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Member
Member Since May 2021
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 242
3 476 hugs
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#1
I've posted before about this guy I was obsessed with for 3 years. I'm gonna call him M. M is not one of my exes I previously mentioned in my posts. He's just a guy I hung out and had fun with before and eventually formed an unhealthy attachment to. Anyway, I already stopped talking to him, but I didn't properly say my goodbyes. I did that a couple of times in the past. I sent him long messages on how I was not gonna talk to him again, but I still did. I didn't want to do it this time because I thought I would end up doing the same thing, so I just said I was really sick and I can't text him. He replied, "just text me whenever you feel better." I never texted back because I'm planning to tell him I don't want to talk to him anymore when I'm not depressed. But today, he sent me a message on my work phone saying "hi" and "how are you." (I'm guessing because I was not texting from my personal number.) I forgot that I gave him my work phone number (stupid, I know). With my stability hanging by a thread right now, I don't want to do anything that will surely upset me. If I say "Let's not talk anymore." and he asks why, that will trigger a lot of negative emotions. I left the messages "unseen."
I never want to ghost people because I don't like it being done to me. I have no intentions of talking to M again (aside from when I say I don't want to talk again.) In this case, it is okay to just ghost him? Because I don't know when I'm going to recover from depression. I'm pretty sensitive right now, so I'm anxious about posting this. I just don't know what to do, though. |
Bill3, Britedark, Buffy01, eskielover, Fuzzybear, RoxanneToto, WovenGalaxy
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Buffy01
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Grand Member
Member Since Dec 2010
Location: Westminster, CO USA
Posts: 791
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#2
Me personally, I have no tolerance for ghosters in any situation. Period. I know it’s not the most tactful thing to say right now, but honestly, it only takes a minute to just text him and say that you aren’t interested in continuing the conversation. It’s not that taxing, and since you say you wouldn’t want it done to you, why would you do it to someone else?
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Fuzzybear
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mssweatypalms
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,926
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#3
It sounds like your concern is that when he replies you will keep talking even though you don't want to.
What if you concisely say you don't want to talk anymore, tell him you are blocking him, and then immediately block him completely on all platforms? So that you don't see messages from him? |
Britedark, Fuzzybear, mssweatypalms, Rive., RoxanneToto, WovenGalaxy
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Member
Member Since May 2021
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 242
3 476 hugs
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#4
I just know him enough to expect that he would ask why and I don’t want to explain. He might even try to call and I want to avoid that.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ “Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.”– Soren Kierkegaard |
Britedark, RoxanneToto
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RoxanneToto
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Member
Member Since May 2021
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 242
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#5
Quote:
Exactly. That’s what I’m avoiding. Thanks a lot for this idea. It isn’t bad if I put it this way. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ “Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.”– Soren Kierkegaard |
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Bill3, Fuzzybear
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Member
Member Since May 2021
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 242
3 476 hugs
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#6
Problem solved. I took Bill3’s advice.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ “Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.”– Soren Kierkegaard |
Britedark
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Bill3, eskielover, RoxanneToto, WovenGalaxy
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,405
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#7
Quote:
I also dislike being ghosted (who does like it, I guess) Hugs and respect to you mssweatypalms. I'm glad you posted this and shared! __________________ |
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Bill3, mssweatypalms
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Bill3, mssweatypalms
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Veteran Member
Member Since Dec 2020
Location: Hungary
Posts: 505
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#8
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mssweatypalms
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Member
Member Since May 2021
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 242
3 476 hugs
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#9
Quote:
Anyway, I just had to let that out. I know that you guys just want to help and I really appreciate it. Now I can forget about it. @indigo1015 I saw your thread and I hope you're feeling better now. |
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Bill3, eskielover, RoxanneToto, WovenGalaxy
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Member
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Galaxy far far away
Posts: 98
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#10
Quote:
I am guilty of ghosting certain people. I don’t know if your problem is the same as mine. The thing with me is, I tolerate people up to the point where I simply can't. Anymore. I tell that to them. I complain for a long time and then I let them know I am not interested in seeing them anymore. But. They. Don't. Listen. "Why not? What have I done wrong? Why are you ruining a good thing? Tell me what I need to do different? (Told them a thousand times but they didn't care to listen)" At that point I have no energy left to give any sort of justification for my action. I just want them gone and my mental peace restored. With certain people, ghosting is the only option. If none of this resonates with you please feel free to disregard this post. Hugs. |
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Bill3, mssweatypalms, RoxanneToto
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Bill3, mssweatypalms, RoxanneToto
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Grand Member
Member Since Dec 2010
Location: Westminster, CO USA
Posts: 791
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#11
Quote:
Thank you for the good wishes— I’m sorry if my comment offended you. Ghosting is a sensitive subject for me because people have done it to me a lot, so I don’t really tolerate any justification of it. I’m sorry if it came over a bit harsh. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Last edited by indigo1015; Jul 10, 2021 at 08:32 AM.. |
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mssweatypalms
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mssweatypalms
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
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#12
i think simply writing a message saying that you're not interested in further communication should suffice. If he Still insists you can decline to answer as i think it is your right. Of Course decide by yourself what to do. It seems like you've already did that Anyway. i Hope things will Improve really soon for everyone. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to ALL of you, @mssweatypalms, your Families, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!
Last edited by MickeyCheeky; Jul 10, 2021 at 08:23 AM.. Reason: added Still in the second sentence (originally wrote third sentence) |
mssweatypalms
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mssweatypalms
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Grand Member
Member Since Dec 2010
Location: Westminster, CO USA
Posts: 791
13 8 hugs
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#13
Quote:
I can appreciate what you say, actually. At that point, if you’ve done everything you can and at least you’ve said something and they aren’t listening, it’s on them. I’d block them if i were in that situation. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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Bill3, Britedark, mssweatypalms
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Member
Member Since May 2021
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 242
3 476 hugs
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#14
Quote:
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Grand Member
Member Since Dec 2010
Location: Westminster, CO USA
Posts: 791
13 8 hugs
given |
#15
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mssweatypalms
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,673
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#16
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