advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Harris82
Newly Joined
Harris82 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2021
Location: Utah
Posts: 1
2 yr Member
Default Jul 25, 2021 at 08:31 PM
  #1
I'm becoming exhausted and just close to the end.
I have been married for 10 years and just had our first child, mind you a child he "didn't want", even though we tried for her. He knew how it important it was to me, to become a mother.
Years leading up to having our daughter, I lost both my parents to health problems. I am fairly young myself, 30 years old. So it's been a lot to cope with.
Over the years, we have fought pretty constant and even separated for a few months.
I want so badly for us to work but I feel like I am hitting a wall.
He is mean.. I'm called every name you can think of, constantly yelled at, told its my fault, I'm sensitive or offended or a child. It even gets physical. Really my fault for that, but it's me trying to beg him I am sorry and can we talk. But he is in red mode and throwing and pushing and I should walk away but stupidly don't.
I feel alone, lost and tired. I raise our child alone and am constantly dismissed, demeaned and unwanted.
I don't even know what I am looking for here... I just had to write this down.. maybe in hopes to hear I'm not alone? I don't know.. I'm just getting tired and depressed and decided to join this forum for... what I'm not sure.. maybe I'll find what that is I'm looking or written for here..
Harris82 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Bill3, Britedark, hvert, mssweatypalms
 
Thanks for this!
Bill3, seesaw

advertisement
seesaw
Human
 
seesaw's Avatar
seesaw grieving
 
Member Since: Apr 2014
Location: Home
Posts: 8,341 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
1,262 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 26, 2021 at 02:30 AM
  #2
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harris82 View Post
I'm becoming exhausted and just close to the end.

I have been married for 10 years and just had our first child, mind you a child he "didn't want", even though we tried for her. He knew how it important it was to me, to become a mother.

Years leading up to having our daughter, I lost both my parents to health problems. I am fairly young myself, 30 years old. So it's been a lot to cope with.

Over the years, we have fought pretty constant and even separated for a few months.

I want so badly for us to work but I feel like I am hitting a wall.

He is mean.. I'm called every name you can think of, constantly yelled at, told its my fault, I'm sensitive or offended or a child. It even gets physical. Really my fault for that, but it's me trying to beg him I am sorry and can we talk. But he is in red mode and throwing and pushing and I should walk away but stupidly don't.

I feel alone, lost and tired. I raise our child alone and am constantly dismissed, demeaned and unwanted.

I don't even know what I am looking for here... I just had to write this down.. maybe in hopes to hear I'm not alone? I don't know.. I'm just getting tired and depressed and decided to join this forum for... what I'm not sure.. maybe I'll find what that is I'm looking or written for here..
Hi Harris, I think you know what you need to do for your health and well being and that of your child. I think parents make better parents when they are healthy and happy, regardless of married or separated. Life is too short to sacrifice it entirely and needlessly.

Sent from my SM-N986U using Tapatalk

__________________


What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
seesaw is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Britedark
Britedark
Member
Britedark has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: Galaxy far far away
Posts: 98
5 yr Member
94 hugs
given
Default Jul 26, 2021 at 03:24 AM
  #3
Hi! I just want to say that I am very sorry you are going through this pain. You do not deserve this, nobody does. My father was not the ideal father. Growing up around him has damaged me in more than one way. You have a daughter, and I think the sooner you remove her from your husband's toxic presence the better it will be for her. Children are very perceptive. Seeing her mother being treated like this can cause severe harm to her self-image. Sending you lots of good vibes.
Britedark is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
mssweatypalms
Rive.
Magnate
Rive. has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,002
10 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 26, 2021 at 11:16 AM
  #4
Quote:
It even gets physical. Really my fault for that
Erm, no. It's not your fault getting abused. It is the fault of the abuser.

I would leave this situation as it is dangerous not only for you but for your child.
Rive. is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Bill3, mssweatypalms
MickeyCheeky
Legendary
 
MickeyCheeky's Avatar
MickeyCheeky My echo is the only voice coming back
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
38.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 26, 2021 at 12:29 PM
  #5
So Sorry for your Losses and for what you're Going through! Please Do not give up! Hugs. i am afraid i must agree with the other wise and wonderful posters about this relationship not being good for your own child. i think it may be necessary to make him understand that this relationship can't continue this way. i'd say either tell him that he needs to change, perhaps even through therapy, or you need to leave. Please just try to stay Safe whatever decision you take. Also consider some shelters if that proves to be necessary as well as a lawyer if you do decide to go through divorce. Love. Be Strong. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Harris82, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!
MickeyCheeky is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Bill3
Legendary
Bill3 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,923
15 yr Member
24.1k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 26, 2021 at 02:33 PM
  #6
Bill3 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Open Eyes
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Open Eyes's Avatar
Open Eyes Not a Unicorn, just another horse
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,093 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
21.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 26, 2021 at 05:05 PM
  #7
It’s time to not only value yourself but also your baby. Neither of you deserve to experience this clearly toxic and abusive man.

It is understandable that you want a healthy relationship
But this man is NOT going to be healthy for you he is a mean abusive beast.
Open Eyes is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
mssweatypalms
rechu
Magnate
 
rechu's Avatar
rechu has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Somewhere in South America
Posts: 2,209
5 yr Member
1,037 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 26, 2021 at 05:26 PM
  #8
Your post really has me concerned the way you blame yourself for his abuse. I know the psychology of abuse is complicated, but I would urge you, for your safety and that of your child to look for resources in your community for abuse victims. There is a great group of people here to turn to for support.
rechu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:09 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.