I don't know what's so bad about a man that upfront told me he wouldn't be able to have a relationship because his plans are to move to another country? If I want a warm body, and a man that doesn't want to have commitment of any kind, so what? I've been married, that went horribly. I had a long relationship with a man who insisted he was in love with me, well no one that loves a woman would treat me the way he did. I'll wait...... if I hear nothing I'm still ok, but I love him. Who says there's some kind of rule to follow.... he's already mentioned something about the games women play with texting... he's ancient, he's been around, he knows how women react. He's probably thinking I'm too attached and is distancing himself. That's good.. I'd hate to find out he thought I needed him for something. He also works sometimes on the weekends. He did kind of date me, he did pay for meals, I've forgotten a lot. He was my friend for almost a year, well more with texting, and we just tried having sex lately. Maybe I'm not what he's looking for that way. I'm ok, I feel like it's time to cut my hair short and wear rollers lol. I'm too old for games. |
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leomama
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Have Hope
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#23
I don’t quite understand then the point or objective of your thread? If you’re fine with things as they are then what were you hoping to get out of this thread?
People here are only just telling you what they see, based on what you’ve posted. If you’re fine with being the one to make all the trips and if you’re fine that he doesn’t want to see you on the weekends and if you’re fine with the fact that it can’t go anywhere further, then that’s great. Enjoy it. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Kelly68
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Kelly68, Rive.
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Member
Kelly68
my rainbow is overdue
Member Since: May 2021
Location: Earth
Posts: 137
156 hugs
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#24
I don't even understand why I made the thread, I've been very moody and it could be that I'm in withdrawal and confused, I guess I do like to hear what someone else thinks, but I still have to figure out what I'm doing for myself.
He hasn't texted anyways, I guess I knew I was doing something stupid, and I think I ruin things on my own, even knowing I'm doing it. I don't make sense, I hope I didn't waste anyones time with this. |
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eskielover, Have Hope, TishaBuv
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leomama
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TishaBuv
It’s mostly them, and somewhat me.
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#25
Anyone reading and posting is here because they want to be.
Sometimes just writing out your thoughts helps you see things more clearly. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Kelly68, leomama
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hvert
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#26
You are giving me flashbacks to one of my exes and another who I guess I'd call a 'never was.' Some people and relationships are really hard to quit even when you know they are going nowhere because the other person has been 100% upfront. I think it gets confusing when what they do is a little bit different from what they say.
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Kelly68
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Kelly68, leomama
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Have Hope
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#27
Quote:
And yes, you do need to figure it out for yourself. We all do, in the end. People's opinions can take us only so far, but then we have to decide for ourselves. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Kelly68, leomama, Rose76
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eskielover
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#28
He's been up front with you & told you he doesn't want a relationship. Stop sitting around hoping that will change & deal with the reality of what is. Seriously "desperate" is unbecoming at any age
__________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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Kelly68
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Kelly68, leomama
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leomama
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#29
Quote:
Ruin things on your own? I can totally relate to your struggle . Did you read my thread about my ex fiancé ? He told me he’s with nobody else yet it’s been since Thursday at 11pm that he texted and Friday at midnight that he called. Yeah he called me three times friday at midnight and left me three messages. Insists there’s never been another . Yet never answers his phone . So what advice would you give me? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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Kelly68
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Kelly68
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Member
Kelly68
my rainbow is overdue
Member Since: May 2021
Location: Earth
Posts: 137
156 hugs
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#30
Quote:
I did say I was seeming desperate, but there's borderline there. He was always good with everything. But yeah, if I ever seem needy that's a complete turn off. I don't think I did much, except this last text. But I just thought I'd mention I was going around his way. I'm fine, sure if I don't see him again I'll miss him, but i know that day is coming and that's the reality with any kind of relationship, anything can happen. I could be in an accident tomorrow and die. I'd like to get as much fun out of life while I can. THanks for the way you come across eskielover, it isn't exactly nice and it sounds judgemental. Last edited by Kelly68; Jun 16, 2021 at 05:22 PM.. |
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leomama
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Member
Kelly68
my rainbow is overdue
Member Since: May 2021
Location: Earth
Posts: 137
156 hugs
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#31
And I'm quite in reality, I'm not sitting around in dreamland with a fantasy that this is anything other than what it's been. I think in a previous post I made it quite clear that I'm good with whatever happens. I said a prayer for him, and I've asked God to give me an answer as to what to do. As far as I think that is concerned, God is fine with me continuing to see him, but definitely not running my own financial resources dry by driving to him. He'll come my way, that's what I believe. The highest form of love is called Phileo.... Christian love for one another is the highest form of love that Jesus taught us to have. Sorry if religion is offensive to anyone, but this is the first Christian man I've had in my life, and I'm sure I'm not done with this man yet. Sorry I seemed reactive to your post @eskielover It just seemed too blunt.
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Grand Magnate
leomama
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#32
Quote:
I wasn’t saying you were borderline , I was suggesting your boyfriend was. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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Kelly68
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Kelly68
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divine1966
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#33
I like how you said you want to have as much fun as possible. There is nothing wrong with having fun. I think it would be more fun hanging out with people you can have fun with though. Don’t even need to be romantic. Friendships and casual encounters with people are fun. It doesn’t seem much fun though if you never see this person or talk to. It doesn’t sound like fun.
