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Default Aug 01, 2021 at 08:06 PM
  #21
I just want to say that you can live without a partner , with a disability, and without a car , but you will probably have to work .
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Default Aug 01, 2021 at 08:21 PM
  #22
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I just want to say that you can live without a partner , with a disability, and without a car , but you will probably have to work .
I’d talk to a lawyer and see what the chances are re spousal support. It might be significant amount that will allow her to function and possibly not work. My husband’s ex only worked 10 hours a week after divorce and lived fully on a spousal support that we paid her and we thought she also got some welfare. Her spousal support wasn’t indefinite as she was not on disability but I heard some stories if ex spouse is on disability spousal support might be for life. Bottom line is to talk to a lawyer
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Default Aug 01, 2021 at 08:59 PM
  #23
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I am sorry. It’s a dilemma. I’d proceed with caution and try to find out what kind of group is it and what’s his goal in joining such a group. Is it for dating and finding intimate partners or is it for activities he enjoys and it’s just happens to be singles group? I have a married friend who belongs to singles biking and hiking group. Her husband wouldn’t bike and hike so the only good hiking group is singles group.

I remember in the past he had a problem with some of your activities. Talk to him first. Of course he might lie but ask him to show you what messages are exchanged in the group. It might be innocent

Also when you think of it you’ve had feelings for other people in the course of the marriage and I recall you reported you actually fell in love with one of your submissive or something. Your husband didn’t leave you but he requested you stop it or something like that. I know you didn't consider it cheating but he likely doesn’t consider joining singles groups cheating either (and technically just joining a group isn’t probably cheating).

So is the issue him being secretive and hiding that he is married or is it him joining singles group? Bottom line talk to him first and see what he has to say
Correction. HE said my friend and I were in love. That was never true. I think he doesn't like her because she's transgender. She's still my friend. I never gave in no matter how jealous he got because there was nothing to be jealous about. He said I talked to her more than him. I can't answer to that one because I never kept track of exactly how much time each day I spent talking with each of them. I thought that to be ridiculous.
The issue is both. Bottom line, his profile reads like he's a single man looking for a good time.
Yeah I know what a walking effed up disaster I am. I know how hard I am to live with and I've never found a med that controls my overly extreme emotions. I know he's sick to death of dealing with it after 20 years.
Just if you want to replace me, have the common decency to tell me before you go looking.

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Default Aug 01, 2021 at 09:12 PM
  #24
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Sorry, i didn't understand that! Is a part-Time job allowed?
I don't know. When you're on SSI, you can't earn more than $1100.00 per month.
My MI still is not under control. It's the reason I can't work.

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Default Aug 01, 2021 at 09:22 PM
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That’s quite a dilemma. When I asked my now ex husband to leave I did not have a job and when I tried to work I found out I was disabled. That lasted for 10 years. I rode my bike or took the bus to appointments. I did not however have ketamine injections. Have you talked to your psychiatrist about your situation?
Ketamine infusions. It's administered through an IV in my arm over a period of about 45 minutes. It literally keeps me alive. It's the ONLY thing that controls my TRD.

I texted my pdoc and T that evening and told them.

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Default Aug 01, 2021 at 09:24 PM
  #26
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Ketamine infusions. It's administered through an IV in my arm over a period of about 45 minutes. It literally keeps me alive. It's the ONLY thing that controls my TRD.

I texted my pdoc and T that evening and told them.

I’m not familiar with the term TRD. For myself , I can’t take much seroquel because I work .
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Default Aug 01, 2021 at 09:44 PM
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I am surprised that no one has really addressed this paragraph. Is he aware that you feel this way about him? I mean, essentially he is a meal ticket and taxi service. What does he get out of the relationship? I guess it sort of stuck a nerve with me, because I had an ex like that. It is one of the main reasons why he is an ex. I got sick of feeling like I was being used.


It sounds like your only option is to stick it out until you can find a way to support yourself. What would you do if he left you? You would have to find some way to survive.

I agree with the previous comment that you should try to bring it up at a moment when you are calm to keep things from getting too confrontational.



