Do you think looks are more important than personality when it comes to relationships

divine1966 · Jun 20, 2021 at 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigBubba

Right. They see my confidence before I open my mouth. They see my confidence when I walk past them on the street. They see my confidence when I'm sitting at the bar and staring at the wall when they're 20 feet away. That's some deeper level of BS, no offense.

Let me gain few pounds, ignore my skin care routine for two weeks and wear some random clothes and then we'll see how far my confidence's gonna get me

Not taking care of your skin, dressing badly and in some cases (not all as weight is more complex than that) neglecting your health/diet routine isn’t really about looks. It mostly sends people message that you can’t care less about anything.

Ignoring skin care for two weeks is a “life style” and “hygiene” issue, not “looks” issue. It’s about how you carry yourself. You can have the most perfect body and facial feature but if you ignore basic health routine and refuse to groom yourself, then your issue is not “looks”. Size of my nose or my height for example I can’t control. Dressing in random clothes or or washing my face I sure can control

Werewoman · Jun 20, 2021 at 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigBubba

I'm 26 and I'm not a big fan of long-term relationships so I've been around the block for few years now.

When I was out of shape I had to lead, big time. Girl asking me one question in first 30 minutes was super rare. I even got spit on once lol

When I shaped up and took care of my skin and invested lots of money into my style, I got great results with very little effort. Still, when I showed up on a party with a friend of mine who's looks like a model I wasn nothing more than his shadow to all women in the room.

Yes, its about attraction and looks.

Well, what do I know?
I've been married longer than you've been alive.

Its more important to focus on compatibility. You have to be friends first. Maybe your problem isn't your looks. It could be your attitude towards yourself. If you like yourself and are self confidedent it shows in the way you carry yourself and women notice that.

On the most primitive level, men want women who will be good breeders and the women want the strongest men as providers for them and their children.

BigBubba · Jun 20, 2021 at 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Werewoman

I've been married longer than you've been alive.

And? I'm talking about laws of attraction and it's likely I've been on dating battlefield longer than you since, as I said before, I'm not a relationship kind of guy. Marriage is much different.

BigBubba · Jun 20, 2021 at 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

Not taking care of your skin, dressing badly and in some cases (not all as weight is more complex than that) neglecting your health/diet routine isn’t really about looks. It mostly sends people message that you can’t care less about anything

I didn't say to dress badly, I said to wear random clothes (nothing special).

I didn't say don't take care of your skin. I was talking about taking care of my post-acne routines that keep my skin in great shape.

Neglecting my diet? I was talking about gaining few pounds just so I won't have classic muscular body type, but more average/random.

These three have nothing to do with the message you're talking about and trust me - they make a DIFFERENCE. If you don't believe it, be aware of today's girls in mid 20s. They care about it a lot.

BigBubba · Jun 20, 2021 at 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Werewoman

Maybe your problem isn't your looks.

What kind of a problem do I have?

I'm just saying that looks are very very important and I'm explaining why.

leomama · Jun 20, 2021 at 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

How do looks get in the way of happiness? I am a good looking woman and come from long line of good looking people (although it changes with age of course) it never interfere in our happiness in any shape or form and why would it? I am not making a connection here. Some good looking people are happy and some aren’t but not because of looks

I’m sorry my writing didn’t make sense to you.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

poshgirl · Jun 20, 2021 at 04:21 PM

This is a difficult subject. Feel I could be very controversial with what I say here.

Having both in equal measure would be ideal, but life isn't like that. How we are "wired" means we have different priorities and as we age, they may change. So now I'm going to give the personal opinion of a single female, mature in age.

I think there needs to be "something". A sparkle in their eyes and a nice smile. Am I bothered about eye or hair colour, no. I prefer guys with hair, sorry the shaved look doesn't do it for me. Nor do tattoos or earrings. I like a guy to be clean and look smart, except when he's doing the garden, lol! Massive ego as bad as no personality at all. Personality wise, someone who can talk about many subjects without making me feel foolish and respect my views.