It’s good to find people who share the same faith. Unfortunately if he is not engaged in conversations and meetings with you his faith isn’t as relevant to the situation. He has to be on the same page with you for it to matter. There are many religious men out there who’d be interested in romantic relationships with women of the same faith and for whom faith is important. He isn’t interested though Have you considered making friends in your area? |
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Kelly68
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Member
Kelly68
my rainbow is overdue
Member Since: May 2021
Location: Earth
Posts: 137
156 hugs
given |
#34
Quote:
He has a way of making me feel good. The comment about his past gf being as smart as a whip, is just a passing comment. She was bulemic, don't know if I spelled that right, and he tried to help her before she died. I guess he couldn't understand how she was quite smart but couldn't see she was killing herself slowly. He's already said he knows I'm smart, whether it be musically inclined or what.. he wasn't sure. So he hasn't been anything other than a good influence in my life. My withdrawal isn't about love, sex or that, it's opiods that are prescribed for pain, so I'm quite moody and react to quickly to comments. Thanks again. If I could help you leomama I would, I don't know an answer. Maybe the ex fiance needs to know you're single, and not involved anymore. Maybe there is a future with him in store for you. I wish you all the best. |
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Member
Kelly68
my rainbow is overdue
Member Since: May 2021
Location: Earth
Posts: 137
156 hugs
given |
#35
Quote:
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Grand Magnate
leomama
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Location: USA
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#36
Quote:
Thanks. I wasn’t so much asking for your help as in pointing out similarities in our stories . The ex fiancé has his own set of issues . I think you would benefit the most from the thrive after abuse website and YouTube channel . She also has a Facebook group . |
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Kelly68
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Kelly68
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mssweatypalms
is searching for something.
Member Since: May 2021
Location: middle of nowhere
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#37
Quote:
After a month, I went out with another guy who quickly got rid of me after 2 months. I was still texting that guy I met online and one day I decided to visit him abroad because I was actually dying to see him even though I knew it meant nothing. He came back to my country and I was happy about it. A few months later, he texted me saying he has a girlfriend. It really broke my heart because he was the one always saying that he didn't believe in love. I just said congratulations and I was happy for him. It's ridiculous but I felt like, was I worth anything to anyone? I realize how stupid it is now. Months passed and he suddenly told me that he broke up with his girlfriend. I was also dating someone else. What really hurt me was when he said they've been together for 2 years. That's even before we met, so I told him I was very angry about him lying to me. He said sorry and I accepted it. I couldn't let him go even though I was so upset. I hated myself for it. They got back together after a while and he asked me to do something for him and his girlfriend believing that I would do that as a friend. I declined and stopped talking to him. Then, COVID happened. I thought I was infected when my dad got it, so I thought I can't die without talking to him for the last time. Ever since then, we started texting again and it became more and more often. Every single day we exchanged messages and pictures. We sometimes even call each other. I never asked about the girlfriend. I knew we were just friends, though. I was just happy and thought I'd just enjoy this while it lasted. Just last month, he started telling me about his girlfriend again and even though I thought I'd forgotten about the hurt, I realized I didn't. It triggered my depression. I forgot to mention it earlier, but he was the reason my depression was triggered 3 times in the past 3 years. Then, he started telling me that I should move on from the past and find a boyfriend. He said that my life shouldn't stop just because I had a bad experience before, and the "worst" that could happen if I get hurt again is that I get a panic attack. I was furious because over the past few years, he never actually listened to my struggles with depression and just believed it was a panic attack. And so, I decided to end my stupidity. For almost a month now, I stopped talking to him. I thought of just ghosting him, but that's very immature. He was asking me what was wrong and I just told him I was sick. I also told him it'll take time for me to recover, so I won't be texting him. It was vague but I figured he understood what I meant. I let go and I'd never go back. I knew right from the start that there was nothing between us, but I was just obsessed with him. Now, I'm better without him. I don't miss the texts or calls anymore. I don't feel anything for him anymore. I think it's better to let go of people who are never meant for us. |
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Kelly68
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Kelly68, leomama
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Grand Magnate
leomama
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#38
Quote:
Wow that’s quite a story and I’m sorry! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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mssweatypalms
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Legendary Wise Elder
divine1966
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#39
When people say they don’t believe in love, it’s their subtle way to let you know they just aren’t into you in that way. That’s often the case with “not believing in marriage or not believing in commitment etc “ They do when they meet the right person. When someone says such thing it’s time to move on and move on quick
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Kelly68, leomama, mssweatypalms
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Member
Kelly68
my rainbow is overdue
Member Since: May 2021
Location: Earth
Posts: 137
156 hugs
given |
#40
Yes I agree with you divine
I do think that was a big hint. I shouldn't be texting him but I am, he's so different,. There's that something about him that I can't describe. I want to stay in touch, and if he'll come my way someday that would be nice. We'll see. Thanks to the other people here for sharing your stories. Much appreciated! |
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leomama
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