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Gymgirl71
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Default Jul 19, 2021 at 11:27 AM
  #1
This is with an obvious narcissist. I am not a doctor, but I have had enough experience to know. I have to make a clean break from him. When he contacts me I start to feel bad abs then he slithers his way back in. This is a friend-nothing romantic, but he’s manipulative, gaslights, hurts my feelings non stop, is self absorbed & I could go on. My sibling met him and could tell immediately he had issues just from the way he talked. He starts to feel uncomfortable if people aren’t fawning over him etc. well we treat people as equals, not on a pedestal. When I tell him he hurt my feelings he will say that I seem to think I am entitled & he’s not responsible for how I feel..
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Default Jul 19, 2021 at 01:11 PM
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I’d say you’re not interested in further communication and block him. I’d only ghost someone as a last resort if nothing else I’d tried worked. He really doesn’t sound like a good friend, in any case. Friends are supposed to care and he doesn’t even apologise for upsetting you.
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Default Jul 19, 2021 at 01:52 PM
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Default Jul 19, 2021 at 02:06 PM
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Originally Posted by RoxanneToto View Post
I’d say you’re not interested in further communication and block him. I’d only ghost someone as a last resort if nothing else I’d tried worked. He really doesn’t sound like a good friend, in any case. Friends are supposed to care and he doesn’t even apologise for upsetting you.
yes absolutely!
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Default Jul 19, 2021 at 02:44 PM
  #5
i partly agree with the other wise and wonderful posters. Just Kindly explain to him that you're not interested in further communicating with him and if he keeps insisting then yeah it may be Necessary to resort to blocking. Decide by yourself if it's Necessary. Hugs. So Sorry you have to Put up with this. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Gymgirl71, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!
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Default Jul 19, 2021 at 03:03 PM
  #6
Block. This has been ONGOING. Just block him and be done once and for all.

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Default Jul 19, 2021 at 06:07 PM
  #7
If this is the same man, then it’s been a constant issue. It’s not getting any better. At this point it’s ok to just stop contact with him. You already broke up many times. You already have been direct and indirect and still nothing comes out of it. Just be done
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Default Jul 21, 2021 at 06:29 AM
  #8
I've had a lot of interactions with narcissists and I'd like to point out a flaw in the blocking system. When someone says to a narc that she/he isn't interested in talking to them, the narc takes it as a personal challenge to make that person talk to them again. If they block one number the narc will contact from a different number or even from a public booth. Blocking only works if the person concerned (in this case the OP) changes her number and moves to a different location.
A better solution is to become as uninteresting as possible in the eyes of the narc. Ghosting is a very effective way of doing it. Don't reply to 9 texts and in the 10th only say something non committal like 'meh' or 'OK'. Never ever pick up the phone. Ever. Just text back occasionally and try to gradually increase the gap between two texts. If the narc tells you about his achievement only reply with 'I see'. DO NOT OFFER ANY POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT. No congratulations. Never share any personal info with the narc. How are you? 'Good'. How is work? 'Usual'. Wanna know what my boss said today? No reply. Don't show the minimum curiosity in what he is saying. If you can be steadfast about it, usually it doesn't take long for the narc to lose interest.
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Default Jul 21, 2021 at 03:09 PM
  #9
I wouldn’t even bother with an explanation because he doesn’t deserve it and likely won’t care. Block him everywhere. All social media, all sites all phone numbers.

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Default Jul 23, 2021 at 07:07 AM
  #10
Narcissists thrive on drama and being the center of attention. They like to have the control and often play the victim role because it provides attention. They are users and tend to have a patsy list of individuals they can turn to for a feed. If they don’t get the feed they feel entitled to they distance in search of a place they can get their desired feed. It’s typically an effort to make up for a lack in their childhood.

So just become boring and unaffected by their drama and they tend to distance to find it else where.

Last edited by Open Eyes; Jul 23, 2021 at 07:46 AM..
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Default Jul 23, 2021 at 08:13 AM
  #11
If you want to make a break from someone, it doesn’t matter narcissist or not, just do it as you would with anyone in a way you feel good about your own actions.

When I’ve ended relationships I’ve stopped contacting them, told them I’m busy and blew them off. If they confronted me, I’ve been honest as to why. If they kept trying to draw me back in, saying they’ve changed or time has passed so they think I forgot, I sometimes made the mistake of going back just like you have. But at this point, you wouldn’t fall back in. It’s funny how people like that seem to have a sense of that, and they don’t call again when you really won’t get sucked back in. They must get the hint and don’t set themselves up for rejection. I’ve never had one come back and ask for another chance, once I was ready to stick to my guns and say no.

It was turned around on me too, them saying I was too sensitive and they couldn’t tolerate ‘walking on eggshells’ with me.

It’s nice to be rid of toxic friends. I miss the fun times, but they had to go for my health. You may miss them, though, as they were interesting and it’s lonely to be alone. I hope you make nice, new friends who are healthy for you.

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Default Jul 23, 2021 at 09:57 AM
  #12
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Originally Posted by Gymgirl71 View Post
This is with an obvious narcissist. I am not a doctor, but I have had enough experience to know. I have to make a clean break from him. When he contacts me I start to feel bad abs then he slithers his way back in. This is a friend-nothing romantic, but he’s manipulative, gaslights, hurts my feelings non stop, is self absorbed & I could go on. My sibling met him and could tell immediately he had issues just from the way he talked. He starts to feel uncomfortable if people aren’t fawning over him etc. well we treat people as equals, not on a pedestal. When I tell him he hurt my feelings he will say that I seem to think I am entitled & he’s not responsible for how I feel..

I will give the same advice that was given to me, talk about yourself not the other person . Going from there how does it make you feel to go no contact vs explaining yourself to him. Then from there you can decide what the next step is.
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Default Jul 23, 2021 at 11:15 AM
  #13
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Originally Posted by RoxanneToto View Post
I’d say you’re not interested in further communication and block him. I’d only ghost someone as a last resort if nothing else I’d tried worked. He really doesn’t sound like a good friend, in any case. Friends are supposed to care and he doesn’t even apologise for upsetting you.

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