Unfortunately, we live in an age dominated by social media and the quest to have perfect looks. Only a few young people understand that there are other important traits when seeking a life partner.

divine1966 · Jun 20, 2021 at 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by leomama

I’m sorry my writing didn’t make sense to you.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I don’t see issues with your writing. I just don’t understand how good looks are causing problems. Since it’s not causing problems for me I genuinely wanted to know how it causes problems for you. You don’t have to respond. I was just curious

Open Eyes · Jun 20, 2021 at 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigBubba

I understand your point, but the harsh true is that very often being fat makes you ugly.

Do you think looks are more important than personality when it comes to relationships

Do you think looks are more important than personality when it comes to relationships

I'm a little bit like that dude. I'm no model, but my face was fat and once I've lost lots of weight the game went upside down. Currently I'm slightly overweight (it's a fruit of covid isolation) and AGAIN, my face is bigger and my market value on dating scene is lower haha

Stay in shape. It's healthy, you look better, you don't get tired that much, and you live longer. That's what I say.

Actually the picture on the left? That young man is not ugly. I would not have turned him away for a date.

leomama · Jun 20, 2021 at 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

I don’t see issues with your writing. I just don’t understand how good looks are causing problems. Since it’s not causing problems for me I genuinely wanted to know how it causes problems for you. You don’t have to respond. I was just curious

The issue is with my writing because that’s not exactly what I was saying. I was saying relationship based on looks is problematic.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Werewoman · Jun 20, 2021 at 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigBubba

I'm 26 and I'm not a big fan of long-term relationships so I've been around the block for few years now.

When I was out of shape I had to lead, big time. Girl asking me one question in first 30 minutes was super rare. I even got spit on once lol

When I shaped up and took care of my skin and invested lots of money into my style, I got great results with very little effort. Still, when I showed up on a party with a friend of mine who's looks like a model I wasn nothing more than his shadow to all women in the room.

Yes, its about attraction and looks.

Well, I guess I owe you an apology. You're 26, and I am twice your age but by guppies you know more than I do.

I wish you the best of luck.

Werewoman · Jun 20, 2021 at 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigBubba

And? I'm talking about laws of attraction and it's likely I've been on dating battlefield longer than you since, as I said before, I'm not a relationship kind of guy. Marriage is much different.

yeah, I spent a whole 15 minutes on "the dating battlefield". 🙄

You can pretend to know anything you want, but trust me my boy, you would be shocked to your core if you knew what you think you know.

Open Eyes · Jun 20, 2021 at 08:30 PM

In all fairness to BigBubba at 26 his piers can actually still be shallow and all about looks still

That can be a difficult age imho.

BigBubba · Jun 21, 2021 at 02:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Werewoman

yeah, I spent a whole 15 minutes on "the dating battlefield". 🙄

You can pretend to know anything you want, but trust me my boy, you would be shocked to your core if you knew what you think you know.

There we go, dating professor joined the chat. If you think the rules haven't changed, you're living in the past. Today attractive woman can find guy to talk to while eating breakfast (tinder). And yeah, tinder - the app where you basically swipe right if you like someone or swipe left when you don't. Like = looks only. I bet it wasn't there when you were my age, or am I wrong? Because I'm here, right now, and I can feel the reality on my skin. You're married and you're out the game. You said you're married longer than I'm alive so you've been out the game for a loooooong time.

You can label me as stupid as you pretty much did because of my age or you can think about what I'm saying to you. Imagine a random pretty girl - Sarah.

There is a difference between Sarah who meets 2-3 potential partners a year and Sarah who gets 30 guys ready to talk to her in 10 minutes on tinder.

divine1966 · Jun 21, 2021 at 02:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigBubba

There we go, dating professor joined the chat. If you think the rules haven't changed, you're living in the past. Today attractive woman can find guy to talk to while eating breakfast (tinder). And yeah, tinder - the app where you basically swipe right if you like someone or swipe left when you don't. Like = looks only. I bet it wasn't there when you were my age, or am I wrong? Because I'm here, right now, and I can feel the reality on my skin. You're married and you're out the game. You said you're married longer than I'm alive so you've been out the game for a loooooong time.

You can label me as stupid as you pretty much did because of my age or you can think about what I'm saying to you. Imagine a random pretty girl - Sarah.

There is a difference between Sarah who meets 2-3 potential partners a year and Sarah who gets 30 guys ready to talk to her in 10 minutes on tinder.

