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BigBubba
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Default Sep 05, 2021 at 08:18 AM
  #1
I've been working on a huge, possibly life-changing project - very advanced and challenging. Everybody around me knew about it and they were pretty supportive. Fingers crossed, go for it, you'll be famous, etc....

Now I've just finished about 50% of the project and once I let everyone know it's going really well - performing as advertised - the people became... I dunno, weird?

The responses are more like radio silence, changing subject, ignoring me, or even being hostile towards what I show them, pointing out every flaw they could think of without ANY (not even one) good word about the outcome.

At first I thought maybe the results are not as good. I've become paranoid, I couldn't sleep. I've distanced myself and today I know these results are really good. What is up with people? Are we really self-serving jerks who can't handle people when they face success they've worked for? Can it be it? Or maybe there is something I'm doing wrong? I don't get it. I wasn't bragging. I've just showed them what I did so far and told them it was hard but it's looking good, as I planned.
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Default Sep 05, 2021 at 10:45 AM
  #2
Hard to say with details given here. Would it be considered a controversial or weird subject (project)?
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Default Sep 05, 2021 at 11:02 AM
  #3
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Originally Posted by Molinit View Post
Hard to say with details given here. Would it be considered a controversial or weird subject (project)?
No. I'd say difficult and because of that rare - these kind of things usually don't work.
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Default Sep 05, 2021 at 11:12 AM
  #4
You may be expecting too much from individuals that do not have the ability to appreciate what you are trying to accomplish. Also it’s your vision too so it’s normal that others may not be in tune with you and it doesn’t equate to the true value of the project.
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Default Sep 05, 2021 at 12:07 PM
  #5
Yeah, many people cannot deal with someone else being successful. It is merely a reflection on THEM and not on YOU or anything you've done wrong. It shows where they're at in their own lives. Same with really happy people. Many cannot stand to see a really happy person because it just reminds them of their own unhappiness in life. It comes down to insecurity, lack of self worth and not feeling successful themselves, somehow. Ideally, they would all be thrilled for you AND proud of you for your hard work and achievements so far. It's really too bad. Sorry you had to deal with such sour pusses and congrats on all your hard work!

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Default Sep 05, 2021 at 06:37 PM
  #6
@BigBubba:

What is the project?
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Default Sep 05, 2021 at 06:48 PM
  #7
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Originally Posted by whatever2013 View Post
What is the project?
A very ambitious (meaning easy to screw up) motion picture.
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Default Sep 05, 2021 at 08:40 PM
  #8
@BigBubba and all:

Too cool! I love movies! What type of movie is it? What is the plot? What technology are you using?
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Default Sep 05, 2021 at 09:03 PM
  #9
So Sorry you're not getting the expected responses! Please Do not give up! Hugs. i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters that it may be more a reflection on them than it is on you perhaps and that being personal of course you'd care more about it than them i imagine. i'd suggest not to give it much thought unless you feel like you're doing something bad and simply move on with your project if you feel like it's Good. Be Kind to yourself. Do try your Best. M. i Hope things will work out anyway. Please do Update us if possible if you want to obviously. Love. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @BigBubba, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!
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Default Sep 05, 2021 at 09:33 PM
  #10
Perhaps you know the saying:

A prophet is not without honor, except in his own country, and among his own people.

Your success might be giving people discomfort in having to perhaps reassess and modify how they have up until now seen you in comparison with themselves.

Btw--Congratulations!
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Default Sep 06, 2021 at 05:27 AM
  #11
@whatever2013 It's a spy love story short film that is a tribute to the most iconic action/spy series in history (Bond/Bourne/etc.). We film it with Cooke lenses so we could achieve look similar to the series I've mentioned above, though it's all digital. The main goal is to make it right and use it to start a new project - same style, but a bigger one - a featured film with theatrical release.
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Default Sep 06, 2021 at 05:29 AM
  #12
Many thanks to all of you for your valuable input.
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Default Sep 06, 2021 at 06:00 AM
  #13
@BigBubba and all:

That sounds wonderful! I love "The Bourne Identity"!!! Such an intriguing story! My parents loved the book too. I like actions stories with a love story as a subplot. I can see now why it's such a mammoth undertaking. But it's good to have passions and if you persist in working toward your goal i am certain you will get there and i will say, "I knew you WHEN"!!!

Wishing you love and light and good camera angles!!!
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Default Sep 06, 2021 at 07:42 AM
  #14
Wishing you every success!
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Default Sep 06, 2021 at 04:08 PM
  #15
Ethically-challenged people, yes.

Whenever I'm in the middle of a conversation and I ask the person how do you feel about talking with someone who suffers from mental illness..
If I get "radio silence" for a long period of time.
I respond with "your silence speaks volumes. I feel the same way about talking with ethically-challenged people. So I'm gonna say goodbye. At least unless you see a counselor of some kind. And learn about codes of social obligation.
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Default Sep 06, 2021 at 04:43 PM
  #16
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Originally Posted by Labhradha22 View Post
Ethically-challenged people, yes.

Whenever I'm in the middle of a conversation and I ask the person how do you feel about talking with someone who suffers from mental illness..
If I get "radio silence" for a long period of time.
I respond with "your silence speaks volumes. I feel the same way about talking with ethically-challenged people. So I'm gonna say goodbye. At least unless you see a counselor of some kind. And learn about codes of social obligation.
I'm sorry, but I don't understand your point. Could you explain?
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Default Sep 07, 2021 at 10:54 AM
  #17
Some people become jealous at the reality - or actuality - of another person's success.
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Default Sep 07, 2021 at 11:06 AM
  #18
I think there could be different things going on: (1) some people think they are helping by providing criticism. In my field a lot of people will review my work and give feedback, and it can feel like they are tearing it apart, but really it helps me find the holes so I can make it even better. So that could be some people's take - that they are "helping" by giving you critical feedback. OR (2) some people just like to take other people down a peg to make themselves feel better. And that "some" is actually "a lot" of people. A LOT of people feel bad about themselves when they see a friend or family member succeed, so they criticize that person to bring them back to their level and make themselves feel better about being mediocre or failing at one thing or another. They don't even really know they are doing it, and it's not so much that they mean to harm you - they are protecting their idea of themselves as successful by making you seem less successful. So, as in all things - their comments are really about them, not about you or your project.

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Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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Default Sep 11, 2021 at 09:16 AM
  #19
I did a little test and it seems like my "friends" and "family" can't imagine that what I'm doing can be perceived good or very professional. I've shown my friend a sequence from other movie (not mine) and asked him what he thinks of it and he said not bad, but in his opinion its not on professional level yet... it was a sequence from a movie which was awarded on multiple top-league international festivals and gathered several million people in theaters back in 2018. He didnt watch it and he doesnt know what my movie is about, so he believed me when I said its a sequence I've just filmed.

You guys were right. They don't like it because its mine. Its so f.... painful.
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Default Sep 11, 2021 at 09:27 AM
  #20
Quote:
They don't like it because its mine.
I am thinking that it might be more about them than it is about you.

Look at it this way: if another person close to them was having similar unanticipated success, what would their reaction be? If their reaction would be similar, then what is happening isn't personal to you, it is about their view of themselves.
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