[black-roses]

So I went to my friends house to hang out and romp on well lol. Anyway, I talked about my mental health and how I lack basic independent skills like making my bed I told him that mum pretty much does everything except bathe me. I explained to him that she doesn't have friends and he told me that my mum probably doesn't have anyone to turn to and vent. It made me really think harder and now I understand her intense anxiety and depression. I came home and talked to her and told her I was sorry that she didn't get the help she deserved. I basically tried to say I was sorry that she had to do so much for me but she said it wasn't even me that she was upset about or worried. She said that she feels like my dad and my sister is against her. My dad often says that my mum only wants me for money and Daniela criticizes mum heavily for when she sleeps in and isn't able to do things for me. I said to her I understood she was intensely worried about me and wanted to do things for me. She said that's not what pains her the most she doesn't mind taking care of me as long as there's no arguments etc. . It made me feel so much better to talk to her. She said that what pains her the most is the lack of help I got from the mental health system. I told her not to worry and I'll try and get her help. It's a talk that probably should have happened earlier and I feel kind of sad that I didn't even think about what it must of felt like for her, but I'm glad that I can see it from her perspective. I feel like I'm more involved in her world. Being able to feel her pain makes me feel better for I guess feeling like I burden her, I feel less guilty now that I can carry her pain as well.

@black-roses and all:

It sounds like you are sincerely concerned about your mom's feelings and that's a beautiful thing!

Wishing you love and light and success in your struggles!

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by black-roses

So I went to my friends house to hang out and romp on well lol. Anyway, I talked about my mental health and how I lack basic independent skills like making my bed I told him that mum pretty much does everything except bathe me. I explained to him that she doesn't have friends and he told me that my mum probably doesn't have anyone to turn to and vent. It made me really think harder and now I understand her intense anxiety and depression. I came home and talked to her and told her I was sorry that she didn't get the help she deserved. I basically tried to say I was sorry that she had to do so much for me but she said it wasn't even me that she was upset about or worried. She said that she feels like my dad and my sister is against her. My dad often says that my mum only wants me for money and Daniela criticizes mum heavily for when she sleeps in and isn't able to do things for me. I said to her I understood she was intensely worried about me and wanted to do things for me. She said that's not what pains her the most she doesn't mind taking care of me as long as there's no arguments etc. . It made me feel so much better to talk to her. She said that what pains her the most is the lack of help I got from the mental health system. I told her not to worry and I'll try and get her help. It's a talk that probably should have happened earlier and I feel kind of sad that I didn't even think about what it must of felt like for her, but I'm glad that I can see it from her perspective. I feel like I'm more involved in her world. Being able to feel her pain makes me feel better for I guess feeling like I burden her, I feel less guilty now that I can carry her pain as well.

I would read the road back to me by Lisa A Romano and Codependency no more by Lisa A Romano. Lisa has great YouTube videos for codependency and abandonment. I hope this helps you.