Well the thing is that the title of the thread is asking if looks are more important than personality in RELATIOSHIPS. That’s the title of the thread.

It wasn’t asking if it’s more important in getting chats with random guys on a hook up site

Good looking girls will get more hits and chats on a hook up site like tinder, it’s true, or on any dating site.

But it will not be more important than personality in a relationship because guys will drop her like a hot potato if she has a nasty personality and her life is a mess (if they consider relationship). Her looks will not be more important in a relationship

Plenty of average or below average looking people enjoy happy relationships. If looks were more important, only good looking people will be in relationships and it’s simply not true.

I think that’s where disconnect is. People talking about relationships because that’s what thread was about but you talk about good looking people being noticed more. And specifically use example of a hook up site. It’s not the same topic. It’s a valid topic, just a different one.

BigBubba · Jun 21, 2021 at 03:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

I think that’s where disconnect is. People talking about relationships because that’s what thread was about but you talk about good looking people being noticed more. And specifically use example of a hook up site. It’s not the same topic. It’s a valid topic, just a different one.

Three of my friends found spouses on those "hook up sites". So... why "hook up sites"? Maybe it's different abroad, but in Poland people actually get to know each other on these sites, long-term.

My point is that, in my opinion, personality doesnt matter without at least decent looks. And I honestly believe that prettier people can get away with much more than less attractive folks. Also, I can't prove it based on my expierence, but I feel like many people would choose someone with worse personality if they were higher on the looks ladder. When things go south on the couple, physcial attraction is very often the only thing that keeps the two of them "hooked". I mean even on this forum in the "divorce" section we can find many broken marriages when one party says "but I'm still attracted to him". That proves my point.

Werewoman · Jun 21, 2021 at 08:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigBubba

There we go, dating professor joined the chat. If you think the rules haven't changed, you're living in the past. Today attractive woman can find guy to talk to while eating breakfast (tinder). And yeah, tinder - the app where you basically swipe right if you like someone or swipe left when you don't. Like = looks only. I bet it wasn't there when you were my age, or am I wrong? Because I'm here, right now, and I can feel the reality on my skin. You're married and you're out the game. You said you're married longer than I'm alive so you've been out the game for a loooooong time.

You can label me as stupid as you pretty much did because of my age or you can think about what I'm saying to you. Imagine a random pretty girl - Sarah.

There is a difference between Sarah who meets 2-3 potential partners a year and Sarah who gets 30 guys ready to talk to her in 10 minutes on tinder.

Say whatever you want. I could care less. There are many types of relationships, many types of people, more lifestyles in the community, genders, scenes, activities, places and people you don't know exist.

I don't think you're stupid. Sadly, I think you're hopeless. Many many people on this thread have offered you great advice. You might want to listen, but I doubt you will.

BigBubba · Jun 21, 2021 at 08:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Werewoman

I think you're hopeless.

I have no idea what you're talking about right now. When I was physically unnatractive I was doing not so well with women. When I shaped up and became attractive I had some spectacular results and mostly I was doing very well. The conclusion was looks matter a lot. Now I share that point of view and you call me hopeless?

Are you making fun of me right now or what?

eskielover · Jun 21, 2021 at 09:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigBubba

I have no idea what you're talking about right now. When I was physically unnatractive I was doing not so well with women. When I shaped up and became attractive I had some spectacular results and mostly I was doing very well. The conclusion was looks matter a lot. Now I share that point of view and you call me hopeless?

Are you making fun of me right now or what?

Hmmmm, my take on it is that looks matter as long as all you want are meaningless sex flings but REAL PERSONALITY matters if you want a meaningful relationship. So your conclusion is only based on the kind pr associations YOU choose to have in your life

BigBubba · Jun 21, 2021 at 09:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eskielover

Hmmmm, my take on it is that looks matter as long as all you want are meaningless sex flings but REAL PERSONALITY matters if you want a meaningful relationship. So your conclusion is only based on the kind pr associations YOU choose to have in your life

Maybe, I never been comitted. But I bet having physically attractive partner doesn't hurt in the long term, right?

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Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,111 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.3k hugs given	Jun 20, 2021 at 08:30 PM #53 In all fairness to BigBubba at 26 his piers can actually still be shallow and all about looks still That can be a difficult age imho.
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