I have been married 12 years and I'd have to disagree with your statement that, "marriage is more about what you can tolerate than anything else." I certainly don't feel that way about my husband. We actually enjoy being married to each other.
Tough crowd tonight.

Yes,he's aware of how I feel. My intention in that paragraph was to tell all he does for me. I do drive. Just not to the ketamine clinic and back. See if you can drive numb. He's not a damn taxi service.
He gets a wife who would die of a broken heart if anything ever happened to him. He gets an excellent cook and my appreciation for starters. He's my best friend and my soul mate. Yeah, it's not great right now but it's tolerable. Oh, and I gave him his son he always wanted.

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Default Aug 01, 2021 at 09:55 PM
  #28
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I’m not familiar with the term TRD. For myself , I can’t take much seroquel because I work .
Treatment Resistant Depression

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Default Aug 01, 2021 at 10:24 PM
  #29
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Tough crowd tonight.

Yes,he's aware of how I feel. My intention in that paragraph was to tell all he does for me. I do drive. Just not to the ketamine clinic and back. See if you can drive numb. He's not a damn taxi service.
He gets a wife who would die of a broken heart if anything ever happened to him. He gets an excellent cook and my appreciation for starters. He's my best friend and my soul mate. Yeah, it's not great right now but it's tolerable. Oh, and I gave him his son he always wanted.
Is there some service that will drive you to clinic and back? It is good he drives but there are other ways to get around. Many people don’t drive at all and aren’t married. You mentioned friends. Maybe they can drive you to a clinic?
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Default Aug 01, 2021 at 10:59 PM
  #30
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Tough crowd tonight.

Yes,he's aware of how I feel. My intention in that paragraph was to tell all he does for me. I do drive. Just not to the ketamine clinic and back. See if you can drive numb. He's not a damn taxi service.
He gets a wife who would die of a broken heart if anything ever happened to him. He gets an excellent cook and my appreciation for starters. He's my best friend and my soul mate. Yeah, it's not great right now but it's tolerable. Oh, and I gave him his son he always wanted.

You sound resentful towards the other posters? What response would you like?
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Default Aug 02, 2021 at 05:17 AM
  #31
I find it absurd that someone has one complaint about their spouse and almost everyone is all about "leave him now!" It's not so easy, and very possibly not a wise move.

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Default Aug 02, 2021 at 05:31 AM
  #32
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Is there some service that will drive you to clinic and back? It is good he drives but there are other ways to get around. Many people don’t drive at all and aren’t married. You mentioned friends. Maybe they can drive you to a clinic?
He doesn't mind driving me to my treatments and I need assistance to get to the car after. It's a 40 mile trip one way.

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Default Aug 02, 2021 at 05:36 AM
  #33
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Is there some service that will drive you to clinic and back? It is good he drives but there are other ways to get around. Many people don’t drive at all and aren’t married. You mentioned friends. Maybe they can drive you to a clinic?
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You sound resentful towards the other posters? What response would you like?
???

I'm not the least bit resentful. If I don't want feedback, positive or negative, I don't post.
My situation is very, very confusing right now.

I apologize if I offended anyone. It was not my intention and I think it best to close the thread.

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Default Aug 02, 2021 at 06:46 AM
  #34

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Default Aug 02, 2021 at 07:52 AM
  #35
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???

I'm not the least bit resentful. If I don't want feedback, positive or negative, I don't post.
My situation is very, very confusing right now.

I apologize if I offended anyone. It was not my intention and I think it best to close the thread.

I meant because you said “tough crowd” that you weren’t getting useful feedback . It sounds like you just needed to vent. I wish you the best.
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Default Aug 02, 2021 at 08:08 AM
  #36
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I find it absurd that someone has one complaint about their spouse and almost everyone is all about "leave him now!" It's not so easy, and very possibly not a wise move.
I don’t believe she should immediately leave him at all. Neither does anyone else. No one said leave him now. I sure didn’t

I and it sounds like several others just don’t understand staying for a reason of him driving to appointments. Tons of people don’t drive, are sick and have never been married. Not every woman has a man to drive her anywhere or do anything for her at all.
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